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  1. #21
    にゃん runvardh's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by SpottingTrains View Post
    Yeah, I'm not going to lie, gaining my trust is a very long road. The smoother it is the longer it takes.
    It didn't help that she gradually started cutting off opportunities left and right till I figured "Fuckit!" sent her one last message over Facebook and gave her two weeks to respond. I didn't tell her she had two weeks, with how infrequently she was answering compared to what she had before I figured two weeks was enough time to just call it quits. As a P I get tired of taking the inititive repeatedly and either getting shrugged off or ignored.

    Before that crap happened she wanted to downgrade things to friends. When I'd act like a friend she'd get all tense like I wasn't doing enough. And when I seemed to have been doing enough to make her happy she'd go into guilt mode and pull back.

    Honestly, I'd welcome a longer road instead of one night just jumping all over me then cooling off from there.
    Dreams are best served manifest and tangible.

    INFP, 6w7, IEI

    I accept no responsibility, what so ever, for the fact that I exist; I do, however, accept full responsibility for what I do while I exist.

    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  2. #22
    Senior Member Kungpowish's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by runvardh View Post
    It didn't help that she gradually started cutting off opportunities left and right till I figured "Fuckit!" sent her one last message over Facebook and gave her two weeks to respond. I didn't tell her she had two weeks, with how infrequently she was answering compared to what she had before I figured two weeks was enough time to just call it quits. As a P I get tired of taking the inititive repeatedly and either getting shrugged off or ignored.

    Before that crap happened she wanted to downgrade things to friends. When I'd act like a friend she'd get all tense like I wasn't doing enough. And when I seemed to have been doing enough to make her happy she'd go into guilt mode and pull back.

    Honestly, I'd welcome a longer road instead of one night just jumping all over me then cooling off from there.
    Maybe she wanted more but didn't feel she deserved it? I know someone who broke up with me recently "for my own good". And at first I thought it was bs but they are still really hurting from what my eyes and out mutal friends tell me. So maybe she just couldn't accept what she needed. Groucho Marx put it best, "I refuse to be a member of any club that will have me" Funny words but the meaning can actually be kind of depressing.
    -There is nothing either good nor ill but thinking makes it so.

  3. #23
    Shaman BlackCat's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kungpowish View Post
    Why is that? I know that dealing with said emotions can be a drag but a sensitive person is sensitive to you too, I would think that kind of caring would appeal to people but it seems to drive a lot of people away

    #1 is a good way to talk about it. That person was just being polite but an ENFJ who was really into you would care MORE about you than others and seek to talk to you if you stopped, trust me, is that not what you meant by a sensitive person or is it still not what you want?
    The way I see it, I am an emotional person, and I don't want someone to bog me down with a ton of emotions all of the time. T's don't really do this in my experience, but they do have their emotions and do need to talk about it, but I'm not totally loaded down all of the time. When I'm totally bogged down then it's no good for me. I meant sensitive as in... They get offended by the context of things rather than the point of things, stuff like that. Just basically having way too much emotion for me to handle. I tend to mess up in how I communicate, and I need someone to realize that I'm just trying to convey a point and if I'm blunt then I'm not trying to be rude. I get the "you're rude" thing from Fe dominants a lot it seems... I just don't need that whole thing in my life (overly emotional, sensitive etc). I didn't mean sensitive as in sensitive to my needs, I meant it in a totally different way.

    I just prefer T's, specifically TJs.
    () 9w8-3w4-7w6 tritype.

    sCueI (primary Inquisition)

  4. #24
    Senior Member Kungpowish's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by BlackCat View Post
    I meant sensitive as in... They get offended by the context of things rather than the point of things, stuff like that. J
    Ok yeah, ENFJs are not for you then. Oh well, more for everyone else
    -There is nothing either good nor ill but thinking makes it so.

  5. #25
    Shaman BlackCat's Avatar
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    Yeah if someone can't handle that side of me then it would be a catastrophe waiting to happen. I just don't understand that really... Getting offended by a context and not a point. >_>
    () 9w8-3w4-7w6 tritype.

    sCueI (primary Inquisition)

  6. #26
    Senior Member Kungpowish's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by BlackCat View Post
    Yeah if someone can't handle that side of me then it would be a catastrophe waiting to happen. I just don't understand that really... Getting offended by a context and not a point. >_>
    Context is important, I have said once, "it's not what you said, it's how you said it" because the way you say things denotes how you feel about the person you are talking to. Even if you don't think about that at all and are just getting a point across that says, to an ENFJ, you don't care enough to consider how you say things. It may not be the best way of doing things but there is SOME logic to it.
    -There is nothing either good nor ill but thinking makes it so.

  7. #27
    にゃん runvardh's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kungpowish View Post
    Maybe she wanted more but didn't feel she deserved it? I know someone who broke up with me recently "for my own good". And at first I thought it was bs but they are still really hurting from what my eyes and out mutal friends tell me. So maybe she just couldn't accept what she needed. Groucho Marx put it best, "I refuse to be a member of any club that will have me" Funny words but the meaning can actually be kind of depressing.
    All the more reason I drag things out. I know that possibility because I did that once at 20 and every relationship I had after that has felt like 7 years bad luck. Actually, that reminds me, only a year and a half left...
    Dreams are best served manifest and tangible.

    INFP, 6w7, IEI

    I accept no responsibility, what so ever, for the fact that I exist; I do, however, accept full responsibility for what I do while I exist.

    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  8. #28
    Senior Member SpottingTrains's Avatar
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    I should of phrased my answer better. I was referring more to a full or perfect level of trust where I wouldn't be reluctant to hide anything. Lending someone money or trusting things that are outside of my emotional sphere I have no problem with.
    "That's the thing about girls. Every time they do something pretty, even if they're not much to look at, or even if they're sort of stupid, you fall half in love with them, and then you never know where the hell you are. Girls. Jesus Christ. They can drive you crazy. They really can."

  9. #29
    にゃん runvardh's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by SpottingTrains View Post
    I should of phrased my answer better. I was referring more to a full or perfect level of trust where I wouldn't be reluctant to hide anything. Lending someone money or trusting things that are outside of my emotional sphere I have no problem with.
    She jumped my bones after knowing me only 4 days.
    Dreams are best served manifest and tangible.

    INFP, 6w7, IEI

    I accept no responsibility, what so ever, for the fact that I exist; I do, however, accept full responsibility for what I do while I exist.

    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  10. #30
    Shaman BlackCat's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kungpowish View Post
    Context is important, I have said once, "it's not what you said, it's how you said it" because the way you say things denotes how you feel about the person you are talking to. Even if you don't think about that at all and are just getting a point across that says, to an ENFJ, you don't care enough to consider how you say things. It may not be the best way of doing things but there is SOME logic to it.
    That is just the opposite of how I think about it socially to be honest with you. It's the essence of what someone's saying, the real point, that matters to me. I try to care enough to sound non offensive, but sometimes it just doesn't happen. I do consider how to say things, but I consider a lot more what my point is and what the essence of what I'm getting across is. For me, this sort of thing is just a conflict across the board for me, I don't get along with Fe dominants that well. For me I really just don't think about the context too much, and more the point. That doesn't mean that I don't care about the context with what someone is saying, anger, overt happiness etc is obvious and taken into consideration, but it's still the point that matters to me. This is why I can sound blunt a lot of the time with my points and communication. Then when someone gets offended I'm like "Wait... What? What did I do wrong? :confused:" in my mind. I just simply have no idea why someone would get offended. That's where the conflict comes from.
    () 9w8-3w4-7w6 tritype.

    sCueI (primary Inquisition)

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