[MBTI General] Specific IxFP Concerns: Advice Wanted

[BlueSprout]

Hi,

I'm a sometime lurker here. I've had some trouble with my type (INFP), which seems to fit me well generally. I have been working up the courage to post, but am always afraid I will type the wrong thing. I also feel bad asking for feedback when I haven't really contributed anything to the board. Sometimes I look at threads and think of commenting, but I never know how to jump in without seeming awkward. The problem is, I'm not sure I possess or relate to many of the positive traits of my type, but have nearly all of the negative traits (and how). I guess I'll kind of throw some info out there and maybe some posters could let me know a) if I should reevaluate my type (sometimes I think I might be ISFP) b) how to develop maybe one positive trait of IXFP (or any positive trait in general) c) how to deal with Ti when I encounter it or d) how to view or develop Fi or Ne as assets.

a,b) I test INFP, but have obviously not been professionally evaluated. My Fi is extremely strong and, while I sometimes act more ISFJ when caring for people (I can never verbalize it well; I always do caring), I really cannot see any other function as my dominant one. However, I lack curiosity and a broader view of humanity; I have lost interest in wondering or exploring anything without a practical application. I have done very well in philosophy classes, but treat philosophy as a mental exercise rather than as a tool to use to find truth or understand existence. I have a defeatist view about my ability to know anything (about human nature and destiny, God, truth, etc.) certainly and do not trust myself to weigh the merits of any opinions regarding these issues. Frankly, it would take a lifetime to explore them all – and I still would not have certainty. As a default, I don't have any real beliefs whatsoever. I don't feel a connection to any god or belief system per se – if I did, I might be willing to accept my gut belief as truth. Neither feeling a connection to faith nor having the intelligence or time to develop a philosophical perspective, I have come to no conclusion about life. This is very painful for me as everything, including suffering, individual growth, and human progress, seems meaningless. This is a pain I cannot manage well. /Feeling/ I freeze up when I hear sirens and tear up watching Christian Children's Fund commercials. I even pray (yes PRAY) for others – including when I hear sirens, etc. – for no logical reason. It's not that it makes me feel better (I don't actually think Fi gets any relief from it – just more discomfort). It's probably a superstition that I carry from childhood. My family was never really religious, but we went to church and I was always convinced that I needed to concentrate on the masses of people we ritually prayed for in order for the prayers to affect their lives. Empty prayers produced no relief for the suffering, but if I focused on their needs, then they would get the help they needed. I still feel obligated to pray, despite being an agnostic or atheist of 6 years. /Feeling/ (In case there was any doubt that feeling was my dominant function). :redface:

I also lack creativity of any sort – intuitive or sensing. I cannot imagine alternative worlds or existences easily. I cannot write creatively or cleverly. I can't hear new songs or see new images (other than composites of things I know I have seen) when I close my eyes. I'm not well coordinated or dexterous and do not play an instrument, sculpt or dance. I may have an ear for music (and I certainly enjoy listening to it), but it's nothing amazing. I agree with the classification INFP mostly because I can retrieve an abstract or general idea more quickly than an image or concrete detail. Also, I am a complete klutz.

What should I work on and how should I go about developing it? I can't imagine where to begin because these things don't come 'naturally' to me. More than just developing IXFP strengths, I would like to develop a backbone, as I say “yes” way too much and end up in an ISFJ cycle sometimes. Sometimes I hope a dutiful and subservient ISFJ (which I can sometimes muster up) will be more appreciated than an INFP with no wonder or substance or an ISFP with no charm or grace.

