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  1. #21
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    Everybody thinks. Everybody feels. Just because someone has one fuction more dominent than another doesn't mean that the person just doesn't have the ability to understand the other perspective.

    Nobody is restricted by their 4 letter type into only being able to understand their own view on the world..

  2. #22
    Shaman BlackCat's Avatar
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    I think I understand NTs because of the N. I understand intuitively where they are coming from, thus giving us similar perspectives in certain areas. I learned quickly from being around NTs and Ts in general all my life that they don't judge things in a similar way that I do, and I've accepted this. I know that we aren't the same. I can't understand a person through their personality type until I've interacted with the person really, since there are so many variations, but there are recurring traits in people of types. But through observation, interaction and research I've found some similar traits among people of certain types, so yes, over time I think I have gotten to understand NTs.
    () 9w8-3w4-7w6 tritype.

    sCueI (primary Inquisition)

  3. #23
    にゃん runvardh's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Athenian200 View Post
    We might sometimes think we understand NTs because their behavior is fairly predictable in some situations.

    Do we think we understand their feelings? No, no one can really understand another person's feelings perfectly, so there are naturally going to be misunderstandings when we misread an emotional signal emitted by an NT.

    We don't think we understand them, we just try to understand them using the tools we have.
    Especially when we give a shit about you.
    Dreams are best served manifest and tangible.

    INFP, 6w7, IEI

    I accept no responsibility, what so ever, for the fact that I exist; I do, however, accept full responsibility for what I do while I exist.

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  4. #24
    Aspie Idealist TaylorS's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Antisocial one View Post
    Here is my main problem with NFs.
    All of this sounds quite well/nice on "paper" but in reality things are not that ideal. Since if you emotionally charge NF, their approach will change for quite a bit.


    So once they are OK with it but tomorrow they are not. Also they can get angry at you because you don't follow their state of mind. Which is because NT was unafected by a course of events ? (at least not emotionally).

    When I am dealing with NFs the only real problem is when they get emotional.
    For example when they are angry they expect to argue you with you. But if you remain calm like nothing happened they will explode completely.


    Why you can't use same logic/approach every day if you understand the person ?
    Or this has nothing do with us since you are just venting or something like that?

    I don't know about other NTs but I have experianced this more then once.



    I am not saying that NTs don't do this sa well from time to time but this is much more expressed in NFs. Also I think that genders play a role in this.


    Don't overlook the fact that many people don't know what MBTI is.
    You are probably seeing the typical T/F "going over each other's heads" situation. The T doesn't get why their calm reason is pissing people off while us Fs perceive that "calm reason" as "not caring".

    I have noticed that many Ts never seem to get that trying to talk to an upset F by giving calm, reasonable advice is a recipe for a train wreck.
    Autistic INFP


  5. #25
    Freshman Member simulatedworld's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lauren Ashley View Post
    I've never noticed that NFs proclaim to understand NTs, as a whole. Got specific examples?
    Have you not noticed the certain NFs who think they understand everything about everyone?
    If you could be anything you want, I bet you'd be disappointed--am I right?

  6. #26
    Revelation Lauren Ashley's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by simulatedworld View Post
    Have you not noticed the certain NFs who think they understand everything about everyone?
    I really hadn't. I guess I never saw it that way. But I'm getting a better idea of this phenomenon from this thread and other discussions. It seems like the NFs are not aware of how they are coming across.

  7. #27
    Freshman Member simulatedworld's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lauren Ashley View Post
    I really hadn't. I guess I never saw it that way. But I'm getting a better idea of this phenomenon from this thread and other discussions. It seems like the NFs are not aware of how they are coming across.
    It's a function of overconfidence in one's known areas of strength, which is something that affects most people at some point.

    Just as NTs have trouble accepting when their logical analysis is wrong, NFs have trouble accepting the limitations of their "reads" on the emotions and motivations of others.

    If you know you're better at something than most people, it's easy to get a big head about your own abilities. There are parallels for SPs and SJs here too; I'm sure you can put them together.

    But I can tell you from experience that numerous NFs have attempted to "emotion-read" me, come up with a mostly or entirely inaccurate explanation, and then sworn up and down that I was lying and/or in denial about my own thoughts and feelings. Good thing random strangers on an internet forum can psychoanalyze me with PhD level accuracy, huh?

