User Tag List

First 123412 Last

Results 11 to 20 of 121

  1. #11
    Senior Member SpottingTrains's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2009
    MBTI
    ENFJ
    Enneagram
    3w2
    Socionics
    EIE
    Posts
    446

    Default

    Overview: INFPs are idealistic people at the core, they always make distinctions in the form of dichotomies in their mind when presented with anything in life. It seems to be natural to do this, to have a very innate sense of how things really are, how they are separated in what they mean. INFPs are driven by their inner values, which is a network of emotions and attachments (negative and positive), this net is constantly being added to over time and starts developing at a very young age. This net of emotions is what is commonly where most decisions are made along (they are also made with values), it stores all past emotions. An INFP's values come from the person's experiences and philosophies in life, they are purely subjective. An INFP will generally avoid bad feelings, and with use of the net they naturally remember how to avoid them. A value is formed when a bad or good emotion is felt over and over by a common event, an example would be if the INFP really disliked spinach then they would make it a value to avoid spinach and try to not eat it again.

    An INFP's idealism is often inspired by a vision that they have as to how the world could be improved, the way the world SHOULD be. This will generally moderate an INFP's attitude, inspiring them to act on what would be best for a "greater good" in the situations they find themselves in. This may include getting the truth out, helping someone, or setting up for a good future. This view of how the world should be will either make them optimistic or pessimistic in their attitude. The pessimists will generally hope for the best but expect the worst, the optimists will hope for the best and expect the best. This is purely relative to the person.
    Everything that you wrote

    Just curious but what are some of the traits you dislike about the ENFJ or whatever turned you off from them. Just wondering if they were actually healthy ENFJs.
    "That's the thing about girls. Every time they do something pretty, even if they're not much to look at, or even if they're sort of stupid, you fall half in love with them, and then you never know where the hell you are. Girls. Jesus Christ. They can drive you crazy. They really can."

  2. #12
    Junior Member Ariel's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2009
    MBTI
    ENFJ
    Enneagram
    2
    Socionics
    ENFp
    Posts
    27

    Default

    Thanks for all of your answers, people!

    I'm still confused though, what is it that you don't like about ENFJs in relationships? Usually ENFJ's are really caring people focusing on their peers' well-being. Would seem natural for them to do so as well in a relationship!

  3. #13
    にゃん runvardh's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2007
    MBTI
    INFP
    Enneagram
    6w7 sx/so
    Socionics
    IEI
    Posts
    8,559

    Default

    I mostly worry about an ENFJ feeling like she needs to be my mommy. I already had one and she failed miserably. I just want a partner in crime...
    Dreams are best served manifest and tangible.

    INFP, 6w7, IEI

    I accept no responsibility, what so ever, for the fact that I exist; I do, however, accept full responsibility for what I do while I exist.

    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  4. #14
    Shaman BlackCat's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    MBTI
    ESFP
    Enneagram
    9w8 sx/sp
    Socionics
    SEE Fi
    Posts
    7,004

    Default

    I highly doubt these people were... Mature examples. Mature Fe dominants have been great, but I've only been acquaintances to them.

    As for what turned me off of these people? I'll give examples of the two I know.

    Number one- Well first off they showed that they cared... and it seemed like a lot at first. They listened to me, took me for who I was, etc. We could relate intuitively. Then I realized that they did that with everyone (like 30+ people that they talked to), and I didn't really feel that special. I had kept talking to them and such, and something just didn't really seem right to me. Like they were acting that way to just be nice, and it didn't really seem like the person cared. It was odd, there was no real conflict (most people I make friends with we disagree on something and get through it, and learn from that). It was like she was just... agreeing with me. It felt very fake. I did an experiment and stopped talking to her to see if she would talk to me, and sure enough, she didn't. I had had experiences before with Fe, and they weren't that great. I figured I'd give this person a chance, and I did, and they failed.

    Number two- She was just insane. She would cause emotional drama, would think that she knew who you really were (and failed miserably). When she thought she would know how someone really was she would gossip about them. This would cause emotional drama, and she would thrive on that and the negative attention she would give people. She also knew how to manipulate people's moods, and got frustrated with me since I resisted. She then tried to spread rumors, but I stood up for myself and basically said "F*ck you, prove that this happened". Then she basically doorslammed me.

    Both of these people were hyper emotional, they didn't seem to care about what my point was in a conversation if it sounded offensive (I'm sarcastic and blunt when comfortable with someone). If it was too blunt and I was too honest they would take offense to what I said, so I had to delicately word what I was saying and pad the truth so I could actually communicate. They would also randomly dump all of their superficial emotional stuff on me... and wouldn't really help me with my problems in return.

    They were unhealthy definitely. But as a whole Fe just seems kinda... Superficial to me. That's just the feeling I get. I've met a few older healthy ESFJs, and they didn't seem superficial to me at all. It's all subjective, and I've yet to be subjected IRL to an ENFJ that I can tolerate.

    EDIT: Forgot to mention that overly emotional and overly sensitive people in general are just... a turnoff. People who's emotions are very unstable.
    () 9w8-3w4-7w6 tritype.

    sCueI (primary Inquisition)

  5. #15
    Shaman BlackCat's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    MBTI
    ESFP
    Enneagram
    9w8 sx/sp
    Socionics
    SEE Fi
    Posts
    7,004

    Default

    Here is a post I made about the ideal mates for ENFJs and why, it was a quick "in-a-nutshell" post, but here it is.

    Quote Originally Posted by BlackCat
    INTP, ISFP, ESTP, INFP.