c) Very strong Ti, even when tempered with some Fe, seems threatening to me. Even though I know it is (by definition) reasonable, it often *feels* confrontational and pedantic and it often hurts me deeply to be corrected. My inferior thinking makes me very defensive and Fi just punishes me when I fail to use it effectively. I don't know why INTPs or ISTPs bother talking to, much less befriending, me. INTPs often seem open to friendship, but I withdraw. I avoid them because I don't know what either of us would have to gain from a friendship – they certainly need more intellectually curious and rational friends. Frankly, they could do better and I could do without being just a sympathetic ear or a person off whom to bounce ideas. Most often, I have no way of giving the INTP (or less frequently ISTP) any real feedback about their ideas as I lack their knowledge base and ability to reason. However, I feel awkward just being talked *at* and end up (unwisely) entering discussions for which I am not prepared. This is a consequence of not fully shutting down contact, which *feels* like the better choice most of the time. I would much rather avoid Ti if I can – but I don't want to hurt Ti-users whom I generally like. Somehow I am exposed to extremely few feelers on a regular basis – though this is likely because I limit my contact with anyone, period. There is not one INTP (or person of any other type) that I know who is as reclusive as I am – and I know some pretty reclusive people.

d) Whether I'm INFP or ISFP, I eat, sleep, drink and breathe Fi. I don't know how to manage it or how to exploit its strengths. I don't know how much I use Ne, but I certainly don't use enough to balance out the Fi. How should I deal with this? Are there exercises for Ne? Skills for Fi?

Thanks for your patience reading this post. Any feedback would be great, especially from other IXFPs, ISTPs and INTPs.

 

[Costrin]

You definitely sound INFP.

c) Very strong Ti, even when tempered with some Fe, seems threatening to me. Even though I know it is (by definition) reasonable, it often *feels* confrontational and pedantic and it often hurts me deeply to be corrected. My inferior thinking makes me very defensive and Fi just punishes me when I fail to use it effectively. I don't know why INTPs or ISTPs bother talking to, much less befriending, me. INTPs often seem open to friendship, but I withdraw. I avoid them because I don't know what either of us would have to gain from a friendship – they certainly need more intellectually curious and rational friends. Frankly, they could do better and I could do without being just a sympathetic ear or a person off whom to bounce ideas. Most often, I have no way of giving the INTP (or less frequently ISTP) any real feedback about their ideas as I lack their knowledge base and ability to reason. However, I feel awkward just being talked *at* and end up (unwisely) entering discussions for which I am not prepared. This is a consequence of not fully shutting down contact, which *feels* like the better choice most of the time. I would much rather avoid Ti if I can – but I don't want to hurt Ti-users whom I generally like. Somehow I am exposed to extremely few feelers on a regular basis – though this is likely because I limit my contact with anyone, period. There is not one INTP (or person of any other type) that I know who is as reclusive as I am – and I know some pretty reclusive people.

Nuu. I wub you INFPs. Trust me, you guys are great for bouncing ideas off of, and your different perspective is interesting and valuable. You help draw out my F, and I can aid your T. Your input is valuable if only you'd let yourself give it. It may not appear that you can contribute much to us, but you really do.

What should I work on and how should I go about developing it? I can't imagine where to begin because these things don't come 'naturally' to me. More than just developing INxP strengths, I would like to develop a backbone, as I say “yes” way too much and end up in an ISFJ cycle sometimes. Sometimes I hope a dutiful and subservient ISFJ (which I can sometimes muster up) will be more appreciated than an INFP with no wonder or substance or an ISFP with no charm or grace.

Well, my best advice is to just hold your breath, and dive right in. Follow your impulses more. You just need to get more comfortable extraverting. The more you do it, the less inhibitions you'll have about it. You just need to work up the will to do it. Speak whatever random thoughts and connections you come up. Try whatever new ideas pop up. If you see something interesting, try it.

You sound like you may have fallen to tertiary temptation:

Tertiary Si (INxP): "I can't possibly go along with this, I don't have any reliable concepts or map to anchor myself with: it's all arbitrary and untrustworthy and meaningless. I'd be diving in without any orientation; I'd be tripped up or harmed from any random direction, and my efforts wouldn't be cumulative. I just won't budge. I'll build myself some barricades and wait for the storm to blow over." The Secondary Function (Ne) would say: "Look around, shake up the pot, see what new arises, and deal with it imaginatively; there must be better alternatives available than being stuck here." (My secondary Ne says something more in the lines of "Pay attention to your surroundings and do the thing that will have the most interesting results. Don't be dumb just because you don't have any experience.")

