Pink, it's not fair to compare the frustrated ENFJ to good ESFJ or INFJ traits. Frustrated INFJs and ESFJs aren't pleasant to be around either. ESFJs for likely similar reasons as the ENFJ, and well, the INFJ for completely different reasons (despite the closeness in type).
I can't and won't argue against any of the points you made... but, I think the intensity of the negatives is the price that must be paid for the incredible positives that ENFJs bring in happier times.
Would it be nice to be able to choose what traits we have, and what prices we are willing to pay for them? Hell yeah! *shock collar buzzes Udog* But, that's not how it works out.
Life gives ENFJs incredible gifts to make our world better. They deserve some leeway during the unpleasant times, methinks.