    "I know you better than you know you" syndrome seems especially common among INFJs, moreso than other types, but it's something NFs in general could stand to work on.
    If you could be anything you want, I bet you'd be disappointed--am I right?

  8. #28
    Revelation Lauren Ashley's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by simulatedworld View Post
    "I know you better than you know you" syndrome seems especially common among INFJs, moreso than other types, but it's something NFs in general could stand to work on.
    Really? I don't think I suffer from this. Even if I thought I knew someone well, I could never profess to know them better than they know themselves. Furthermore, I generally keep my insights to myself unless asked.

  9. #29
    Queen hunter Virtual ghost's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Elaur View Post
    I don't think I understand YOU. I don't think, logically, you can deduce any conclusions about how I, or other NFs, understand other NTs. Or how other NTs feel about it.

    You seem very close minded and frustrated with NFs. I think back on another thread where people were surmising that you aren't actually an NT at all. It puts an interesting spin on your threads.


    Nope, I am just working with what I have, nothing more.
    I am not really frustrated since my communication with them are very limited.
    So I am asking things that are true and which are not true so that I can come to an understnding which one is which.



    And I don't want to ask too direct question since I am not sure how correct answer I will get. Since NFs have the tendency to be moody. By this I mean that you have the tendency to distrort things to smooth things out.
    But I know that there is no guarantee that this is right approach as well.


    But, I guess I have created enough attention that I can try more direct approach now. Since this is becoming counter productive because I am triggering hostility.



    The fact is that I have 0 friends and all people I was able to relate were Ts.
    So my knwoledge about the "other side" was pretty much zero until I came here. It could sound wierd but I have a huge holes in knowledge when it comes to this.


    All the bad examples I am/was using about NFs are just my mothers neurotic attacks that happened over 10 years ago.
    But since I am in the process of developing some level of extroversion I think I should understand NFs better if I plan to succsed.

    Does this make sense to you ?




    Btw. Did you ever read some of my posts/threads in political, spiritual or scientific forum?

  10. #30
    Member 7thsomebody's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Antisocial one View Post
    First I will say that I am not posting this as a provocation I am really interested in this topic. Also I know that Fs and Ts are very wide groups. So I will generalize. SFs are free to join the party as well.



    In many threads around this forum I have seen that NF claim soimething that goes in this direction and that they understand.
    For example typical claim is that we don't understand our own feelings.
    But in almost all cases you are "attacking" our feeling side or you just place focus on it. While you tend to overlook/ignore out thinking side on regular basis. Only if we have something interesting and/or controversial to show you will pay more attention.



    But in general you are not too interested in our thinking side and even if you are you are still more interested in our feelings.
    So I would really like to read your comments about this.


    On the other hand how can you fully understand someone if you "ignore" the largest part of them? So even if you understand our feelings you can't clearly understand how they are related to our thinking side. What means that you don't understand much actually.




    In real life it happened plenty of times that NFs are projecting their emotion on me since it seems logical that I am feeling the same as they do.
    So when I say that they are wrong I get accused that I am lying to them and myself.
    This does not happen always but it is not that much unusual. But if I start to explain myself I get something like "You need professional help."
    However I admit that when it comes to me personally that is not so crazy idea.


    Is it that really that hard to accept that a person does not feel over some period of time? (if we take classical everyday definition of feelings)
    I am an ENFP. My older sister is an INTJ. I would say that I understand her pretty well, we are close as sisters and there are only two years between us. I think you will actually find that most NFs ARE fascinated and interested in the thinking side of NTs, such objective clarity does not come naturally to the NF and hence we do find it fascinating. NFs are given to being emotional so it is impressive to give it a juvenile title, and admirable to see NTs naturally cool demeanour. Given that NTs are neither keen nor comfortable when it comes to openness particularly about their feelings, it makes sense surely the the NF would want to draw that out. NFs are used to expressing their feelings thus when faced with someone who doesn't and not because they are deliberately holding back simply because they do not find it natural to do so, an NF will understandably want to probe. Most, not all NFs pride interpersonal relationships above almost all else, and to truly understand someone, one has to know more than just what someone is thinking and how their mind works, you have to know how they are feeling to understand their heart. I am not saying NTs must show all their cards, but I am simply saying that as an NF, whose sister is an NT, i know what NTs and NFs are like in some respects and how their minds works. it is slightly disparaging of you to suggest that NFs are not interested in thinking. If anything I am able to analyse things impartially and not all NFs display the characteristic trait of being emotional and subjective.

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