But just making this post is a good first step.

 

[wolfy]

:hi: Glad to see you posting now.
About the ability to say no, maybe this would help The Power of a Positive No
Here are some videos with the author.
It's by William Ury, a famous negotiator.

Also, about the Fi. Depending on what type you are you need to develop the secondary function.
ISFP Personal Growth
INFP Personal Growth

Hope you enjoy it here.

 

[BlackCat]

I can tell you're an INFP. You didn't really specify why exactly you doubted it, you just posted a lot of stuff about yourself. I can act a certain way when dealing with people as well (like you said you acted like an ISFJ), it's not really acting like another type, it's just being human. Being a social chameleon to get along in life.

I can relate to you as well, I can't relate to much in the INFP profiles. The way I set my type in stone was by reading the function descriptions and realizing that it was totally me.

A reason that I'm an odd INFP is that I'm enneagram 8w9, there are hardly any INFPs that are type 8 anywhere. A lot of descriptions are about type 4 INFPs (the most common), and that's why I can't relate much. I have an over active Te as well, I am good with it, and I can control it. I use an NeTe face when posting a lot of the time. I handle impersonal affairs with pure logic, and hardly any feelings attached. This doesn't seem to be typical of INFPs.

You see where I'm going with this. We're all different, we're individuals.

I think you're just paranoid of your type because you can't exactly put yourself in a box, you can't truly relate. I was like that, so I wrote an INFP profile that I could relate to myself. I tried to make it as open to interpretation as possible, so plenty of INFPs could relate to it. Here is the link if you're interested in that. http://www.typologycentral.com/forums/nf-idyllic/15463-infp-profile-straight-horse-s-mouth.html

Also you mentioned being interested in how to exercise the functions. I get the feeling you use Ne unconsciously and can't really pinpoint it for yourself where you use it. I do that too, no worries dude. Here is a link for how to experience different functions: How to Experience Different Function-Attitudes

You're an INFP. It seems universal for INFPs to deny that they are an INFP. My denial period was with asking myself if I were an INTP. I'm borderline on all preferences, so this caused confusion with that. I regularly score as INTP, but I'm definitely an F. On the best tests I've taken I'm right at the border. 51% or 52% everything. But there is just no way that I'm anything but that. Don't deny it.

 

[BlueSprout]

Thanks Costrin. It's just difficult to see what my contribution is. I really relate to the passage about Tertiary Temptation - thank you for that. I will have to look at it more closely.

Wolfy, I've looked at Personality Page and found it somewhat helpful. I just (despite the disclaimer) get overwhelmed by the negatives because I possess so few of the positives. The suggestions are somewhat helpful as well, but I wish there were more exercises. The handful there I do already or couldn't do if my life depended on it (thinking of how others would act in a situation without judging myself - harshly - is nearly impossible).

BlackCat: I do think I'm INFP, but I guess I don't think of myself as very abstract at all and, as you mentioned, I cannot locate Ne. I'm glad I'm not alone in feeling unconnected with the profiles. I like your profile and have looked at it before. I think I've been in "the mood" for about a decade now. I really don't know how I feel about having everything so focused on what makes me feel good. I would hope that the ability to make myself feel good is something I can develop. I do a crappy job of it generally. I can definitely relate to the way you describe Si (maybe my Tertiary is taking over, not my Fi) . The extroverted intuition exercises in the link look interesting and not at all how I would have pictured them. I'm not sure I could do them competently at all (as they require some creativity). I will give them a go though.

I really appreciate the feedback guys.

 

[BlackCat]

You're pretty much going through tertiary temptation. If you're depressed I'd recommend getting some help with that, or at least try to help yourself with it. Tertiary temptation seems to be fueled by depression, it wrecks people when it fully takes it's toll. I have no real basis for this besides observation, but I think if you are depressed or going through anything stressful in your life etc (anything causing psychological havoc) then you should take care of that. It may be fueling the temptation.

As for NTs, we do in fact contribute. I don't quite understand how yet (I think it's something you have to experience, and not just learn). With my ENTJ friends I don't feel like I contribute much, but they beg to differ greatly. It's odd, I know the feeling.

