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  1. #161
    darkened dreams labyrinthine's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by aphrodite-gone-awry View Post
    not sure. sorta confused with the wording. but did i just get made an example of, and taken down a notch? or were you appreciating that i answered your question in an honest fashion?
    I just deleted that post because I figured it was too tangential. The fact that such a statement could bring someone down a notch indicates that there is a lower lever of respect for being called a Feeler. Otherwise it should not be capable of insulting anyone. My point is that in this environment it really isn't a criticism for a Feeler to be called Thinker. I have never seen it used as an insult and my opinion is that it is implicitly a compliment whereas calling a Thinker an Feeler in a debate tends more towards being a way to insult or flame. Having others say any push-back against negative comments about Feelers is by nature personalizing or self-pity is an example of projection something without examining some other possible sources of defensiveness. I can't prove it definitively, so will leave it only as my own subjective impression and is somewhat on a tangent.

    In a thread like this, there is an advantage to not assuming a negative motivation in the person who is making the negative statements about the other group. If it is honest, then assuming so keeps you on the same page, and if there is an element of passive-aggression or ego, then remaining cool helps bring it back to a more reasonable page and is the best argument against what was presented in the OP which described a problem of having Feeler react with anger at those instances where a Thinker does not feel emotion and such. In the instances this happened in the thread are the same moments that would provide the most information about this problem. There would be value in recreating the problem in this less personal, online context, so I would think the negative responses from Feelers are important and informational even if some readers don't understand or enjoy that style of communication. In cases where the response to these Feelers is also defensiveness, projection, and judgment is kind of bringing the whole thing full circle. (Not suggesting specific moments because only the actual poster knows their own reactions)
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  2. #162
    Revelation Lauren Ashley's Avatar
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    Lovely how people are assuming that those who disagreed with the OP were getting angry and flaming. Is it because they have NF in their type code? I doubt if those with NT under their username responded in the same way, that they would be accused of being defensive.

  3. #163
    The Memes Justify the End EcK's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lauren Ashley View Post
    Lovely how people are assuming that those who disagreed with the OP were getting angry and flaming. Is it because they have NF in their type code? I doubt if those with NT under their username responded in the same way, that they would be accused of being defensive.
    What are you saying about NTs :steam:



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  4. #164
    heart on fire
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    Quote Originally Posted by toonia View Post
    I just deleted that post because I figured it was too tangential. The fact that such a statement could bring someone down a notch indicates that there is a lower lever of respect for being called a Feeler. Otherwise it should not be capable of insulting anyone.

    My point is that in this environment it really isn't a criticism for a Feeler to be called Thinker. I have never seen it used as an insult and my opinion is that it is implicitly a compliment whereas calling a Thinker an Feeler in a debate tends more towards being a way to insult or flame. Having others say any push-back against negative comments about Feelers is by nature personalizing or self-pity is an example of projection something without examining some other possible sources of defensiveness. I can't prove it definitively, so will leave it only as my own subjective impression and is somewhat on a tangent.
    Some Feelers even do themselves, making statements in a self-congratulatory tone about how "thinker-like" they are.

    Quote Originally Posted by Lauren Ashley View Post
    Lovely how people are assuming that those who disagreed with the OP were getting angry and flaming. Is it because they have NF in their type code? I doubt if those with NT under their username responded in the same way, that they would be accused of being defensive.
    +1

    Quote Originally Posted by bluemonday View Post
    His point is not difficult to understand: he wants to be provocative but not antagonistic. That is, he wants to provoke thoughtful discussion but not a flame war. Conflicting opinions=good. Conflicting egos=waste of energy
    He said he wanted to get beyond the harmony seeking side and get to the more impassioned sides of NF. He got it. I don't see why people are getting upset about that. He even said he was learning from it.

  5. #165
    Senior Member alexx's Avatar
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    NT's make no sense to me, so not all NF's think they do.

    89% Extroverted ~ 68% Intuition ~ 84% Feeling ~ 89% Perceiving
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  6. #166
    Lasting_Pain
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    Quote Originally Posted by alexx View Post
    NT's make no sense to me, so not all NF's think they do.


    At least you admit it.

  7. #167
    lab rat extraordinaire CrystalViolet's Avatar
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    There's an implication made by many NT's that they are some how more intellingent than NF's.
    And hands up any feelers who've accidently stirred up NT bee hives and lived to tell the tale.
    I have to admit I haven't posted as much lately mainly because I resent the fact that it is implied that I'm emotionally unstable, not quite able to cope with life, less logical, less intellingent......I have dealt with this my whole life, I don't need to deal with it in my leisure time. These implications are bandied about, and then you expect us not to use the one slight gift that you don't posess.
    I've never said that I understand NT's, but I understand emotions, they are my first language, but like any language, there is room for intrepretation. Sometimes aspects of communication do get lost.
    Disclaimer:I'm not implying all NT's, or NF's
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  8. #168
    The High Priestess Amargith's Avatar
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    +1

    I'd also like to add, as it is my 'first language', I almost do not realize it when I do check up on someone's emotions. It's just part of the process, and it sometimes raises questions which I then ask. Maybe I shouldn't, as they're sometimes met with defensive comments and paranoid guesses as to my motivation that just make me roll my eyes. But the times that this does not happen, it's quite enriching, so I can't help myself.
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  9. #169
    meh Salomé's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by heart

    He said he wanted to get beyond the harmony seeking side and get to the more impassioned sides of NF. He got it. I don't see why people are getting upset about that. He even said he was learning from it.
    Who is getting upset? You said you didn't understand. A couple of people took that comment at face value (an NT habit) and sought to provide clarification. If you say "I don't understand" when really you mean something else, how can there ever be any understanding?

    Then a handful of NFs decided to hijack the thread to complain about their feelings of inferiority. Thats the only upset I'm seeing here.

    EDIT: this reminds me of why communication and understanding can be such a challenge with Fs. They are so accustomed to couching their message in terms that will not give offence, or phrasing requests in the most roundabout way imaginable so as not to appear to be asking for anything directly ( because, Heaven forbid they should ever have a selfish impulse!) that often the message is lost on the typically blunt and straightforward NT type. Give me blunt, please!! Reading between the lines gives me a fucking sore head.
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  10. #170
    Queen hunter Virtual ghost's Avatar
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    All of this sounds nice but this is not the real problem.


    The real problem appears when you get emotionally needy or you get pissed off and your entire good logic throws out window.



    I have already said in the other thread that I have started all of this as a conflict since I want to bypass your classical approach to people. Which is that you are nice and carring in general (which is fine). It is just that often you seem nice just for the sake of it.



    I am interested in the side of you that you don't like and you try to aviod it or hide it.
    I understand NFs on the outside since interparsonal emotions or their displays are logical in many cases.

    I am after things like: moods , constant problems with depression and/or stress , fear that no one will like you which are more expressed in NFs then NTs , why NFPs have the tendency to be so thin skinned etc.

    In a way I am after your emotional baggage. I have done a few threads about NFs before and many replays looked like shallow in a certain way. Since people were hidding bad emotions. (at least that is how that looked like me)

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