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Thread: Frustrated ENFJ

  1. #51
    Badoom~ Skyward's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Thursday View Post
    I watched Fringe and then thought of my friend who is an ENFJ to come up with this :

    ENFJs are inverted empaths
    meaning that their emotions affect the outer world, precisely.
    When you feel down, the whole room is in the pits
    When you are levitating, the room is flying.
    That makes a good deal of sense. Fe is basically 'Fi pushed outside' and since it's the 'energy gain' main function of an EFJ, it makes it sound like there's a big pressure inside of the EFJ if they can't release the intensity.
    'Imperfection is beauty, madness is genius and its better to be absolutely ridiculous than absolutely boring.' - Marilyn Monroe

    This is who I am, escapist, paradise-seeker.
    -Nightwish

    Anthropology Major out of Hamline University. St. Paul, Minnesota.

  2. #52
    Senior Member SpottingTrains's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by g_vartan View Post
    here are some of my reasons:

    we keep the shades on to make others happy. we hold back. a lot. my external persona is pretty opposite to what i think/feel about myself.

    honestly, i'm not really "protecting" others. i'm really trying to protect myself. sad to say, i derive my a lot happiness from others. its harder to keep up though as i get older. i sometimes think i spread myself too thin so that i don't have to be too intense and focus my attention just on one issue/person.

    what's wrong with us? we care too much about everything/others. there's a lot of insecurity underneath the facade. i sometimes wish i was an xNTx and can hang-up my ENFJ cape. fortunately or unfortunately, this is the only way i know how to live -- with intensity and passion. my motto tends to be "go big or go home." i find that the key is finding folks that can handle that intensity. currently, i have it in nice bite size intensity chunks spread among my friends. now, if i can only find a romantic partner who can handle the whole intense meal
    I really liked the part about trying to spread out the intensity.

    I have a hard time trying to hold back how strongly I feel about certain situations. Sometimes I just feel overwhelmed with everything around me and I'm off the hook in what most people would deem a normal situation. While other times when others are having a great time I feel disconnected and have an intense disappointment with the whole situation. Trying to find that happy medium that is socially acceptable is the tough part...but at the same time I almost don't want to.

    Maybe that is where the intense disappointment stems from. Toning down the level of my intensity to a group norm just drains me of any interest. Sure I get by but is it really worth it?

    I think the trick is finding people people who enjoy the intensity and feed off of it...should be a piece of cake...
    "That's the thing about girls. Every time they do something pretty, even if they're not much to look at, or even if they're sort of stupid, you fall half in love with them, and then you never know where the hell you are. Girls. Jesus Christ. They can drive you crazy. They really can."

  3. #53
    Senior Member Jonathanthegreat's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by PinkPiranha View Post
    There *is* no upshot. There really really isn't.

    You will always be too intense. Too isolated. Too "much". Too solitary. You're none of the ESFJ good things, you're none of the INFJ good things.

    Enjoy your shock collar.
    Hey be happy. A good quote for you is this : "Go where you are celebrated, not where you are tolerated." You being an ENFJ means that you are a good natured and gregarious person. Find people that love you for you, there are 6.5 BILLION people on this planet. You'll find a group of folks who will celebrate you

  4. #54
    Senior Member MrME's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by PinkPiranha View Post
    There *is* no upshot. There really really isn't.
    Ridiculous. Some months ago, my workplace hired an ENFJ and she sits right behind me. She was very quick and adept at making friends with pretty much everybody on the staff. She's smart and amiable, probably the most extraverted one on staff. She's very good at her job, very quick to create emotional bonds with customers during even the shortest of encounters. This ability gives her an edge not only at work, but in many social situations. Personally, I'm a little jealous of it.

    Quote Originally Posted by PinkPiranha View Post
    You will always be too intense. Too isolated. Too "much". Too solitary. You're none of the ESFJ good things, you're none of the INFJ good things.
    "Too" is subjective. What's too intense for one person may be just the right intensity for another. Remember that you can't be all things to all people. There will always be somebody that you rub the wrong way; this is true for all of us.

    ENFJ, to me, is like INFJ, but without the wall around you. That wall has been my biggest obstacle in life, too many times I wished I was able to simply drop my guard and be ultra-friendly with people. ENFJs do this with surprising ease, it seems. Again, it's an ability I am jealous of.

    We all need to remember that we all embody positive and negative traits. We are all Yin and Yang, and if we had no negative aspects, then we would have no positive. Focus on the positive. Only then does your full potential reveal itself to you. Focusing on your negative aspects is a sure-fire road to failure and misery.

    Do I sound like some kind of cut-rate Yoda, here? heehee...
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  5. #55
    The Black Knight Domino's Avatar
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    My enfp sister told me last night that the Cyclops sunglasses were to protect people from what they THINK enfjs are like, not what we ARE like. I found that to be a very interesting statement.
    eNFJ 4w3 sx/so 468 tritype
    Neutral Good
    EII-Fi subtype, Ethical/Empath, Delta/Beta
    RLUEI, Choleric/Melancholic
    Inquistive/Limbic
    AIS Holland code
    Researcher: VDI-P
    Dramatic>Sensitive>Serious

  6. #56
    Glycerine
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    I really like ENFJs. I am rather envious of their charisma and charm.

  7. #57
    The Black Knight Domino's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by IDK123 View Post
    I really like ENFJs. I am rather envious of their charisma and charm.
    And we are envious of your cosmic minerals and therefore must lick them off like deranged butterflies from outer space.
    eNFJ 4w3 sx/so 468 tritype
    Neutral Good
    EII-Fi subtype, Ethical/Empath, Delta/Beta
    RLUEI, Choleric/Melancholic
    Inquistive/Limbic
    AIS Holland code
    Researcher: VDI-P
    Dramatic>Sensitive>Serious

  8. #58
    Badoom~ Skyward's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by PinkPiranha View Post
    And we are envious of your cosmic minerals and therefore must lick them off like deranged butterflies from outer space.
    How about more like a cat? It's more of a stretch but I find being tongue-mauled by a cat less scary than being... proboscis-ed by giant alien butterflies.
    'Imperfection is beauty, madness is genius and its better to be absolutely ridiculous than absolutely boring.' - Marilyn Monroe

    This is who I am, escapist, paradise-seeker.
    -Nightwish

    Anthropology Major out of Hamline University. St. Paul, Minnesota.

  9. #59
    The Black Knight Domino's Avatar
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    Cats are predictable and overt about their people grooming habits and hence, are way less scary. Now, I've been chased by butterflies quite a lot in my life and I can only assume that I have a very high quality mineral content.
    eNFJ 4w3 sx/so 468 tritype
    Neutral Good
    EII-Fi subtype, Ethical/Empath, Delta/Beta
    RLUEI, Choleric/Melancholic
    Inquistive/Limbic
    AIS Holland code
    Researcher: VDI-P
    Dramatic>Sensitive>Serious

  10. #60
    Earth Exalted Thursday's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by PinkPiranha View Post
    My enfp sister told me last night that the Cyclops sunglasses were to protect people from what they THINK enfjs are like, not what we ARE like. I found that to be a very interesting statement.
    especially so - remember the Fe and vulnerability thing we discussed?
    the what they "think" vs. "are" is another mechanism to protect them from us

    "my heart has some dangerous neighborhoods, so beware where you try to go"
    Ani DiFranco
    I N V I C T U S

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