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  1. #31
    Senior Member Kungpowish's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by BlackCat View Post
    That is just the opposite of how I think about it socially to be honest with you. It's the essence of what someone's saying, the real point, that matters to me. I try to care enough to sound non offensive, but sometimes it just doesn't happen. I do consider how to say things, but I consider a lot more what my point is and what the essence of what I'm getting across is. For me, this sort of thing is just a conflict across the board for me, I don't get along with Fe dominants that well. For me I really just don't think about the context too much, and more the point. That doesn't mean that I don't care about the context with what someone is saying, anger, overt happiness etc is obvious and taken into consideration, but it's still the point that matters to me. This is why I can sound blunt a lot of the time with my points and communication. Then when someone gets offended I'm like "Wait... What? What did I do wrong? :confused:" in my mind. I just simply have no idea why someone would get offended. That's where the conflict comes from.
    I think a good way to explain it it waving. If you see a friend and wave to them and they wave excitedly back you feel good, they are pleased to see you. If they half nod and then go back to their book it can feel like a snub. In both cases the POINT is the same, they are acknowledging you and returning your greeting. But the WAY they do it says a lot.

    In the same way, if I have done something someone doesn't like and they tactfully let me know EX: "I hate to be rude but, could you try not to do that anymore?" I feel a little regretful and try to fix it. But if they say like, "Stop doing that stupid @#$#" then I'll feel offended that they spoke to me that way. Same message but the reaction you get is different, and I feel with good reason.
    -There is nothing either good nor ill but thinking makes it so.

  2. #32
    にゃん runvardh's Avatar
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    By the way, I don't write off ENFJs because of the Fe doms in my life the only one I can't stand 75% of the time is my aunt (father's little sister). My great aunt (paternal grandfather's little sister) is great, but some of the psyco babble she's learned from reading seems to have twisted a few of her synapses. My paternal grandmother on the other hand has been an awesome grandma since she was 37 (the age she was when I was born).
    Dreams are best served manifest and tangible.

    INFP, 6w7, IEI

    I accept no responsibility, what so ever, for the fact that I exist; I do, however, accept full responsibility for what I do while I exist.

    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  3. #33
    Shaman BlackCat's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kungpowish View Post
    I think a good way to explain it it waving. If you see a friend and wave to them and they wave excitedly back you feel good, they are pleased to see you. If they half nod and then go back to their book it can feel like a snub. In both cases the POINT is the same, they are acknowledging you and returning your greeting. But the WAY they do it says a lot.

    In the same way, if I have done something someone doesn't like and they tactfully let me know EX: "I hate to be rude but, could you try not to do that anymore?" I feel a little regretful and try to fix it. But if they say like, "Stop doing that stupid @#$#" then I'll feel offended that they spoke to me that way. Same message but the reaction you get is different, and I feel with good reason.
    Well yeah... Like I said the connotation can matter, but it doesn't matter as much as the point. I will always try to be nice, but when I get into something and I trust someone I tend to forget about the connotations, thus causing conflict with these people. I just wouldn't want to constantly be watching for that, that would hide who I really am. I don't try to be hurtful, sometimes I can just unintentionally say things that might be perceived as hurtful with how blunt they are etc, and it all goes back to that I trust someone to not get offended since they know that my intentions are good.
    () 9w8-3w4-7w6 tritype.

    sCueI (primary Inquisition)

  4. #34
    Senior Member Kungpowish's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by BlackCat View Post
    Well yeah... Like I said the connotation can matter, but it doesn't matter as much as the point. I will always try to be nice, but when I get into something and I trust someone I tend to forget about the connotations, thus causing conflict with these people. I just wouldn't want to constantly be watching for that, that would hide who I really am. I don't try to be hurtful, sometimes I can just unintentionally say things that might be perceived as hurtful with how blunt they are etc, and it all goes back to that I trust someone to not get offended since they know that my intentions are good.
    I can see how that would work. But I would need to know you pretty well before I could stop myself from taking things to harshly. Still, it's your life, I'm sure your methods work as well as mine.
    -There is nothing either good nor ill but thinking makes it so.

  5. #35
    Senior Member chris1207's Avatar
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    No wonder you like TJ's BlackCat because they're completely ignorant of context. Well nearly so.

