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[MBTI General] Specific IxFP Concerns: Advice Wanted

Jeffster

veteran attention whore
Joined
Jun 7, 2008
Messages
6,743
MBTI Type
ESFP
Enneagram
7w6
Instinctual Variant
sx
Have you ever found an activity...or a place for that matter..that made you feel like you could completely lose yourself in the moment and just enjoy yourself?
 

Thalassa

Permabanned
Joined
May 3, 2009
Messages
25,183
MBTI Type
ISFP
Enneagram
6w7
Instinctual Variant
sx
You said:" ...freeze up when I hear sirens and tear up watching Christian Children's Fund commercials. I even pray (yes PRAY) for others – including when I hear sirens, etc. – for no logical reason."

Me too. I've always been really spiritual though. Not religious - in fact, many religious people would probably call me a heathen - but spiritual. Sensitive. TOO sensitive.

I used to be as shy as you are, but because of life experiences am not really at all anymore, except for rare individual cases of social anxiety. Still, I can relate to you with my younger self.

You might be more creative than you think you are...

However, I don't necessarily relate to you on everything you said, but then again all INFPs are not exactly alike. It's just a general assessment of your dominant expression preferences, not the essence of who you really are.

I've questioned my type,too. Except my main question is INFJ (which I have received on tests) and ENFP (which I have also been suggested once or twice). But people on here keep insisting that I seem like an INFP. Then again, they don't know how I am in real life, though.

You might be an ISFP for all I know! Then again, I'm no expert.

My only advice to you is to jump into the threads more often, because your thoughts and opinions are just as valid as anyone else's.
 

BlueSprout

/X\(:: :: )/X\
Joined
Oct 26, 2008
Messages
571
MBTI Type
pfni
Enneagram
4
You seem almost frantic in your posts. Take a break. Go for a long drive with the windows down.

Some light exercise would also clear the mind.

Wow. This must be a pretty bad sign, I guess. :shock: I did go out for a walk, though. Thanks for the :chillpill:.

Edahn:

Advice: ignore typology and work on the areas of your life that need work.

Heh. I'm being advised to step away from typology, and not just the forum? This IS bad. :shock: I'm not going to stop looking at typology for the moment because while I don't know what areas of my life *don't* need work, this might help me identify some of the ways I can work on myself and improve the way I deal with the other types of people with whom I interact. I'm not trying to sound frantic or histrionic (which I'm afraid was the result) and I don't like that what I type seems to be so concerning to others. :doh: I'll try to limit the irrational Fi to this thread, I guess - just to get it out of my system. Maybe I can communicate in a more tolerable way to the Ts in the forum in the future. Please forgive my early posts - they are just the result of cooping up a lot of feelings. :)

BlackCat:

Look at it this way, reverse the argument and come from their side. "Why is this girl even talking to me? I can't really relate to her emotions as well as another feeler could, so why should she even talk to me? I'm of no use to her". That obviously isn't true either, in the same sense that us not benefiting Ts isn't a true statement. They continue to do it because that's what they do.

With my experience with Ts, even if I can't relate to what they're talking about on the intellectual level that they are on, I can still ask questions and add in comments about what they talk about when they come up with a topic. Ask them questions about it, most thinkers love to teach others about their knowledge and enlighten others. Questioning and commenting lets them know that you're interested. You contribute your unique viewpoint of the world and of issues to them. You broaden their horizons.

I recommend talking to an ISTJ or INTJ... They seem to get along with us INFPs very well (we can relate etc). That may help you get over your feelings of incompetence from thinkers.

I don't know if they think about what they offer me. I ask questions all the time (in lieu of actually saying anything). I can "talk" to an NT for 2 hours and I will know about what they had for breakfast, how their cat is responding to a new diet, all their thoughts about Schelling and their new pet sci fi author, and they won't walk away knowing anything new about me. I don't like to comment, though I sometimes feel compelled to; you know, even when I regurgitate points (which I try to do) I'm not precise enough, don't focus on the right things, etc. It might be clarifying for them just to correct my mistakes, but it just makes me feel like I'm in the middle of an oral exam for which I haven't studied.

It's fine to be emotional. There is no "emotion police". It's not like a scary INTP is gonna eat you for being emotional. Pull yourself up again, and ask yourself "why is my mind doing this? Why is it influencing my actions like this? Why must I be this way if I know that I can be a better person?"