 

[Athenian200]

I'm not sure what type you are, but it seems like you have low self-esteem. I can relate to that, I've had that myself.

Your thinking isn't as bad as you think. You seem very articulate and capable of making connections and inferences. There was actually a certain irony in your strong awareness of implication and the way things relate to each other... in your complaints about your weaknesses in those things.

You're very hard on yourself, and seem to be a victim of your own high standards for creativity and intelligence. If you hadn't told me about your experiences with INTPs, I probably would have thought you were one. Although on reflection, I'm actually seeing ISTJ more.

I hope that you feel better soon. You don't seem happy or comfortable with yourself at all.

 

[SpottingTrains]

Nice first post, a lot of self insight crammed in there

While I don't have much specific knowledge on the INFP I whill echo BlackCat in saying that you should definitely look at the functions as those form up what your type is made up of.

Also when reading your post it made me actually really sad I felt that I just wanted to show you something and have you fall in love with it, experience how amazing something could be.

Best of luck figuring this all out!

 

[BlueSprout]

BlackCat: I'm aware that depression might be mucking things up, but even without it, I would still need to develop some positive attributes. I thought I would come here for help on that, since I've noticed so many bright and talented posters on this forum. I know NTs, but no ENTs. I'm kind of curious about what an ENTJ would get out of us too. I'm sure that, as a very thinking feeler, you have a lot of deep insight to contribute.

Athenian: You're definitely right that I have very little self esteem. I'm very flattered that you saw thinking in my post - I was certainly trying to be restrained at least (though I definitely failed in the /feeling/ section). ISTJ is something I have never considered - mostly because I'm so very F and P. But I like healthy and balanced (not dogmatic and rigid) SJs: the world really does need them and it's a comfort to know they're out there, holding down the fort and preserving our traditions. I wouldn't mind being more organized, either. On second thought, can I has ISTJ?

SpottingTrains: Don't be sad. I'm just here venting; it was more emotional than I had intended. I appreciate your support and will update here if I do "fall in love" with an idea.

 

[Fluffywolf]

Just my two cents. Many people love to contribute in the form of advice. You need not fear the suspicion of your worries to be troubling to others.

At most, fear the advice given is tough to receive.

On a more personal note, stay your sweet INFP self. I have had enough of ISTJ's.

 

[Bubbles]

What is it about INFPs that makes them doubt their type? It happens so often, sounds almost like a prerequisite to be one.

A lot of great advice has already been said here, but I'd also like to ask, do you know your enneagram type? As BlackCat said earlier, most INFPs are 4s, and many profiles seem biased towards that type. We may be INFPs, but we're not all the same--we're still individuals. What makes us the same is how our functions work, and different functions are stronger in different INFPs. For example, your Te seems far better than mine; your opening post was very coherent and to-the-point.

And here's a hug. Low self esteem doesn't have to last forever. Having gone through it myself, I just want to let you know that INFPs especially have a problem with obsessing over negative feelings. But on the flip side? The positive ones come off so much stronger, too. Imagine feeling just as intensely as you do, right now, but because you feel wonderful inside. It's the Fi, I think. It makes us so vulnerable to our emotions sometimes. So you're not alone!

And one more thing. Ti seems scary, but it's not. If you meet the right Thinkers, it can be a lot of fun. You can gain a lot from it.

 

[BlackCat]

BlackCat: I'm aware that depression might be mucking things up, but even without it, I would still need to develop some positive attributes. I thought I would come here for help on that, since I've noticed so many bright and talented posters on this forum. I know NTs, but no ENTs. I'm kind of curious about what an ENTJ would get out of us too. I'm sure that, as a very thinking feeler, you have a lot of deep insight to contribute.

Well get to work with that tertiary temptation. You have the tools and the knowledge, so just do it. I'm pretty sure the only way you pull yourself out of it is by use of the 2ndary function, your Ne. If you start consciously using that then eventually you will get out of it.

