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  1. #1
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    Default ENFP in need of peer help

    Do any of you all have problems with being a douchebag, or some other form of aggrivating other people? Am I the only one? How can I fix myself?

  2. #2
    Shaman BlackCat's Avatar
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    One of my best friends, and a guy I've known for 2/3 of my life is an ENFP, and he's pretty much a dick to everyone. He isn't a dick to me because I don't piss him off. We're pretty close. Are you like this too? Not a douchebag to people that you really like being in your life but to everyone else- f**k them? This may be an issue of aggression. He doesn't aggravate, he's just an ass.

    I'm gonna be honest. I don't know what you can do. But there are others out there like you. It sounds like you really need a hobby of some sort, some place other than other people to direct your energy. My ENFP friend is really into photography and photoshop, and that really takes his mind off of things. Maybe that would be your solution, find something that would help you get your energy out and distract you.
    () 9w8-3w4-7w6 tritype.

    sCueI (primary Inquisition)

  3. #3
    Senior Member Moiety's Avatar
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    Are you a guy? And what exactly does douchebag mean in this context? English is not my first language so it's a genuine question btw.

  4. #4
    Retired Member Wonkavision's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Roflcopter View Post
    Do any of you all have problems with being a douchebag, or some other form of aggrivating other people? Am I the only one? How can I fix myself?

    Yes, apparently a lot of people think I'm a douchebag, and it hurts, but I constantly have to remind myself that I "can't win 'em all".

    Trying to please everybody doesn't work, and I often have to remind myself of that, as well.

    Occasionally I have blown up in the past when I felt that people didn't like me, and most of the responses were, "I DID like you, but after THAT, I'm not so sure."

    So, even though we're highly intuitive, we can also be highly paranoid and hypersensitive at times.

    I think its fine and just part of an ENFPs personality to care what people think but its unhealthy to care to the point of blowing up and throwing fits.

    That's some kind of attempt to control what people think of us---which an ENFP naturally doesnt want to do---and it leads to harsh self-criticism and feelings of being a hypocrite.

    I know there are some ENFPs who claim they don't care at all what people think of them and that they never throw fits, but for those of us who are prepared to ADMIT it---the only thing we can do is remind ourselves that not everyone is going to like us, and that it's OK.

  5. #5
    Senior Member Moiety's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Wonkavision View Post
    I know there are some ENFPs who claim they don't care at all what people think of them and that they never throw fits, but for those of us who are prepared to ADMIT it---the only thing we can do is remind ourselves that not everyone is going to like us, and that it's OK.
    Ah yes...the dangers of typology and stereotyping in general....

    Yeah I don't need to ADMIT anything in that respect. I know very well when I behave like an "asshole" and it's always intentional and people know it. Often more humorous then they realize at first, but I really don't care. I've never had someone come to me calling me names or anything, unless I was intentionally being mean for whatever reason.


    I think I'm just like a ENTP in that respect. ENTPs are comfortable being snarky and so am I when I behave like that.



    The one thing that frustrates me is when people don't get my sense of humor. But it's usually people I don't care to "win over" anyway.

  6. #6
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    Haha nice to know i'm not the only one. Oh btw I am a guy and douchebag means ass in this (and every) context.

  7. #7
    Senior Member Moiety's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Roflcopter View Post
    Haha nice to know i'm not the only one. Oh btw I am a guy and douchebag means ass in this (and every) context.
    "I'd tap that douchebag?"

  8. #8
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    lol no as in an asshole? My bad

  9. #9
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sytpg View Post
    Ah yes...the dangers of typology and stereotyping in general....

    I know very well when I behave like an "asshole" and it's always intentional and people know it. Often more humorous then they realize at first, but I really don't care. I've never had someone come to me calling me names or anything, unless I was intentionally being mean for whatever reason.


    I think I'm just like a ENTP in that respect. ENTPs are comfortable being snarky and so am I when I behave like that.



    The one thing that frustrates me is when people don't get my sense of humor. But it's usually people I don't care to "win over" anyway.
    Yeahh... I'm a female ENFP, so this is not just typical to the guys. I feel you, don't change yourself for anyone.

  10. #10
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    I think some of us ENFPs are so idealistic and emotionally charged about it (and rightly so) that sometimes our ideals can unfortunately cloud our rational judgment, or we'll apply said ideals to situations where they don't apply. Hence, being douchebags. I've let certain stereotypical views make me be an ass to people because I attributed negative qualities to them simply by association.

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