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  1. #31
    WTF is this dude saying? A Schnitzel's Avatar
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    Isn't that what most NTs claim to want?
    Someone who understands them.
    Quote Originally Posted by prplchknz View Post
    sheesh humans! for realz

  2. #32
    ♪♫♪♫♪♫ luminous beam's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by simulatedworld View Post
    If you know you're better at something than most people, it's easy to get a big head about your own abilities.
    This is true. The best thing people can do, no matter what their type and no matter how good they are at something is: to not assume anything until you are as close to 100% certain as possible. Sure, trust your abilities, experiences and gut instincts to a degree, but no matter how much you think you know someone, human beings (overall) are unpredictable creatures. I hope you T and J types don't hate me for pinpointing the real probability for unpredictability or uncertainty, I know how you control freaks work lol (total sarcastic sentence )


  3. #33
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    Quote Originally Posted by simulatedworld View Post
    "I know you better than you know you" syndrome seems especially common among INFJs, moreso than other types

    Guilty as charged. I'm really trying to be more aware of it and avoid falling into that pitfall. Sometimes I succeed, sometimes I don't.



    As for the OP. I think you've actually answered your question. The emphasis is on the word think. It means that people (from your point of view, NFs) get too involved and caught up in something they think aka imagine about others.

    I can only speak for myself, but as I receive information about others, my mind starts to "solve the puzzle" and all the information goes through some kind of a filter and becomes altered in such a way that I'm only able to see IT, that is what I think i.e. imagine about others. Call me crazy

  4. #34
    darkened dreams labyrinthine's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Antisocial one View Post
    But since I am in the process of developing some level of extroversion I think I should understand NFs better if I plan to succeed.
    People are often trying to solve the problem of the unpredictability of other people by exhibiting behaviors that get consistent reactions or simplifying and/or making assumptions to understand people. I guess it helps to realize that even when people behave in a way that is intrusive, hurtful, disappointing, it can sometimes be their way of trying to be less alone and afraid of getting hurt by others. The positive thing is that people are quite diverse so they will both disappoint and pleasantly surprise us no matter how long we live or how much we manage to understand (or falsely assume to understand). And ha, this is just a hypothesis.
    Step into my metaphysical room of mirrors.
    Fear of reality creates myopic morality
    So I guess it means there is trouble until the robins come
    (from Blue Velvet)

    I want to be just like my mother, even if she is bat-shit crazy.

  5. #35
    Senior Member Lurker's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by A Schnitzel View Post
    Isn't that what most NTs claim to want?
    Someone who understands them.
    Yes, give me someone who understands me! That saves me a lot of explaining.

  6. #36
    にゃん runvardh's Avatar
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    Using only one source as the example for many can be quite counter productive. I suggest heading out there and just start communicating. The overly neurotic ones are the ones you don't want to bother with anyway.
    Dreams are best served manifest and tangible.

    INFP, 6w7, IEI

    I accept no responsibility, what so ever, for the fact that I exist; I do, however, accept full responsibility for what I do while I exist.

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  7. #37
    failure to thrive AphroditeGoneAwry's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Antisocial one View Post
    First I will say that I am not posting this as a provocation I am really interested in this topic. Also I know that Fs and Ts are very wide groups. So I will generalize. SFs are free to join the party as well.



    In many threads around this forum I have seen that NF claim soimething that goes in this direction and that they understand.
    For example typical claim is that we don't understand our own feelings.
    But in almost all cases you are "attacking" our feeling side or you just place focus on it. While you tend to overlook/ignore out thinking side on regular basis. Only if we have something interesting and/or controversial to show you will pay more attention.



    But in general you are not too interested in our thinking side and even if you are you are still more interested in our feelings.
    So I would really like to read your comments about this.


    On the other hand how can you fully understand someone if you "ignore" the largest part of them? So even if you understand our feelings you can't clearly understand how they are related to our thinking side. What means that you don't understand much actually.




    In real life it happened plenty of times that NFs are projecting their emotion on me since it seems logical that I am feeling the same as they do.
    So when I say that they are wrong I get accused that I am lying to them and myself.
    This does not happen always but it is not that much unusual. But if I start to explain myself I get something like "You need professional help."
    However I admit that when it comes to me personally that is not so crazy idea.


    Is it that really that hard to accept that a person does not feel over some period of time? (if we take classical everyday definition of feelings)
    i really like that you had the guts to start this thread. i deal with this with my husband all the time, unfortunately. he is intj, but with very strong 'Se' tendencies, so it's kinda like he's ixtj, but identifies more closely with the intj archetype.

    anyway, he does all of his processing internally in a logical fashion. he can arrive at the same place i will arrive, like, hours, months, or even years before i get there because i like to sift everything through my F to see how things feel--how i feel about a situation. however, because of my strong Fe, i can see when something bothers him or doesn't sit right with him, and THAT bothers me, even if it might just be a mild annoyance to him. you see, i don't know if it's a mild annoyance for him, or a huge annoyance for him because he chooses to keep it inside and deal with it on his own, or bury it until he blows. because i don't want to deal with occasional (or potential) blow-ups, i therefore put him through the INQUISITION. haha. you guys know what an nf inquisition is, right?

