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  1. #21
    Earth Exalted Thursday's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by jenocyde View Post
    What is shyness for 200
    To be shy is to want to seek the person(s) out, but not have the courage
    I N V I C T U S

  2. #22
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tallulah View Post
    I am also curious as to why all the hype with INFJs. Not that y'all aren't awesome. It's just that there is a disproportional amount of INFJ curiosity on these boards, it seems.

    I get that impression as well. Yeah, people. Don't you get that you've been sucked into a collective craze? The Loch Ness Monster, the Bigfoot and now...the INFJ? Are INFJs the myth of the 21st century?

  3. #23
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sky is BLUE! View Post
    Are INFJs the myth of the 21st century?
    The 21st century will be one of the INFJ!

  4. #24
    half mystic, half skeksis jenocyde's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Thursday View Post
    To be shy is to want to seek the person(s) out, but not have the courage
    I always wonder what you think could happen possibly happen - rejection? If you smile at her, and she smiles at you, wouldn't it be reasonable to assume that she would not reject you?

    Also, would you be receptive to a woman approaching you, or would you try to find a way to walk away as well?

    To answer the question about the INFJ fascination:
    I am curious about INxJs because these are the two types I'm most unfamiliar with. I dated 2 INTJs (I'm pretty sure they were, at least) and they still remain as much of a mystery to me. One exhibited extremely abnormal behavior that kept me very intrigued. I have a good INFJ male friend and he's more guarded than the Pentagon. It's no mystery why an ENTP would be curious about them.

  5. #25
    Seriously Delirious Udog's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by aphrodite-gone-awry View Post
    what's all this hype with infjs? are we really all that?
    First, yes - INFJs are more often than not all that.

    Second, I think ENTP / INFJ has the potential to be a very solid matchup.

    Having said that, I think the rarity of the INFJ makes it very tempting for ENTPs to idealize the relationship potential, while making it very challenging to actually test it out. The ENTP love for challenge then takes over, enabling them to diminish the very legitimate issues that the INFJ/ENTP couple may face.

    Quote Originally Posted by jenocyde View Post
    I'm very curious about what it means to be shy (not introverted), it's something so foreign to me and I want to understand it.
    Intellectually, it's a fear that hits someone in certain social situations. The fear can come from several potential things: overprotective parents, negative social experiences, lack of confidence and self-worth, etc. The fear paralyzes or diminishes the ability to think straight, which in turn diminishes the ability to converse naturally, speak clearly, and use healthy, confident body language. Also, an introvert will have less experience or is less likely to know what 'protocols' to robotically follow to push past their uncertainty. Naturally, this causes the other person to react adversely.

    A negative feedback cycle is then created, as the shy person only gets punished for trying to overcome the fear.

    There are many things you do that can leverage the uncontrolled adrenaline fear brings. Sadly, the subtle art of interpersonal communication isn't so much one of them.

  6. #26
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    Quote Originally Posted by jenocyde View Post
    I always wonder what you think could happen possibly happen - rejection? If you smile at her, and she smiles at you, wouldn't it be reasonable to assume that she would not reject you?
    That's not really the issue with us. As introverts, we live primarily inside ourselves, and having to venture outside that can be quite daunting - even when you know full well nothing bad will actually happen.

    Of course over time we can develop our abilities to interact with others to a considerable extent - to the point we can sometimes be mistaken for Extroverts.

    This is true in my case. It's easier now for me to overcome my shyness than it was when I was younger, but it still doesn't change the fact that my innate instincts move in the opposite direction.

    Also, would you be receptive to a woman approaching you, or would you try to find a way to walk away as well?
    Depends. Usually I'd try to carry on a conversation as best I can. It's quite discomforting to me for anybody to approach me unexpectedly and then try to carry on a discussion with them. This is so even with friends. Although this is mostly true when my original intention was to have some quiet time by myself.

  7. #27
    half mystic, half skeksis jenocyde's Avatar
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    I think we all have moments of shyness but I've always wondered what it's like to think like that on an everyday basis. I guess I'm curious now because there is this guy that I see often and he never speaks to me but I can feel his eyes on the back of my neck. We have mutual friends and they tell me that he's always asking about me. Because I can't stand waiting (!!), I approached him at a party and he just about blanched. I swore that I would never make that mistake with him again and decided he wasn't worth my energy. But the next day a friend said that I was all he could talk about after I left - analyzing and rehashing our 15 min conversation over and over.

