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  1. #191
    darkened dreams labyrinthine's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by bluemonday View Post
    Then a handful of NFs decided to hijack the thread to complain about their feelings of inferiority. Thats the only upset I'm seeing here.
    If this refers to comments about power imbalances based on T and F stereotypes, I can only speak for myself, but upset is not the right word. On one hand I find it interesting to deal with this sort of power dynamic because I learn a great deal from it and can apply it in situations where I belong to the dominant social group. Assuming an emotion is present in this instance is much like the miscommunication described in the OP. It is useful to experience these things from both vantage points. Inaccurately assuming the presence of emotion in another person is quite easy to do - even for Ts.

    Quote Originally Posted by Night View Post
    This is an interesting point, Amargith.

    Does familiarity with emotion necessarily presume vulnerability to emotion?

    Could it be conversely argued that comfort with emotional expression should instead permeate a sense of resilience, and not susceptibility?
    I find it has both effects in a way, but overall produces more resilience. It makes me more immediately aware of an emotional response, but if a person possesses skill at problem solving, in this case emotional problem solving, then having access to good information, it aids in the ability to regulate emotion. My level of emotional tolerance is quite high. I have many systems of regulating emotion and only a couple of areas which I have not mastered that typically related to some physiological issues. This is in part because I have high emotional intelligence, but also my profession as a performer requires emotional regulation to an extreme degree, so I have had to deliberately practice it. If I find out a loved one has died, but the concert is tonight, I have had to learn to refocus in the present and express the emotion required for the performance and then find the right time to address the personal hurt. I love that I am emotionally tough.

    Edit: If emotions are seen as something that causes personal weakness, the tendency is to either ignore them or to fixate on them. What makes emotions into something other than a weakness is the ability to just take them straight on and not think of them as being a big deal. They are just a natural bodily functions that come and go.
    Step into my metaphysical room of mirrors.
    Fear of reality creates myopic morality
    So I guess it means there is trouble until the robins come
    (from Blue Velvet)

  2. #192
    Queen hunter Virtual ghost's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by bluemonday View Post


    I don't think you have gone too far. I think you still have a long way to go. You have simply neglected your emotional life. It isn't necessary to choose one or the other. Both are important. Perhaps the neglect came first and the obsession with logic is symptomatic, rather than causal?
    That was a just a figure of speech.
    Actually I am like this since birth and I am pretty sure this is not caused by some traumatic event.
    Obsession is emotion.(just saying)

  3. #193
    meh Salomé's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Antisocial one View Post
    Obsession is emotion.
    Precisely. (Well, not exactly, but it is driven by it).

    I wasn't thinking about a traumatic event.
    Quote Originally Posted by Ivy View Post
    Gosh, the world looks so small from up here on my high horse of menstruation.

  4. #194
    Queen hunter Virtual ghost's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by bluemonday View Post
    Precisely. (Well, not exactly, but it is driven by it).

    I wasn't thinking about a traumatic event.
    That depends on how you classify things in this matters.
    But I can see your point.

  5. #195
    Aspie Idealist TaylorS's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by jenocyde View Post
    Puppy, I don't know... I'm just saying that I have never presumed to know what someone was thinking or feeling before. And I have never been told what I am feeling and had that assessment been correct.

    A lot of it is also the fact that it seems people are just looking for emotions to have something to talk about. I don't know if I'm explaining this correctly, but it seems with my girlfriends, fun is talking about things that bother you? Trying to evoke an emotional response or something...? Is this your way of bonding? I don't really understand (and don't presume to ). If something is bothering me, I'll talk about it with whomever is physically closest to me at that moment (but this does not mean that we are now "best friends", ok?). But once I think it through, it's over. So when you see me every day, you don't need to keep asking me if I'm fine. Because I am. Trust me, I would know.

    Whatever - there are things about me that annoy you guys too, so it's a give and take. But the question was asked, so...
    OMG, that bolded part is SO me it's not funny!
    Autistic INFP


  6. #196
    The High Priestess Amargith's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by jenocyde View Post
    I don't understand this extremity. Why does there have to be a divide or a need to work something out? If I don't care about every single subtle (possibly irrational) emotion, does this then mean that we can't get along? Or that I am incapable of "connecting" with others?

    Also are you talking about being insensitive to one's own emotions, or to those of others?
    I said that's how I do it. Did I say that just because you don't work that way, you're doing it wrong?

    Being in tune with someone elses emotions just increases the bond and your insights into who they really. This in turn tones down misunderstandings and miscommunications and promotes harmony. Which is my motivation for doing this.