As for ENTJs, it's just a bit odd at first if you aren't used to them. They like having us around because of our non judgmental attitude, they won't feel pressured to try to impress us or anything like that. Plus we reinforce and embrace each other's weak sides, and from that both partners won't be afraid of expressing their most vulnerable sides of them (Te for the INFP, Fi for the ENTJ). The two partners will naturally like seeing the other making an effort to use their inferior (it's an unconscious feeling). It's a very good friendship, but as for relationships it can either be a complete disaster or a total success. It depends on how in touch the INFP is with their T side, and the ENTJ with their F side. Having those traits helps a good deal in friendship as well. Here's a link, if you're female you can relate to the non gender specific points made here. http://www.typologycentral.com/foru...male-ideal-match-entj-female-perspective.html

I love talking about relationships and relationship theory.

But yes. Have you researched your problems on the net? Such as depression, low self esteem, etc?

 

[BlueSprout]

Fluffywolf: Yeah, I probably shouldn't worry too much about how people respond to my posts, but I'm very aware of how whiny and self-pitying they seem (and well might be). I don't want a bunch of my INFP whoa-is-meisms making others (especially NFs) upset. It's not all bad - I don't generally express my anxieties, so I guess this is just an outpouring. Honestly, I'm a little embarrassed by and hypersensitive to my emotions when they become effusive. However, I've been told that I come off stoic, relaxed or even stoned! Jeez.

Bubbles: I took two enneagram tests and both times the 5 and 4 scores were really close - once 5 was higher, the other time 4 was higher. But if I'm honest, 4 fits me far better than 5. I'm certainly no 8w9 like BlackCat (which is so very cool to me - I thought really assertive INFPs were non-existent). I thought my post rambled too much, but I guess I structured it with Te. Te often helps me gloss over my faults and makes me appear more competent than I am at work and school; it's probably my favorite function as it's the only one that seems to serve me well (though it is a real pain to use and I don't have the best command of it). I found your post easy to read and well organized; I don't see a missing Te, I guess. I think positive Fi would be overwhelming. How does it work? *pokes Bubbles' brain* I really admire positive people, even if I can't often understand them. Is there a secret society for positive INFPs where they learn to see bunnies in the clouds? Is there a secret handshake? Do they serve kool-aid? :crazy:

BlackCat: Yes, sir! I will work on my Ne. I like INTJs because we share Fi and Te - I guess I could see the same with ENTJs (as I imagine them). I read the thread and think the INFP/ENTJ combination seems interesting. Maybe when I meet one, I'll post my thoughts. My Fi is not good at reading people at the moment (I feel separated from their thoughts and feelings by a brick wall - even when they are leaking tertiary Fi and busting inferior Fe all over the place). Maybe if I develop my strengths (though, honestly, the idea of me having insight into people's thoughts and feelings is laughable to me) I can be of better use to the Ts of the world. As it is, I have no idea why NTs or STs even like me (largely not because I'm an INFP, but because I'm DENSE and SIMPLE) - they might as well be talking to themselves; they'd probably come up with solutions or conclusions that way. If all they need is for someone to listen and respond so they can sort out their thoughts, maybe they should consider getting parrots. Ugh. I realize how bitter that sounds.

For me, talking to the Ts I know is kind of like talking to intellectual gods; they have a purity of consciousnesses, can approach and solve problems with clarity and ease, and can be incredibly incisive. They also *know* they're gods; they know they are superior and trust their judgments far above those of others. I could see how they would want to exchange ideas with other gods, but instead they choose to talk with a lowly mortal. So they discuss their ideas and thoughts, looking for clarity and truth - but, honestly, why would they do this with me? It's hopeless to contribute since they usually choose the topic of discussion, or I feel compelled to choose one they relate to because they have no real interest in anything I like - which is precious little these days - and don't seem willing to even pretend to be enthusiastic about anything I say (though I'm sure they feign tolerance). When the conversation is general, I struggle to keep up with their thoughts and am always wrong, though I feel the need to defend what I say since I say things without thinking in order to just contribute anything - so I'm not just being talked *at*. I don't get how this is productive for anyone involved. I'm sure my irrationality and lack of knowledge irritates them as much as the whole set up wounds me. Why do they do this and continue to do it? Do ISTs or INTs have any insight into this?

