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Thread: Frustrated ENFJ

  1. #71
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    okay yeah that's pretty much me

    Several times, it has been as if I "couldn't take it anymore" and made some absolutely drastic change in the form of self-improvement after some stressor. (forgive the "entj perspective"--it still fits)

    Taking everything personally and subjectively means taking everything upon your own shoulders, which can translate into a desire to do anything possible to tackle everything head-on. Hence, yeah, the self-improvement kick.

    It's a balance. We can be prone to overload if we realize that not everything is about us--not in a selfish way, but more the standpoint that we should not feel responsible for absolutely everything that goes on around us.

    And we have to recognize our motivations, too. Although others can spur us to change, we are ultimately healthier if we include ourselves and our own motivations in the picture, deciding whether it's what we really want to do.

  2. #72
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    Quote Originally Posted by PinkPiranha View Post
    There *is* no upshot. There really really isn't.

    You will always be too intense. Too isolated. Too "much". Too solitary. You're none of the ESFJ good things, you're none of the INFJ good things.

    Enjoy your shock collar.
    Aww.. I'm shocked that you think that. My best friend is an ENFJ and what I love most about her is that she is intense and extremely loving! She does a little bit of modeling and is absolutely stunning (most ENFJs are!).There is definitely a lot to be proud of.

  3. #73
    The Black Knight Domino's Avatar
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    Welcome to the board, Kiwi!
    eNFJ 4w3 sx/so 468 tritype
    Neutral Good
    EII-Fi subtype, Ethical/Empath, Delta/Beta
    RLUEI, Choleric/Melancholic
    Inquistive/Limbic
    AIS Holland code
    Researcher: VDI-P
    Dramatic>Sensitive>Serious

  4. #74
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    Quote Originally Posted by PinkPiranha View Post
    Welcome to the board, Kiwi!
    Thank you.

  5. #75
    Member shimsham's Avatar
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    Hi Pink,

    So, I don't really know you beyond what I see of your postings on here, and this thread is a bit old, but I really felt compelled to give you my two cents anyway. So, here goes...

    First, I think it's really easy to go on this site/online when you're in a somewhat wounded state, and focus only on the negatives of your MBTI personality. Each personality type has a multitude of positives, as well as a bunch of negatives. I don't think any type can be considered "better" or "worse" than any other. But, despite that, I still find myself falling into the state of mind that you seem to be in right now- namely, getting entangled in all of other peoples' pet peeves about your type, its negative traits, etc, and completely forgetting about all of the positives.

    Like I said, I only know you from your postings on this site, but even so, I have always found your posts to be funny, intelligent, and thoughtful. You feel strongly, you're unabashedly opinionated, you're downright hilarious. Why are these bad things? I certainly don't think they are. I hope that eventually you'll learn that many will think your intensity is not a negative aspect of your personality, but rather a positive. Who cares if you aren't always the best at those boring social niceties- that's just the shallow stuff anyway. Some people may never "get" you, but that's the case for everyone.

    Anyway, you caught me on an especially contemplative day and your post struck a cord with me. Just try not to be so hard on yourself. You're awesome.

  6. #76
    The Black Knight Domino's Avatar
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    Shimsham Glad to meet you (and to know that you're a shim sham and not a flim flam which is entirely different... I think... lol )

    You know, you're right. It was a bogging down in the negatives. I'm not naturally an optimist, but I do believe in the general goodness of human beings, and when they start hammering en masse on something that has a lot to do with me personally, I get very hurt and deflated and retreat to my box, wondering how people can be so mean and reactively judgmental about a spectrum of other people. When things aren't going right ANYWHERE, I lose my sense of forward motion and turn into a little black storm cloud.

    You should come out of lurking and post more often! Thanks for replying!

  7. #77
    Member shimsham's Avatar
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    Nice to meet you too. Thanks for letting me to play pseudo-counselor, it's a little problem I sometimes have.

    I definitely think a little criticism goes a long way with us feeling types. If someone does a little too much harping on my personality then next thing you know I'm wallowing in angsty self-contemplation for days.

    And as much as I love my lurking, I'll work on posting a bit more too!

  8. #78
    Senior Member SpottingTrains's Avatar
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    Instead of starting my own thread I will just jump on the frustrated ENFJ wagon.

    Yeeeeeeeeee-hhaaaaaaaaaaawwww

    Selling my Fe off to the lowest bidder!
    "That's the thing about girls. Every time they do something pretty, even if they're not much to look at, or even if they're sort of stupid, you fall half in love with them, and then you never know where the hell you are. Girls. Jesus Christ. They can drive you crazy. They really can."

  9. #79
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    What's wrong?
    () 9w8-3w4-7w6 tritype.

    sCueI (primary Inquisition)

  10. #80
    Senior Member Littlelostnf's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by PinkPiranha View Post
    Well. It just seems to me that I'm constantly getting told that I'm too much even when I'm behaving myself. ESFJs are grounded and fun. INFJs are mysterious and sparkly.

    I fall in a bad place between them. The hard parts.
    It's not true. Lots of people who are messed up themselves project on to the person who is most likely to take the blame..that's us. What did I do wrong.

    I'm sorry.

    I'm ok...you're ok.
    for my life is slowed up by thought and the need to understand what I am living.

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