[INFJ] Where to find an INFJ?

[MrME]

exactly!

I have a lot of experience with it.

 

[professor goodstain]

You've experienced the "fight or flight" feeling, right? That's what it's like. Your nerves are on-end, your heart is racing, and your mind is cranking a million miles an hour, but really thinking about nothing.

That's actually one of the most prolific circumstances in triggering thinking. In those situations, estimations and assessments flow at their highest potential.

 

[AphroditeGoneAwry]

I have a lot of experience with it.

i just avoid the phone if possible....dontcha love texting? course nothing is like hearing a nice voice........

 

[Udog]

Why go to a party if you don't want to talk? I definitely won't pursue him anymore now, I gave it that shot and I think I'm over it. I could only imagine the cycle this would have created if he did that to a woman who was also shy or insecure or whatever...

Oh boy. *recalls youth* I think the longest I drew it out was with the INFJ that I've already talked about before. That lasted two years. Two years that amounted to essentially nothing.

It sucked, but I'm kinda glad I went through that... because that's what it took for me to learn the lesson to not do that crap!

That's sweet and encouraging, but what should I do if he won't call me or talk to me when he sees me? I can only do so much... And then it makes me wonder what could possibly even come out of something like this. If he's too scared to call me, I'll be freaking the hell out of him sooner or later, right?

Very possibly. It sort of depends, though, on if he's correctly summed you up and is just intimidated - or if he's idealizing you.

I find it reasonable to expect him to make the next move.

And why is a party so bad for an introvert? What are you there for, if not to meet people?

A) Friend dragged me.
B) Introverted friend dragged me because extroverted friend dragged them.
C) Designated driver
D) I secretly wanted to go but pretended to let the friend talk me into it.

*) For him, he may have gone because he knew you would be there.

I don't go to parties to really meet people though. I do go to parties to have fun, and usually do make some very enjoyable brief connections with super alcoholic-induced friendly people... but I find it's hard to find the type of connection I'm looking for at most parties.

 

[MrME]

That's actually one of the most prolific circumstances in triggering thinking. In those situations, estimations and assessments flow at their highest potential.

Really? Because I usually just collapse underneath it, and I hate it.

 

[MrME]

i just avoid the phone if possible....dontcha love texting? course nothing is like hearing a nice voice........

Texting is always preferred. I communicate more easily through writing, anyway.

 

[professor goodstain]

Really? Because I usually just collapse underneath it, and I hate it.

Not so bad really. INFJs can be found at bear attack survivor conventions. Some other types will not be attending. As to they are the ones that tried to assess the situation After all, what do you do when you assess? You make an ass out of an a and an e.

 

[digesthisickness]

jeno, i just chase them carefully.

getting their AIM or yahoo messenger helps a LOT as they can take their time responding and it helps with the shyness. especially if you tell them you're doing 'laundry' or whatever at the same time, so if it takes them a while, it's fine.

 

[jenocyde]

HAHAHHAHAHA!!!!! are you serious? you are crackin me up. a month is nothing to me!! a month just sweetens thangs. are entps a tad impatient? or am i too lax?

A month feels like forever, especially since there's no way we can even know if we like each other unless we talk...

You've experienced the "fight or flight" feeling, right? That's what it's like. Your nerves are on-end, your heart is racing, and your mind is cranking a million miles an hour, but really thinking about nothing.

All that from just thinking about talking to a girl? Wow, ok I get it now. It seems even more strange and foreign that before but at least I can identify the feeling. But the question is why???

 

[MrME]

Why go to a party if you don't want to talk?

I can only speak for myself, but I've attended many parties simply because I felt obligated. You know, a good extraverted friend's birthday, and you don't want them to think you've got a problem with them or anything, so you reluctantly agree to go.

I definitely won't pursue him anymore now, I gave it that shot and I think I'm over it. I could only imagine the cycle this would have created if he did that to a woman who was also shy or insecure or whatever...

This is a wise stance to take. If he's really shy, then you may never get anywhere with him. If you want a suggestion, though: If you have any mutual friends, you might see if you could fenaggle a SMALL gathering, like four or five people, and meet him that way. It might be easier for him to talk to you in that situation. No guarantees, of course.

