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  1. #51
    Senior Member The Third Rider's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Udog View Post
    In my general observations:

    ENFJ women seem to be drawn towards XXTP types.
    ENFJ men seem to be drawn towards other NFs.

    I don't have much knowledge about how well these matchups work long term, though.
    Yeah I am drawn more to NF women.
    ENFJ 3W4

    If you read this I am sorry to say that you just lost 5 seconds of your life that you wont be getting back.*

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  2. #52
    Senior Member SpottingTrains's Avatar
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    NF definitely but I could see an INTP or an ISFP...maybe.
    "That's the thing about girls. Every time they do something pretty, even if they're not much to look at, or even if they're sort of stupid, you fall half in love with them, and then you never know where the hell you are. Girls. Jesus Christ. They can drive you crazy. They really can."

  3. #53
    Seriously Delirious Udog's Avatar
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    I wonder if it's a dominance thing? ENFJ can possibly considered to be the most 'typically' dominant of the NF types. If there is an NF in a position of social power, it's probably ENFJ.

    For the males, being the dominant NF is fine, so they are drawn to the softer, more intimate NF type connection.

    For the females, though, their dominant personality can cause issues with the other NFs. They don't necessarily need to be out dominated, but they need someone that's more masculine than they are in a typical way. The xxTPs work out well because they fill this role, but don't create the type of minutia power struggle you could see in a xxTJ type relationship.

    Blah blah blah... thinking out loud. Very possible I'm full of it.

  4. #54
    Senior Member SpottingTrains's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Udog View Post
    I wonder if it's a dominance thing? ENFJ can possibly considered to be the most 'typically' dominant of the NF types. If there is an NF in a position of social power, it's probably ENFJ.

    For the males, being the dominant NF is fine, so they are drawn to the softer, more intimate NF type connection.

    For the females, though, their dominant personality can cause issues with the other NFs. They don't necessarily need to be out dominated, but they need someone that's more masculine than they are in a typical way. The xxTPs work out well because they fill this role, but don't create the type of minutia power struggle you could see in a xxTJ type relationship.

    Blah blah blah... thinking out loud. Very possible I'm full of it.
    It all made sense to me
    "That's the thing about girls. Every time they do something pretty, even if they're not much to look at, or even if they're sort of stupid, you fall half in love with them, and then you never know where the hell you are. Girls. Jesus Christ. They can drive you crazy. They really can."

  5. #55
    The Black Knight Domino's Avatar
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    I really like and relate to your explanation, Udog. I find that I'm considered rather intense (even when totally quiet) and vaguely insane though well-meaning. INFP guys aren't hard to break (they're tough mentally), but I think my Fe-primary makes them feel like they're being roasted alive! Having said that, I think ENFJs and INFPs can be very happy together. (And I must admit to having had more than a few INFP boy crushes too...)

    My ISFP friend who called me last night, I was telling him about meeting someone's girlfriend and managing to freak the woman out TWICE, and he said "Girl. I love you, but I can see that."

    I was trying so hard to be on my best behavior and be friendly, only it came off more like that scene in "Beauty and the Beast" where Belle's trying to teach him table manners and he smiles this huge scary smile. lol Lady Jaye told me this, patting me and laughing sympathetically when I put my head in my hands in total defeat.

    *embarrassed grimace*
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  6. #56
    Senior Member Scott N Denver's Avatar
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    "INFP guys aren't hard to break (they're tough mentally)"

    I'm confused, that sounds contradictory...

    "but I think my Fe-primary makes them feel like they're being roasted alive!"
    I don't know you personally, but in my past dealing with Fe-doms, yes there definitely are those moments. And yet, in most of my experience, those moments were actually extremely rare. But god help you when they rolled around... :eek: :confused: :ouch: :ouch: :ouch: :sad: :sad: :sad: :sad: :sad: :sad:

  7. #57
    The Black Knight Domino's Avatar
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    Welcome to the board, Scott And thank you for joining in!