    The fact that he was at a party and has other friends makes me think that he doesn't have a social anxiety, so I guess this is what being shy looks like? How do you get past this point with someone like that...

  8. #28
    failure to thrive AphroditeGoneAwry's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by marmandahalf View Post
    You for sure are. I me some INFJ.
    why, pray tell? :confused:
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    The more one loves God, the more it is that having nothing in the world means everything, and the less one loves God, the more it is that having everything in the world means nothing.

    Do not resist an evil person, but to him who strikes you on the one cheek, offer also the other. ~Matthew 5:39

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  9. #29
    failure to thrive AphroditeGoneAwry's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by jenocyde View Post
    I think we all have moments of shyness but I've always wondered what it's like to think like that on an everyday basis. I guess I'm curious now because there is this guy that I see often and he never speaks to me but I can feel his eyes on the back of my neck. We have mutual friends and they tell me that he's always asking about me. Because I can't stand waiting (!!), I approached him at a party and he just about blanched. I swore that I would never make that mistake with him again and decided he wasn't worth my energy. But the next day a friend said that I was all he could talk about after I left - analyzing and rehashing our 15 min conversation over and over.

    The fact that he was at a party and has other friends makes me think that he doesn't have a social anxiety, so I guess this is what being shy looks like? How do you get past this point with someone like that...
    sounds like he's got the hots for ya. will you see him again soon? if so, i'd just send him some eye contact--once or twice-give him a chance to walk up to you. if he doesn't, slowly work your way over there. he'll be more ready for conversing the second time around. he's probably been kicking himself ever since the first time!

    it takes me many times to 'get it right' with people that i am attracted to cuz i'm already so damn nervous i can't be myself. isn't it like that for you?
    Ni/Ti/Fe/Si
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    The more one loves God, the more it is that having nothing in the world means everything, and the less one loves God, the more it is that having everything in the world means nothing.

    Do not resist an evil person, but to him who strikes you on the one cheek, offer also the other. ~Matthew 5:39

    songofmary.wordpress.com


  10. #30
    Seriously Delirious Udog's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by jenocyde View Post
    I think we all have moments of shyness but I've always wondered what it's like to think like that on an everyday basis. I guess I'm curious now because there is this guy that I see often and he never speaks to me but I can feel his eyes on the back of my neck. We have mutual friends and they tell me that he's always asking about me. Because I can't stand waiting (!!), I approached him at a party and he just about blanched. I swore that I would never make that mistake with him again and decided he wasn't worth my energy. But the next day a friend said that I was all he could talk about after I left - analyzing and rehashing our 15 min conversation over and over.

    The fact that he was at a party and has other friends makes me think that he doesn't have a social anxiety, so I guess this is what being shy looks like? How do you get past this point with someone like that...
    Honestly, it may be more work than it's worth. For one thing, he's obsessing about you before he really knows you. That always scares me a bit. Does he like what he's observed about you, or does he like the ideal of you he's created? Which is he intimidated by?

    I'd definitely say he's introverted - capable of being perfectly normal, perhaps even really funny and cool, to his friends, but completely sucking at being around strangers. Is this dude an INFP? Regardless, introverts aren't compelled to overcome shyness, because we don't need people all that much, so the shyness can persist.

    How to get to a shy person? Persistence helps. Talk to him, and leave before the conversation completely dies out if it's going nowhere. Do it again next time you see him. He'll likely think of something to say in between. Finding a topic of their passion is always good - something that lets them forget they are talking to a girl they crush on and lets them play to a strength. Ask the friend if there's any topics he won't shut up about, and work the conversation towards it when you talk to him.

    If he's a shy person that wants to be drawn out of his shell, it won't take much. If he's a shy person that fights you - then forget about it unless he's really hot and the fact that introverts are usually great in bed compels you.

    Edit - oh yeah! If he's introvert the party atmosphere isn't going to be his thing. Something quieter and more intimate will be much more effective in drawing him out of his shell.

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