It's clear that what I post is concerning to others, and not in the way I expected. Instead of getting "ewww, icky, gooey Fi"..... well.......read the comments. :huh: And INTPs, when in attack mode, don't eat you, they just eye you with vicious disdain (or unnerving scrutiny) until you melt into a quivering mass of INFP goo. :9436: I can't really imagine an INTP out for blood, I guess.

Athenian:

I know how you feel. I've only recently gotten past seeing NTs that way myself.

I wish I had something more to offer, but all I can tell you is to try and believe Ts when they say you contribute something. That's especially important if you don't have faith in your own contributions. They don't mince words, and wouldn't say something just to be nice. That's the best thing about them.

I'm glad to know that you felt threatened by Ts but don't anymore. It gives me a lot of hope. It is probably very unINFP, but I wish the ones I know would say something nice, even if they lied about it.

You might want to know that I usually don't like INFPs very much, and usually don't feel a lot of compassion for their problems, because they seem arrogantly certain that their own values apply for everyone and everything. On top of that, they're usually dismissive of any kind of logic or values that oppose their own, regardless of how little sense their own views make. You're different, though. You're polite, conscientious, and evoke genuine concern and understanding from me. I like the way you think.

Really, please accept yourself. You're not disgusting, you're not a failure. You're a real person, you have value, and you're not invalid.

I thought INFPs were supposed to be open-minded? :shock: I'm glad you don't *dislike* :D me and thank you for the kind words. I like INFJs very much, though I haven't met any in my age group - they've all been much older. I love the INFJ intensity and thoughtfulness (the ones I've met have been extremely wise). And you have to love that Ni. :hug::hug::hug:

Costrin:

Pfft. I don't think I'm a god, though I do have a healthy bit of arrogance and narcissism. And honestly, a lot of times I can't solve problems, simply because I'm not in touch with my F. I don't know what it is that I actually want, my values, etc. I can sometimes even be detached from my own emotional state, which you can recognize and help me with. I could probably solve the technicalities of any problem, but the why eludes me. Why would I want to even do anything at all, as opposed to sit in my room and detachedly think all day? You can draw out my inferior feeling function. You can get me to come out of my shell and follow my emotions more. You can give me a cause, a motivation to actually do stuff. The difference is quite apparent when in a group of Ts, to a group with Fs, and I wouldn't go back to the former.

Well that's my thoughts on zee issue n stuff.

I appreciate your thoughts on zee issue. ;) The 'god' thing may be a little OTT and the characterization is a little unfair - it's just hard for me to convey how I feel when interacting with thinkers. You guys (INTPs) are pretty amazing to me. Even if you think there's a problem with sitting around and thinking all day, I just think it makes you look cool. I think it's remarkable that there are people who love to think logically for its own sake and do so naturally: it's quite a gift you have. I'm also glad that Fs help you find your motivation to do things with that gift. I guess I could see how a healthy NF could be beneficial to you guys.

Bubbles:

EDIT: Okay. Maybe it would help if you explained why you are in such a pessimistic loop. It occurs to me that I'm being me-specific here, and that it's not going to help you at all if you have different problems. Also, Edahn's post is pretty true as well...typology can help, but in reality, problems are problems no matter what type you are. We just wanna help!

I'm glad to know I'm not the only one who does (or did) this. Thanks for the commiseration. :hug:

I guess I'm more interested in looking at typology-related issues than other personal ones. I know this is very personal stuff I'm putting out, but I don't want to treat this like a therapist's couch. Maybe I failed in that respect - I have a hard time writing about how I feel and being restrained. All said, this is not really the place to discuss my other problems, though I'm grateful that someone cares. :blush: Honestly, if this is how I post about an eensy problem with Ti and INFP strengths, do you really want to know the whole story? I don't know if I have enough typing in my fingers. :D

Jeffster:

Have you ever found an activity...or a place for that matter..that made you feel like you could completely lose yourself in the moment and just enjoy yourself?

I'll have to think about that one. I'm probably closest to that when I've had some vino and am laughing with SF relatives, looking at beautiful art and architecture, or listening to music. :headphne: Sometimes I wish that I was an SP just to relate to these experiences in a different way. Se, from my perspective, seems really appealing. :bananallama:

Marmalade Sunrise:
(I love your SN)

Me too. I've always been really spiritual though. Not religious - in fact, many religious people would probably call me a heathen - but spiritual. Sensitive. TOO sensitive.

