I was reading about that being more of a P vs J thing on a website giving ways to distinguish between INFJ and INFP types. They were saying that ideally as leaders we learn to balance things out by saying both:
"We are out of milk. Can you please pick up some more?"
"Go! The light is green"
"I need some help moving these boxes because they're too heavy for me"
"I'm hungry. Let's get something to eat".
"Please put take off your shoes because they will make the carpet dirty"
and so on...
They also said that J types often assume that they are softening the bossiness by adding "please", but it is not always felt that way . P types are often ignored or not seen as authoritative enough because they are not asking directly enough. They feel it is so obvious, it is the same as requesting something, but it is not perceived that way.