    I don't like the idea that just because I wasn't thoughtful, I'd cause someone to feel bad or ruin their mood. It's a small gesture that can smoothen many ruffled feathers between people who are all their own unique individual and therefore bound to occasionally not see eye to eye.

    Quote Originally Posted by bluemonday View Post

    It's not a coping mechanism. It is a GENUINE insensitivity to what other's think of them. That in itself is not a fault. It's only a fault if it leads a person to treat others unfairly.
    I'd have to disagree, it's perfectly possible for an NT to develop their F side and actually be sensitive to this. And I've known enough NTs that are very sensitive to what others think of them and rebel agains it by using an 'I don't care'-attitude, usually complimented by cyniscism. But I was talking mostly about the insensitivity towards others, though likely, the two are linked.

    I have no doubt, however, that you believe that you're genuinly insensitive to this and that there is nothing you can do about that, nor should you
    ★ڿڰۣ✿ℒoѵℯ✿ڿڰۣ★





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  7. #197
    meh Salomé's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by toonia View Post
    If this refers to comments about power imbalances based on T and F stereotypes, I can only speak for myself, but upset is not the right word. Assuming an emotion is present in this instance is much like the miscommunication described in the OP. It is useful to experience these things from both vantage points. Inaccurately assuming the presence of emotion in another person is quite easy to do - even for Ts.
    As you say, you can only speak for yourself. This thread is rife with misunderstandings. Helpfully.


    I don't really see the power imbalances you are pointing out. As an NT female, I'm both subject to the standard prejudices against women, and some special ones reserved for us 'unnatural' types. I've been accused of all sorts of things, both on this board and elsewhere. And I get considerably less support than NF females do, for example.

    Sticks and stones...

    Quote Originally Posted by Amargith View Post
    I'd have to disagree, it's perfectly possible for an NT to develop their F side and actually be sensitive to this. And I've known enough NTs that are very sensitive to what others think of them and rebel agains it by using an 'I don't care'-attitude, usually complimented by cyniscism. But I was talking mostly about the insensitivity towards others, though likely, the two are linked.
    You're in no position to disagree. You don't know what you are talking about.

    Developing a mature Feeling function does not leave one exposed to over-sensitivity to the opinions of others. As I said, it's immature and undesirable. Not all Fs are emo teens, either.

    Quote Originally Posted by Amargith
    I have no doubt, however, that you believe that you're genuinly insensitive to this and that there is nothing you can do about that, nor should you
    Quote Originally Posted by Amargith
    I don't like the idea that just because I wasn't thoughtful, I'd cause someone to feel bad or ruin their mood.
    You weren't very thoughtful there, now were you? Quite feelful though.

    Why isn't that a word? I blame the T/F power imbalance!!
    Quote Originally Posted by Ivy View Post
    Gosh, the world looks so small from up here on my high horse of menstruation.

  8. #198
    half mystic, half skeksis jenocyde's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by TaylorS View Post
    OMG, that bolded part is SO me it's not funny!
    lol - how does this translate into fun for you?

    Quote Originally Posted by Amargith View Post
    I said that's how I do it. Did I say that just because you don't work that way, you're doing it wrong?
    I was just curious - it wasn't a judgment.

    I'd have to disagree, it's perfectly possible for an NT to develop their F side and actually be sensitive to this.
    Because you think that you understand NTs? Surely some NTs are sensitive and others are not. There are a great many more who pretend to be and learn to mimic social cues in order not to be ostracized and judged for being an "abnormal" female...

  9. #199
    half mystic, half skeksis jenocyde's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by bluemonday View Post
    As an NT female, I'm both subject to the standard prejudices against women, and some special ones reserved for us 'unnatural' types. I've been accused of all sorts of things, both on this board and elsewhere. And I get considerably less support than NF females do, for example.
    Wow, just saw this. +10000000000

  10. #200
    darkened dreams labyrinthine's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by bluemonday View Post
    As you say, you can only speak for yourself. This thread is rife with misunderstandings. Helpfully.


    I don't really see the power imbalances you are pointing out. As an NT female, I'm both subject to the standard prejudices against women, and some special ones reserved for us 'unnatural' types. I've been accused of all sorts of things, both on this board and elsewhere. And I get considerably less support than NF females do, for example.

    Sticks and stones...
    I believe that wholeheartedly and admire the focus and resilience of people who are willing to be their true self and not submit to social pressures. Although, I try not to make any judgment call on those who do submit. My philosophy has been leaning more towards seeing people are merely cause and effect of nature and nurture rather than seeing any one person as though they are supposed to be something other than they are.
    Step into my metaphysical room of mirrors.
    Fear of reality creates myopic morality
    So I guess it means there is trouble until the robins come
    (from Blue Velvet)

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