    Runvardh, she slept with you after 4 days because you're an infp. I've met some infp girls in my time and man they are so cute. The dirty thing I would think about when they were around were unlike my interactions with any other type. I just don't know where it comes from. Maybe it's the Fe = nurturer and Fi = nurtured thing mentioned earlier.

    Then afterwards she probably realized, "holy crap, I'm not in 100% control of the situation, I need to back off"

    I really like the list of types that Blackcat mentioned that are compatible with ENFJ's as well as the reasons. I've known a couple of immature female intps and I agree that I wouldn't have wanted to have a relationship with them. Being emotional for INTP's means making themselves vulnerable. The fact that they were immature means that they weren't ready to connect on that level. Plus they had a penchant for wanting to be right all the time. That would get annoying quick.

    I didn't think the ESTP thing was interesting. I can see where the compatibility comes from but I really think they are just more of our wingmen (errr... women.) Sure it's fun to hang out with them but I don't know if it could go deeper than that. I'm not sure that I'd necessarily find an ESTP to be all that attractive. They're in-your-face to everybody about everything. My one ESTP female friend was in my store with other customers getting a phone from my manager and she was going down the list of features that she wanted. Then she said that she needed one that needed a good vibrate function, "Cuz we all know girls need some good vibrato!" Ridiculous! :P

    I sure do like these ENFJ relationship thread thingamabobs. It's so annoying that ENFJ's are perhaps the most discounted/ignored of the NF types here at TypeC.
    "... you think deeply about stuff [that] nobody cares about and hardly anybody can understand you." ~ Peguy talking about Ni users. So true.

  6. #36
    Senior Member SpottingTrains's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by chris1207 View Post
    Runvardh, she slept with you after 4 days because you're an infp. I've met some infp girls in my time and man they are so cute. The dirty thing I would think about when they were around were unlike my interactions with any other type. I just don't know where it comes from. Maybe it's the Fe = nurturer and Fi = nurtured thing mentioned earlier.


    I sure do like these ENFJ relationship thread thingamabobs. It's so annoying that ENFJ's are perhaps the most discounted/ignored of the NF types here at TypeC.
    We're slowing gaining more
    "That's the thing about girls. Every time they do something pretty, even if they're not much to look at, or even if they're sort of stupid, you fall half in love with them, and then you never know where the hell you are. Girls. Jesus Christ. They can drive you crazy. They really can."

  7. #37
    Revelation Lauren Ashley's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by chris1207 View Post
    I sure do like these ENFJ relationship thread thingamabobs. It's so annoying that ENFJ's are perhaps the most discounted/ignored of the NF types here at TypeC.
    I think it's because there aren't many ENFJs here that post on a regular basis. I tried to get my ENFJ sister interested in typology but she's too busy doing stuff with people irl *shivers*

  8. #38
    にゃん runvardh's Avatar
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    Eh, I think I just gave in too quick. Had something similar happen to me with an INFJ only she strung me along to keep a fantasy alive. Kind of funny, both seemed to start because it had been a while since they scratched the itch then they probably felt bad for using me afterward. Either way, I won't hold it against type; I just need to be careful I'm not the easy to reach fluffy pillow.
    Dreams are best served manifest and tangible.

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    I accept no responsibility, what so ever, for the fact that I exist; I do, however, accept full responsibility for what I do while I exist.

    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  9. #39
    The Black Knight Domino's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by SpottingTrains View Post
    Yeah, I'm not going to lie, gaining my trust is a very long road. The smoother it is the longer it takes.
    Truly. I'm the same way. Even when I know immediately that I've got you sized up, I still like to see things unroll in sane progression.
    eNFJ 4w3 sx/so 468 tritype
    Neutral Good
    EII-Fi subtype, Ethical/Empath, Delta/Beta
    RLUEI, Choleric/Melancholic
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    Researcher: VDI-P
    Dramatic>Sensitive>Serious

  10. #40
    Senior Member The Third Rider's Avatar
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    wow, no wonder I am single.
    ENFJ 3W4

    If you read this I am sorry to say that you just lost 5 seconds of your life that you wont be getting back.*

    *Actual time may vary.

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