Ugh. There we go again. Another emotional post. Sorry, it's just free-flowing Fi. I'll leave it up, but I'm certainly not trying to offend your 8w9 sensibilities. There you were trying to get me to pull myself up by my bootstraps, and I just ended up falling back down. Don't worry, though. I take your advice to heart and will try to improve myself via Ne and reduce the influence of my overreactive Si. Thank you for the words of strength. I like your directing tone especially, as it is grounding to me. I may find in myself a healthy INFP yet.

 

[sleuthiness]

You seem almost frantic in your posts. Take a break. Go for a long drive with the windows down.

 

[A Schnitzel]

You seem almost frantic in your posts. Take a break. Go for a long drive with the windows down.

+1

Some light exercise would also clear the mind.

 

[Athenian200]

For me, talking to the Ts I know is kind of like talking to intellectual gods; they have a purity of consciousnesses, can approach and solve problems with clarity and ease, and can be incredibly incisive. They also *know* they're gods; they know they are superior and trust their judgments far above those of others. I could see how they would want to exchange ideas with other gods, but instead they choose to talk with a lowly mortal. So they discuss their ideas and thoughts, looking for clarity and truth - but, honestly, why would they do this with me? It's hopeless to contribute since they usually choose the topic of discussion, or I feel compelled to choose one they relate to because they have no real interest in anything I like - which is precious little these days - and don't seem willing to even pretend to be enthusiastic about anything I say (though I'm sure they feign tolerance). When the conversation is general, I struggle to keep up with their thoughts and am always wrong, though I feel the need to defend what I say since I say things without thinking in order to just contribute anything - so I'm not just being talked *at*. I don't get how this is productive for anyone involved. I'm sure my irrationality and lack of knowledge irritates them as much as the whole set up wounds me. Why do they do this and continue to do it? Do ISTs or INTs have any insight into this?

I know how you feel. I've only recently gotten past seeing NTs that way myself.

I wish I had something more to offer, but all I can tell you is to try and believe Ts when they say you contribute something. That's especially important if you don't have faith in your own contributions. They don't mince words, and wouldn't say something just to be nice. That's the best thing about them.

Ugh. There we go again. Another emotional post. Sorry, it's just free-flowing Fi. I'll leave it up, but I'm certainly not trying to offend your 8w9 sensibilities. There you were trying to get me to pull myself up by my bootstraps, and I just ended up falling back down.

You really aren't overdoing it at all. I like the way you express your Fi. You're very aware of how you come across, and extremely considerate. I think I relate to you on a lot of levels because I'm also a 4w5.

You might want to know that I usually don't like INFPs very much, and usually don't feel a lot of compassion for their problems, because they seem arrogantly certain that their own values apply for everyone and everything. On top of that, they're usually dismissive of any kind of logic or values that oppose their own, regardless of how little sense their own views make. You're different, though. You're polite, conscientious, and evoke genuine concern and understanding from me. I like the way you think.

Really, please accept yourself. You're not disgusting, you're not a failure. You're a real person, you have value, and you're not invalid.

 

[BlackCat]

Bubbles:

You are definitely a 4w5 INFP according to what you put then. Woo hoo! One more thing you can relate to other INFPs about.

BlackCat: Yes, sir! I will work on my Ne. I like INTJs because we share Fi and Te - I guess I could see the same with ENTJs (as I imagine them). I read the thread and think the INFP/ENTJ combination seems interesting. Maybe when I meet one, I'll post my thoughts. My Fi is not good at reading people at the moment (I feel separated from their thoughts and feelings by a brick wall - even when they are leaking tertiary Fi and busting inferior Fe all over the place). Maybe if I develop my strengths (though, honestly, the idea of me having insight into people's thoughts and feelings is laughable to me) I can be of better use to the Ts of the world. As it is, I have no idea why NTs or STs even like me (largely not because I'm an INFP, but because I'm DENSE and SIMPLE)

It's odd that you don't have insight into people's feelings... But this all has to do with that tertiary temptation thing and your lack of Ne. Like... all of these problems you've listed is because of that. This is because you lack your natural extroverted attitude (Ne), you are pretty much totally inward with Fi and Si. This may be why you say you're dense and simple.

