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  1. #11
    Senior Member sculpting's Avatar
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    i would guess you could see a few things. ( i am a totally odd, screwed up, warped enfp myself)

    1. version 1-they are really sensitive, creative, a little silly, not good at long term planning or follow through, and think thinkers are kinda mean at times. Also dependent on others opinions , and too passive. Prone to being a bit moody, overly excitable, and prone to getting pissed pretty easily. sweet and affectionate though. I think this is pretty normal and is a sign of growing your Te as you get older and mature. really wonderful and beautiful as they grow up.

    2. Version two-These folks follow the pattern that Lennorre thompson calls out-They overuse tertiary Te in a defensive fashion and underdevelop Fi. They (me ) can appear moody as I switch from Te to Fi when interacting with the same person at different times. I am structuerd and can get lots of work done but I can appear bossy, bitchy, cold if I am insecure or not open to interacting with others. I project a very secure wall and have learned to be very tough when needed. My Fi wobbles a lot though and is very, very sensitive to criticism. If I open myself to others and let them play with Fi, my soul, and they become agressive, it hurts profoundly and i lash out.

    "blaze to amaze". However I think by using Te to block feeling potential pain, I also block some amount of happiness, so I am left feeling neutral and flat or even empty and emotionless at times. If I feel I am under attack I will often not interpret motivation correctly. Fi sees the "attack" but cannot effectively judge what the cause is. I need to practice using Fi.

    3. Version 3-I was here much of my childhood/teen years. I go here under profound stress once or twice a year nowdays for a day or two before I snap out of it. I totally shut everyone out in the crappiest INFJ doorslam ever . It is usually prompted by feelings of rejection or total emotionally being overwhlemed. So I lash backwards, sever all connections with the world and hunker down. I isolate myself from the rest of the world behind huge walls and am impervious to what they say or do, but am utterly alone. Now that I recoginize the pattern I can choose not to move in this direction. I spent much of my childhood here and didnt learn to talk to others conversationally till I started waiting tables in high school. If you look at the leftover functions after Ne, Fi, Te, Si, you are basically left with a shadow personality of an INFJ, so perhaps I used this as a protective front.

    I have seen myself move from the third version from my childhood and teens, to the second version from say 16 to 28 and now I am growing towards the first version (or perhaps a healthy enfp) since about 28 to 32.

    Nowdays I spend likely 60%/40% Te over Fi. Only occasional visits to the dark land. I wonder if borderline personality disorder is not fluttering between these three states constantly.

  2. #12
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    Quote Originally Posted by Amargith View Post
    Often it is rough for young ENFPs to be themselves and show it to the world, as it our quirkiness is frowned upon, which is something we're incredibly sensitive to. So we adapt to what society wants from us, or we try at least and often fail. Show us that you accept us for who we are without judgement..and we'll gladly show you more. In fact, it will be a relief to be able to be ourselves.
    That's the second picture change in a week, is there something wrong?

  3. #13
    The High Priestess Amargith's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by mortabunt View Post
    That's the second picture change in a week, is there something wrong?
    ★ڿڰۣ✿ℒoѵℯ✿ڿڰۣ★





    "Harm none, do as ye will”

  4. #14
    half mystic, half skeksis jenocyde's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by cheerchick23 View Post
    what would an "underdeveloped" enfp look/act like? probably needy/clingy/lazy etc. but i want more details and more thoughts.
    Underdeveloped/unhealthy ENFP:

    Quote Originally Posted by jenocyde View Post
    I recently, very unfortunately, ended a profitable relationship with a business partner because she was too damn emotional. I love her to death, but working with her was a nightmare. I was never allowed to say anything, for fear it was a personal attack. The minute she read anything remotely negative by email, she would flip out and come to all sorts of conclusions about what I was trying to say. Well, I never try to say anything - I just say it. She imagined the worst case scenario at every step. If I tell her that next time, she should let me know if a certain supplier has a certain deal, she took that as me saying she was ineffective and inefficient. If I told her that she looks good today, she'll take that as me meaning she didn't look good yesterday. When she would call me and cry, I would explain what I meant. Then later when she calmed down, she would call and apologize because after re-reading, she realized it wasn't actually bad in the first place. This would happen almost on a daily basis. I would rearrange my words for hours on a daily basis before sending her emails, to no avail. No matter what I said or did, her first reaction was offense. We would waste countless hours each day dealing with this. When she had problems with me, she would never tell me, making the problem quadruple in her mind to the point where she was calling Dr. Laura or whoever that radio personality is on a weekly basis. But she never told me - her excuse: she prefers harmony. Well, how harmonious is dishonesty and secret resentments? I ended the partnership last week. She has called me every day since then crying and wondering why it was over. No matter what I say, she won't hear me. She imagines what she believes to be the truth and refuses to face reality. If she asks, and I answer, she will just add her own color to it and go off on tangents. So I have to use stronger words, so she gets it. Then that starts a whole new cycle of tears because I am so mean... She lives in her own fantasy world. And all the hours on the phone doing crisis management, she thinks that was productive and she still can't understand why this stresses me out and makes me want to sever ties with her. Because she refuses to hear me, I must be quite aggressive with my words - so there is no misinterpretation. And this is when the tears start again. I have no patience at this point because I have tried and failed, so the tears seem like a tactic to make me concede or feel bad. This sort of manipulation irritates me to no end. She wouldn't have been hurt if she had just listened in the first place.
    She is the most forgetful person I have ever encountered. If she asked me a question, I could see her mind drifting before I got three words out. Sure enough, she'd be back to ask me the same question in 10 minutes. I would snap at her after the 10th time of the day with the same damn question, and then she would use her undeveloped Te to explain exactly why I had "anger issues".

    She is a 38 year old woman stuck in "version 1" that Happy Puppy wrote about above.

    I could go on and on about how clingy she is, but I think this is enough for now...

  5. #15
    Striving for balance Little Linguist's Avatar
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    1. version 1-they are really sensitive, creative, a little silly, not good at long term planning or follow through, and think thinkers are kinda mean at times. Also dependent on others opinions , and too passive. Prone to being a bit moody, overly excitable, and prone to getting pissed pretty easily. sweet and affectionate though. I think this is pretty normal and is a sign of growing your Te as you get older and mature. really wonderful and beautiful as they grow up.
    Ferk. I think that's me right now.

    2. Version two-These folks follow the pattern that Lennorre thompson calls out-They overuse tertiary Te in a defensive fashion and underdevelop Fi. They (me ) can appear moody as I switch from Te to Fi when interacting with the same person at different times. I am structuerd and can get lots of work done but I can appear bossy, bitchy, cold if I am insecure or not open to interacting with others. I project a very secure wall and have learned to be very tough when needed. My Fi wobbles a lot though and is very, very sensitive to criticism. If I open myself to others and let them play with Fi, my soul, and they become agressive, it hurts profoundly and i lash out.

    "blaze to amaze". However I think by using Te to block feeling potential pain, I also block some amount of happiness, so I am left feeling neutral and flat or even empty and emotionless at times. If I feel I am under attack I will often not interpret motivation correctly. Fi sees the "attack" but cannot effectively judge what the cause is. I need to practice using Fi.
    This was me in college. Even tested XNTJ (due to the Te Panzer Division sweeping everything away in one giant, massive assault).

    3. Version 3-I was here much of my childhood/teen years. I go here under profound stress once or twice a year nowdays for a day or two before I snap out of it. I totally shut everyone out in the crappiest INFJ doorslam ever . It is usually prompted by feelings of rejection or total emotionally being overwhlemed. So I lash backwards, sever all connections with the world and hunker down. I isolate myself from the rest of the world behind huge walls and am impervious to what they say or do, but am utterly alone. Now that I recoginize the pattern I can choose not to move in this direction. I spent much of my childhood here and didnt learn to talk to others conversationally till I started waiting tables in high school. If you look at the leftover functions after Ne, Fi, Te, Si, you are basically left with a shadow personality of an INFJ, so perhaps I used this as a protective front.
    No freaking way!!!! Me too (not that I'm proud of it - just relieved I wasn't the only one). Luckily, I got over this (though I still have this weird habit of breaking off contact to the world except work for certain periods of time in times of stress).