    However an ENFJ would drive me INSANE in a relationship (it depends on the person and not the types for the most part). That's just theory about INFPs. I'd say INTP or ESTP would be your best bet, in my experience having an F and having a T is good for balance, too much fleeting emotions or lack thereof of a more emotional person wouldn't cover all of the bases.

    REASONS-

    INTP- You are there to teach each other in life. With the ENFJ's inferior Ti and the INTP's inferior Fe, you can reinforce each other's weaknesses. One will represent what the other wants to cultivate in themselves. However this can also come with catastrophic failure if the two aren't mature.

    ISFP- According to theory, dominant Fi and dominant Fe go hand in hand (in theory though), since Fi wants to be nurtured and Fe nurtures, however there are many obstacles to overcome. I imagine the shared Se and Ni would make for interesting communication, since you would see where the other was coming from most of the time.

    INFP- See above, except the two partners are intuitive and may tolerate each other better with shared intuition.

    ESTP- The "activity" relationship according to socionics, the two people back up each other's weaknesses, and the differences are the relationship's strength. The shared extroversion makes the two enjoy each other, and you see where the other is coming from. One will cultivate what the other wants to make stronger in themselves.
    () 9w8-3w4-7w6 tritype.

    sCueI (primary Inquisition)

  6. #16
    Senior Member SpottingTrains's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2009
    MBTI
    ENFJ
    Enneagram
    3w2
    Socionics
    EIE
    Posts
    446

    Default

    I can relate to #1 a little bit but not to #2 at all.

    #1 reminds me more of when I was a lot younger. Not to the extreme that you portrayed but I definitely didn't feel like I had enough knowledge to participate fully. Trying to help someone when you don't have the experience to back it makes it hard to justify what you want to say. You want to help the person in whatever way possible but at the same time you don't know if what you are saying is good advice.

    Just some thoughts, definitely a sign of lack of confidence I would think.
    "That's the thing about girls. Every time they do something pretty, even if they're not much to look at, or even if they're sort of stupid, you fall half in love with them, and then you never know where the hell you are. Girls. Jesus Christ. They can drive you crazy. They really can."

  7. #17
    Senior Member Kungpowish's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2009
    MBTI
    ENFJ
    Enneagram
    two
    Socionics
    ESE
    Posts
    103

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by BlackCat View Post
    Forgot to mention that overly emotional and overly sensitive people in general are just... a turnoff. People who's emotions are very unstable.
    Why is that? I know that dealing with said emotions can be a drag but a sensitive person is sensitive to you too, I would think that kind of caring would appeal to people but it seems to drive a lot of people away

    #1 is a good way to talk about it. That person was just being polite but an ENFJ who was really into you would care MORE about you than others and seek to talk to you if you stopped, trust me, is that not what you meant by a sensitive person or is it still not what you want?
    -There is nothing either good nor ill but thinking makes it so.

  8. #18
    にゃん runvardh's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2007
    MBTI
    INFP
    Enneagram
    6w7 sx/so
    Socionics
    IEI
    Posts
    8,559

    Default

    Eh, unhealthy ENFJs... I'm still trying to numb the hurt from her calling me cold. One of the reasons why I'm looking at arguing more since some need that to get the feeling you truly do give a shit.
    Dreams are best served manifest and tangible.

    INFP, 6w7, IEI

    I accept no responsibility, what so ever, for the fact that I exist; I do, however, accept full responsibility for what I do while I exist.

    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  9. #19
    Senior Member SpottingTrains's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2009
    MBTI
    ENFJ
    Enneagram
    3w2
    Socionics
    EIE
    Posts
    446

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by runvardh View Post
    Eh, unhealthy ENFJs... I'm still trying to numb the hurt from her calling me cold. One of the reasons why I'm looking at arguing more since some need that to get the feeling you truly do give a shit.
    Yeah, I'm not going to lie, gaining my trust is a very long road. The smoother it is the longer it takes.
    "That's the thing about girls. Every time they do something pretty, even if they're not much to look at, or even if they're sort of stupid, you fall half in love with them, and then you never know where the hell you are. Girls. Jesus Christ. They can drive you crazy. They really can."

  10. #20
    Senior Member Kungpowish's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2009
    MBTI
    ENFJ
    Enneagram
    two
    Socionics
    ESE
    Posts
    103

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by SpottingTrains View Post
    Yeah, I'm not going to lie, gaining my trust is a very long road. The smoother it is the longer it takes.
    Do you ever feel like people would do more to earn your trust if you gave them more to start with? I find that if you make it clear you trust someone, and they aren't a jerk, they will try to maintain that trust. Whereas someone who knows you don't trust them may do things that would break your trust because there is nothing to lose.
    -There is nothing either good nor ill but thinking makes it so.

Similar Threads

  1. [ENFJ] ENFJ-ENFP Relationship
    By WieldingTheSword in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 6
    Last Post: 03-17-2017, 08:15 PM
  2. [ENFJ] Breaking ENFJ romantic relationships
    By Risen in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 2
    Last Post: 04-05-2010, 08:42 AM
  3. [ENFJ] ENFJ needs relationship advice please
    By Jonathanthegreat in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 4
    Last Post: 12-20-2009, 04:28 PM
  4. [ENFJ] ISFP (f) /ENFJ (m) relationship
    By Julie1962 in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 1
    Last Post: 07-05-2009, 09:15 AM
  5. [ENFJ] ENFJ in relationships
    By marmandahalf in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 35
    Last Post: 05-11-2009, 02:44 PM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
Single Sign On provided by vBSSO