For me, talking to the Ts I know... stuff

Look at it this way, reverse the argument and come from their side. "Why is this girl even talking to me? I can't really relate to her emotions as well as another feeler could, so why should she even talk to me? I'm of no use to her". That obviously isn't true either, in the same sense that us not benefiting Ts isn't a true statement. They continue to do it because that's what they do.

With my experience with Ts, even if I can't relate to what they're talking about on the intellectual level that they are on, I can still ask questions and add in comments about what they talk about when they come up with a topic. Ask them questions about it, most thinkers love to teach others about their knowledge and enlighten others. Questioning and commenting lets them know that you're interested. You contribute your unique viewpoint of the world and of issues to them. You broaden their horizons.

I recommend talking to an ISTJ or INTJ... They seem to get along with us INFPs very well (we can relate etc). That may help you get over your feelings of incompetence from thinkers.

Ugh. There we go again. Another emotional post. Sorry, it's just free-flowing Fi. I'll leave it up, but I'm certainly not trying to offend your 8w9 sensibilities. There you were trying to get me to pull myself up by my bootstraps, and I just ended up falling back down. Don't worry, though. I take your advice to heart and will try to improve myself via Ne and reduce the influence of my overreactive Si. Thank you for the words of strength. I like your directing tone especially, as it is grounding to me. I may find in myself a healthy INFP yet.

It's fine to be emotional. There is no "emotion police". It's not like a scary INTP is gonna eat you for being emotional. Pull yourself up again, and ask yourself "why is my mind doing this? Why is it influencing my actions like this? Why must I be this way if I know that I can be a better person?"

Thanks for the complements. Directing tone etc. Also... 8w9 sensibilities? Eh?

 

[Costrin]

For me, talking to the Ts I know is kind of like talking to intellectual gods[...]
Why do they do this and continue to do it? Do ISTs or INTs have any insight into this?

Pfft. I don't think I'm a god, though I do have a healthy bit of arrogance and narcissism. And honestly, a lot of times I can't solve problems, simply because I'm not in touch with my F. I don't know what it is that I actually want, my values, etc. I can sometimes even be detached from my own emotional state, which you can recognize and help me with. I could probably solve the technicalities of any problem, but the why eludes me. Why would I want to even do anything at all, as opposed to sit in my room and detachedly think all day? You can draw out my inferior feeling function. You can get me to come out of my shell and follow my emotions more. You can give me a cause, a motivation to actually do stuff. The difference is quite apparent when in a group of Ts, to a group with Fs, and I wouldn't go back to the former.

Well that's my thoughts on zee issue n stuff.

 

[Bubbles]

Pfft. I don't think I'm a god,

Really, Costrin?

though I do have a healthy bit of arrogance and narcissism.

Ah, I see. Just checking.

Positivity comes differently to different people. Um...how to explain it... It depends on what you let your mind wander onto. I used to constantly be on alert when around other people; I assumed they were judging me, and if they weren't, I assumed it was because I was uninteresting. See, my mistake here was assuming. The more I worried about what I didn't know, the more frantic and upset I got. That's where Ne comes in. If you develop it, figure out how to sense other people's moods, you don't secondguess as much. I don't mean it in a bright-light-everything-is-clear kind of way, more in a way that you become familiar with other people and their mannerisms. Hm, I'll think about it and add more later, ok?

EDIT: Okay. Maybe it would help if you explained why you are in such a pessimistic loop. It occurs to me that I'm being me-specific here, and that it's not going to help you at all if you have different problems. Also, Edahn's post is pretty true as well...typology can help, but in reality, problems are problems no matter what type you are. We just wanna help!

 

[ThatsWhatHeSaid]

Advice: ignore typology and work on the areas of your life that need work.