    You caught a typo - I meant to say they were hard to break. My bad! *sheepish*
    eNFJ 4w3 sx/so 468 tritype
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  8. #58
    Senior Member Scott N Denver's Avatar
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    In my experience, it seems that INFP are more intense than ENFJ's. Hmm, let me think about this some more. ENFJ's tend to very much adapt themselves to the collective social situation, but seem to really notch up the intensity one -on-one. Especially when they really want to understand someone and "get" who they are as a person. I think INFP's tend to seem very soft and deep in their thoughts while in a group, but get them one on one and you see the depth of their intensity. However, that intensity is usually inward turned as opposed to beaming into someone else's face. ENFJ intensity far more seems to beam out at others. Personally, I can have an extremely intense presence, but thats probably due to my military, martial arts, and meditative yoga backgrounds. Hmm, yes maybe ENFJ's due have more intense presences one-on-one than do INFP's in a in-your-face and in-your-head sorta way...

    Personally, I think ENFJ's are totally awesome, I often have moments where I wish I could be one, I've had extremely transformative experiences in dealing with them, and I tend to always envy their social prowice [sp] and adeptness. A lot of me wishes I could end up marrying an ENFJ someday, but as a male INFP there's definitely factors making that harder/less likely.

  9. #59
    Senior Member Kungpowish's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Scott N Denver View Post
    In my experience, it seems that INFP are more intense than ENFJ's. Hmm, let me think about this some more. ENFJ's tend to very much adapt themselves to the collective social situation, but seem to really notch up the intensity one -on-one. Especially when they really want to understand someone and "get" who they are as a person. I think INFP's tend to seem very soft and deep in their thoughts while in a group, but get them one on one and you see the depth of their intensity. However, that intensity is usually inward turned as opposed to beaming into someone else's face. ENFJ intensity far more seems to beam out at others. Personally, I can have an extremely intense presence, but thats probably due to my military, martial arts, and meditative yoga backgrounds. Hmm, yes maybe ENFJ's due have more intense presences one-on-one than do INFP's in a in-your-face and in-your-head sorta way...

    Personally, I think ENFJ's are totally awesome, I often have moments where I wish I could be one, I've had extremely transformative experiences in dealing with them, and I tend to always envy their social prowice [sp] and adeptness. A lot of me wishes I could end up marrying an ENFJ someday, but as a male INFP there's definitely factors making that harder/less likely.

    I think people feel intense around us, or at least have a good time, but we are not always that intense ourselves. We have a lot of intensity in us but we only let it out when it's appropriate. That can be in one on one situations but sometimes people need a softer touch. The point I'm trying to make is, we are what people need us to be, if we can also be intense so much the better, but we really just want people to like us.
    -There is nothing either good nor ill but thinking makes it so.

  10. #60
    Sugar Hiccup OrangeAppled's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Scott N Denver View Post
    In my experience, it seems that INFP are more intense than ENFJ's. Hmm, let me think about this some more. ENFJ's tend to very much adapt themselves to the collective social situation, but seem to really notch up the intensity one -on-one. Especially when they really want to understand someone and "get" who they are as a person. I think INFP's tend to seem very soft and deep in their thoughts while in a group, but get them one on one and you see the depth of their intensity. However, that intensity is usually inward turned as opposed to beaming into someone else's face. ENFJ intensity far more seems to beam out at others. Personally, I can have an extremely intense presence, but thats probably due to my military, martial arts, and meditative yoga backgrounds. Hmm, yes maybe ENFJ's due have more intense presences one-on-one than do INFP's in a in-your-face and in-your-head sorta way...

    Personally, I think ENFJ's are totally awesome, I often have moments where I wish I could be one, I've had extremely transformative experiences in dealing with them, and I tend to always envy their social prowice [sp] and adeptness. A lot of me wishes I could end up marrying an ENFJ someday, but as a male INFP there's definitely factors making that harder/less likely.
    My experience too.

    I will add that with the particular ENFJ males I know, they seem amused by my Fi & it's bluntness. They think it is funny that I am "mean" (lack of Fe), which is cool as other people may feel I'm abrasive. I suppose I haven't had too much Fe & Fi clashing with them because they just have a great sense of humor.
    Often a star was waiting for you to notice it. A wave rolled toward you out of the distant past, or as you walked under an open window, a violin yielded itself to your hearing. All this was mission. But could you accomplish it? (Rilke)

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