I used to be as shy as you are, but because of life experiences am not really at all anymore, except for rare individual cases of social anxiety. Still, I can relate to you with my younger self.

You might be more creative than you think you are...

However, I don't necessarily relate to you on everything you said, but then again all INFPs are not exactly alike. It's just a general assessment of your dominant expression preferences, not the essence of who you really are.

I've questioned my type,too. Except my main question is INFJ (which I have received on tests) and ENFP (which I have also been suggested once or twice). But people on here keep insisting that I seem like an INFP. Then again, they don't know how I am in real life, though.

I'm glad you are no longer so shy, though I'm sorry you are so sensitive too. Oversensitivity is a difficult tendency to have. You must be pretty intuitive if you test INFJ and ENFP. Did this help you get over the anxiety you faced like it did Bubbles?

Wow. I type way too much.
 

ThatsWhatHeSaid

Well-known member
Joined
May 11, 2007
Messages
7,263
MBTI Type
INTP
Enneagram
5w4
Heh. I'm being advised to step away from typology, and not just the forum? This IS bad. :shock: I'm not going to stop looking at typology for the moment because while I don't know what areas of my life *don't* need work, this might help me identify some of the ways I can work on myself and improve the way I deal with the other types of people with whom I interact.

Jane:

This was kind of my point. I think you can improve yourself much more efficiently if you stop trying to squeeze yourself into the Myers-Briggs framework and just take a sweeping look at your life, noticing what areas can use some improvement.

I'm not trying to sound frantic or histrionic (which I'm afraid was the result) and I don't like that what I type seems to be so concerning to others. :doh: I'll try to limit the irrational Fi to this thread, I guess - just to get it out of my system. Maybe I can communicate in a more tolerable way to the Ts in the forum in the future. Please forgive my early posts - they are just the result of cooping up a lot of feelings. :)

You didn't sound frantic to me at all. Welcome to the forum!
 

Requeim

New member
Joined
Apr 15, 2009
Messages
473
MBTI Type
INFJ
Enneagram
9w1

You seem very INFP to me. Also i couldn't help but laugh at this quote, because it could have been written exactly the same by me (i think like this alot):

I have been working up the courage to post, but am always afraid I will type the wrong thing. I also feel bad asking for feedback when I haven't really contributed anything to the board. Sometimes I look at threads and think of commenting, but I never know how to jump in without seeming awkward.

My typing has also been all over the place, here's a small overview of all the types that i have identified with at some point(by lying to myself, mostly): INFJ -> ISFJ -> ISFP -> ISTP -> INFP.

Like you, i don't identify with that many of the positive traits of the INFP compared to the negative traits, and i don't think that i fit the "healer" label that is often slapped on INFPs (but i don't know how others perceive me, so this could be wrong). I am 100% sure that it's my type though, maybe you should take a small trip to the INFP globalchatter (that's what i was recommended, and i read through the 20 pages or so in the main forum before concluding that it fit me perfectly)

--> infp.globalchatter.com :: View Forum - (INFP) MBTI Discussion

edit: the first post that BlackCat wrote also applies perfectly to me. I was also super paranoid about finding my type.
 

krunchtime

New member
Joined
Oct 19, 2009
Messages
96
I think what I'm hearing is that you are looking for like-minded friends, rather than NTs and ISTs, whom you find somewhat difficult to relate to. Interacting with them makes you uncomfortable, but denying them makes you feel guilty for possibly hurting their feelings. I can relate to that, because I've always felt that INTP and INFP don't function on the same wavelength. Open communication and subtly shifting your spectrum of friends, sounds like a good move to make. You are entitled to take care of your own needs first. Sometimes, life is like a game of ping-pong.
 
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OrangeAppled

Sugar Hiccup
Joined
Mar 20, 2009
Messages
7,626
MBTI Type
INFP
Enneagram
4w5
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
This is old, and I have a feeling this person isn't coming back, so I will say that the entire OP screams ISFJ.

Perfect example of an ISFJ mistyped as INFP, probably because the poor woman is so depressed and insecure (which people mistakenly think is an INFP trait). She sounds like my ISFJ mother when she was younger and much more insecure....they completely miss their strengths as people.
 
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