    I have seen myself move from the third version from my childhood and teens, to the second version from say 16 to 28 and now I am growing towards the first version (or perhaps a healthy enfp) since about 28 to 32.

    Nowdays I spend likely 60%/40% Te over Fi. Only occasional visits to the dark land.
    Dude, yes, yes, and yes!!! *breathes a sigh of relief* Okay, I'm not a the only one. Whew.
    If you are interested in language, words, linguistics, or foreign languages, check out my blog and read, post, and/or share.

  6. #16
    Senior Member sculpting's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Little Linguist View Post
    Dude, yes, yes, and yes!!! *breathes a sigh of relief* Okay, I'm not a the only one. Whew.
    Thanks Little, I have been feeling kinda alone lately so i am glad to hear this doesnt sound so out there. Wasnt sure if this was own brand of oddness or if it was an enfp theme. We can be odd together?

  7. #17
    Phoenix Incarnate Sentura's Avatar
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    I recently, very unfortunately, ended a profitable relationship with a business partner because she was too damn emotional. I love her to death, but working with her was a nightmare. I was never allowed to say anything, for fear it was a personal attack. The minute she read anything remotely negative by email, she would flip out and come to all sorts of conclusions about what I was trying to say. Well, I never try to say anything - I just say it. She imagined the worst case scenario at every step. If I tell her that next time, she should let me know if a certain supplier has a certain deal, she took that as me saying she was ineffective and inefficient. If I told her that she looks good today, she'll take that as me meaning she didn't look good yesterday. When she would call me and cry, I would explain what I meant. Then later when she calmed down, she would call and apologize because after re-reading, she realized it wasn't actually bad in the first place. This would happen almost on a daily basis. I would rearrange my words for hours on a daily basis before sending her emails, to no avail. No matter what I said or did, her first reaction was offense. We would waste countless hours each day dealing with this. When she had problems with me, she would never tell me, making the problem quadruple in her mind to the point where she was calling Dr. Laura or whoever that radio personality is on a weekly basis. But she never told me - her excuse: she prefers harmony. Well, how harmonious is dishonesty and secret resentments? I ended the partnership last week. She has called me every day since then crying and wondering why it was over. No matter what I say, she won't hear me. She imagines what she believes to be the truth and refuses to face reality. If she asks, and I answer, she will just add her own color to it and go off on tangents. So I have to use stronger words, so she gets it. Then that starts a whole new cycle of tears because I am so mean... She lives in her own fantasy world. And all the hours on the phone doing crisis management, she thinks that was productive and she still can't understand why this stresses me out and makes me want to sever ties with her. Because she refuses to hear me, I must be quite aggressive with my words - so there is no misinterpretation. And this is when the tears start again. I have no patience at this point because I have tried and failed, so the tears seem like a tactic to make me concede or feel bad. This sort of manipulation irritates me to no end. She wouldn't have been hurt if she had just listened in the first place.
    just to be clear - it's not always just what you say, it's also how you say it. i used to work with this guy, i reckon him an INTJ or INTP. he would never say anything bad, but everything good he said always seemed to have sarcastic undertones in his voice. it was a nightmare trying to figure out whether he meant it as sarcasm or whether it was genuine approval.

    working with him definitely tops in some of the worst experiences i have had with team mates.
    i hunt INXPs for bounty
    FUNCTION ORDER FOR THOSE THAT CANNOT UNDERSTAND WHAT ENXP MEANS: Ne > Ni > Fi=Ti > *

    ...people tell me i have wildfires in my eyes

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