    during said inquisition, i KNOW that if we can just get to the root or heart of the problemo, namely what's causing him to be annoyed, we can identify and talk about the problem, and then solve the problem. but during this digging-for-his-feeling session, he gets frustrated, which makes me frustrated, and i might jump to conclusions about what is bothering him and might JUDGE his feelings (because i'm a j?), which irritates him, and makes him feel like his feelings are wrong and that i am laying blame. (which i am?) but know i shouldn't. perhaps, as i'm writing this, NT guys wouldn't have this problem as much with 'p' girls?

    during the inquisition, the suggestion to attend therapy is usually thrown in the mix (by me) at the height of my frustration with him for not being able to know his feeling about said thing, or my perception that he doesn't want to delve or understand that this issue might be unfair to me. to which he says he's not the one with the problem, and that if i want to go to therapy, go ahead.

    finally, when we are both worn out and on the verge of a big, crying (on my end) fight, something gives and he says, "that's what i said from the beginning." or, "why was it so impotant to 'air' those feelings?" and i stammer, "um, because it's just good for me to know what's going on in you head. otherwise i don't know." or "i dunno, i just want to hear what you're feeling."

    but secretly, i admire that he can apply logical thinking, and still function without always accessing how he 'feels' about things. he pretty much indulges me in my nf fantasies and feelings, for the most part.

    on the other hand, i'm in sync inside and out, and i've read intj are more likely to suffer from alcohol and drug abuse. and i wonder if it's not due to some of that repressed feeling business.......?

    hope this was helpful. i hate feeling like i've ranted for no reason.
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  8. #38
    resonance entropie's Avatar
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    I doesnt even understand which way to put my pullover on
    [URL]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tEBvftJUwDw&t=0s[/URL]

  9. #39
    ♪♫♪♫♪♫ luminous beam's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by aphrodite-gone-awry View Post
    i really like that you had the guts to start this thread. i deal with this with my husband all the time, unfortunately. he is intj, but with very strong 'Se' tendencies, so it's kinda like he's ixtj, but identifies more closely with the intj archetype.

    anyway, he does all of his processing internally in a logical fashion. he can arrive at the same place i will arrive, like, hours, months, or even years before i get there because i like to sift everything through my F to see how things feel--how i feel about a situation. however, because of my strong Fe, i can see when something bothers him or doesn't sit right with him, and THAT bothers me, even if it might just be a mild annoyance to him. you see, i don't know if it's a mild annoyance for him, or a huge annoyance for him because he chooses to keep it inside and deal with it on his own, or bury it until he blows. because i don't want to deal with occasional (or potential) blow-ups, i therefore put him through the INQUISITION. haha. you guys know what an nf inquisition is, right?

    during said inquisition, i KNOW that if we can just get to the root or heart of the problemo, namely what's causing him to be annoyed, we can identify and talk about the problem, and then solve the problem. but during this digging-for-his-feeling session, he gets frustrated, which makes me frustrated, and i might jump to conclusions about what is bothering him and might JUDGE his feelings (because i'm a j?), which irritates him, and makes him feel like his feelings are wrong and that i am laying blame. (which i am?) but know i shouldn't. perhaps, as i'm writing this, NT guys wouldn't have this problem as much with 'p' girls?

    during the inquisition, the suggestion to attend therapy is usually thrown in the mix (by me) at the height of my frustration with him for not being able to know his feeling about said thing, or my perception that he doesn't want to delve or understand that this issue might be unfair to me. to which he says he's not the one with the problem, and that if i want to go to therapy, go ahead.

    finally, when we are both worn out and on the verge of a big, crying (on my end) fight, something gives and he says, "that's what i said from the beginning." or, "why was it so impotant to 'air' those feelings?" and i stammer, "um, because it's just good for me to know what's going on in you head. otherwise i don't know." or "i dunno, i just want to hear what you're feeling."

    but secretly, i admire that he can apply logical thinking, and still function without always accessing how he 'feels' about things. he pretty much indulges me in my nf fantasies and feelings, for the most part.

    on the other hand, i'm in sync inside and out, and i've read intj are more likely to suffer from alcohol and drug abuse. and i wonder if it's not due to some of that repressed feeling business.......?

    hope this was helpful. i hate feeling like i've ranted for no reason.
    thumbs up to the inquisition lol


  10. #40
    No Cigar Litvyak's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Antisocial one View Post
    I am not really frustrated since my communication with them are very limited.
    So I am asking things that are true and which are not true so that I can come to an understnding which one is which.
    If you're really that interested, perhaps you should... live a little? You know, go out and get to know them? Random internet strangers won't ever give you satisfactory answers, they can help, but the rest is up to you. You should experience AND analyze things.
    If you really are interested, that is.

    Why not visiting a party, where you can observe NFs and develop your communication skills with them? (I don't know where exactly you live, but I'm truly in love with croatian landscapes - it's summer, and the sea is propably close to your location, you should make the best of this huge advantage)

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