And you're right, his behavior could easily be misread by somebody else who is insecure. I've been guilty of that a number of times, myself, and the guilt I heap upon myself when it happens ... ooof.

 

[Sentura]

try going to a psychologist.

 

[jenocyde]

That's actually one of the most prolific circumstances in triggering thinking. In those situations, estimations and assessments flow at their highest potential.

I love those moments. I am at my highest potential and experience great clarity and precision.

I find it reasonable to expect him to make the next move

...

I don't go to parties to really meet people though. I do go to parties to have fun, and usually do make some very enjoyable brief connections with super alcoholic-induced friendly people... but I find it's hard to find the type of connection I'm looking for at most parties.

Yes, he should make a move now, dammit!
(and I meant meet up with people, not cruise for people or anything. just talking and being social with friends and their friends. and of course, the dancing!)

Texting is always preferred. I communicate more easily through writing, anyway.

No. There is nothing more insulting to me than a man who texts me for a date.

jeno, i just chase them carefully.

getting their AIM or yahoo messenger helps a LOT as they can take their time responding and it helps with the shyness. especially if you tell them you're doing 'laundry' or whatever at the same time, so if it takes them a while, it's fine.

This seems almost ridiculous at this point. I'm almost positive he's an INFJ (sorry for hijacking the thread, but it's relevant ) and now that I finally got one, I can't lose... um, I mean I want to see what will happen. But there are just too many rules. I'm afraid to make a noise for fear of him scattering away. IMing is just not my thing. Oh well. Ok, I'll give it another week or two...

And if this moves so slowly, is everything expected to take this long? If I like him, should I wait before I kiss him? (because I fully expect to be the one who has to make the move )

 

[MrME]

No. There is nothing more insulting to me than a man who texts me for a date.

I didn't mean texting for a date, specifically. I just meant texting is preferred in general over speaking on the phone. Of course you would be insulted, that seems like common sense to me.

Wait, have you actually had men ask you out through text messaging??

 

[Tallulah]

A) Friend dragged me.
B) Introverted friend dragged me because extroverted friend dragged them.
C) Designated driver
D) I secretly wanted to go but pretended to let the friend talk me into it.

*) For him, he may have gone because he knew you would be there.

Yep, that's why. I rarely want to go to parties. Usually, I'm just dragged there by a friend, and if I end up having fun, I'm pleasantly surprised.

 

[Ulaes]

Actually I'm terrified to be around my friends alone,

what?

umm.. alone as in, unconnected (welcome to intp land!) and/or unprotected by a buffer?
aren't you comfortable with any of your friends?

because I feel like I have to be entertaining. So no it's actually similar, heh...

i think i may know what you mean, anyway...mabye.

i hear that you need a buffer. me too, occasionally even with my entp bff. i enjoy silences too much that i have to stop them from stealing me away from the present moment lest the other people get bored. but then i'm bored.

 

[jenocyde]

Wait, have you actually had men ask you out through text messaging??

Too often to count. It's ridiculous. Just recently I met a guy and we hit it off. Since he's gotten my number - not one phone call. Then he has the nerve to ask me for my blackberry pin for msgr because texting takes too long. I told him to mail me a letter. :steam:

 

[MrME]

Too often to count. It's ridiculous. Just recently I met a guy and we hit it off. Since he's gotten my number - not one phone call. Then he has the nerve to ask me for my blackberry pin for msgr because texting takes too long. I told him to mail me a letter. :steam:

:lol:

Hey, jenocyde, what's your Ham Radio frequency?

Edit: There's no LOL smiley??!

 

[Ulaes]

as for infjs, they're in the library aile behind you... watching

 

[Ulaes]

:lol:

Edit: There's no LOL smiley??!

how embrassing

 

[marmandahalf]

HAHAHHAHAHA!!!!! are you serious? you are crackin me up. a month is nothing to me!! a month just sweetens thangs. are entps a tad impatient? or am i too lax?

Oh gosh, a *month*? I couldn't wait a month for anything. Without more input, I get bored of an idea within days...or hours....