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  1. #1
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    Default INFP partner - ISFJ?

    I'm really in love with an ISFJ girl from my class. In my opinion it is a very good match. She is rather secluded which pleases me very much. I'm also kind of a loner, I prefer being alone or with friends I know well. I don't want people I don't know to visit me at home. With an ISFJ I could live a bit isolated without having to go to events. I could talk to others about my ideas while she could meet her friends to talk about her life. As I really want to please and support my partner I would do everything to make her happy. I could help her becoming less worrying while she could help me manage my life better. I am also not materialistic, which is why my home is not that messy though I hate cleaning. As for love I prefer SF types a lot to NF, NT, and ST types. Basically she should be kind and not criticise me much. I have to commit it isn't easy to me to live with a successful girl, that's why I am finally sick of ESFPs. I am very fickle and I would prefer a girl that's more constant. Of course her judging preference shouldn't be too high, she shouldn't be very controlling. Controlling is okay but only if she stops asking when I tell her she doesn't need to. Frankly speaking, she shouldn't be overly intelligent. I am very intelligent but I can't manage discussions too well and prefer not to discuss too much. I also prefer dallying with sensing types, many intuitive people do interpret that as superficialness as I am determined and stop flirting when I think it doesn't work. Sure this suggests a judging tendency but I do know INFPs who act like that as well. Whereas SF types can't get enough of compliments. My grandma is an ISFJ. She does utter doubts but when I tell her that it's no problem she stops uttering. I think ESFJ and ISTJ do have similar approaches but very different. Both are much more superficial, ESFJs seek success and ISTJs are insensitive. That's probably because ESFJ tends to be the most extroverted type and ISTJ tends to be the most thinking type. And ISFJ is neither extroverted nor thinking. What personalitypage says is total bullshit. I think neither INTJ or INFJ nor ENFJ or ESFJ are a good match. All of them are too dominant to me.

  2. #2
    Phoenix Incarnate Sentura's Avatar
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    it wouldn't hurt to put that block of text into paragraphs for easier readability.

    you're in love and it reflects on your post in that you think other types can never be ideal for you. you're trying to change the facts so that you can somehow justify your love for this girl.

    that's not to say it won't work as a relationship, but i'm not certain how much happiness this would truly yield you.
    i hunt INXPs for bounty
    FUNCTION ORDER FOR THOSE THAT CANNOT UNDERSTAND WHAT ENXP MEANS: Ne > Ni > Fi=Ti > *

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  3. #3
    Seriously Delirious Udog's Avatar
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    Are you dating this ISFJ yet? Falling in love with a girl you aren't even dating is a huge INFP No-No.

    Otherwise, ISFJ seems to be a legit enough match for the INFP. It would be tough to get off the ground, and communication (or lack thereof) could be an issue, but otherwise it could be fairly complimentary.

    However, I think you are seeing an idealized version of ISFJs instead of who they really are. I think your grandma backs off when you tell her to in a way that your wife or girlfriend won't.

  4. #4
    Magical BlackCat's Avatar
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    I highly doubt you're "in love", you just have a large crush or just a crush at this point. You need to get things rolling like Udog said, start dating. There's nothing stopping you. Don't over idealize, everyone has their flaws and bad sides. Chances are this ISFJ isn't much like your grandma too.

    Also... Please break up your post into paragraphs. I honestly couldn't read over all of it.
    () 9w8-3w4-7w6 tritype.

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  5. #5
    Phoenix Incarnate Sentura's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by BlackCat View Post
    I highly doubt you're "in love", you just have a large crush or just a crush at this point. You need to get things rolling like Udog said, start dating. There's nothing stopping you. Don't over idealize, everyone has their flaws and bad sides. Chances are this ISFJ isn't much like your grandma too.

    Also... Please break up your post into paragraphs. I honestly couldn't read over all of it.
    a crush is defined as being in love... just pointing out.
    i hunt INXPs for bounty
    FUNCTION ORDER FOR THOSE THAT CANNOT UNDERSTAND WHAT ENXP MEANS: Ne > Ni > Fi=Ti > *

    ...people tell me i have wildfires in my eyes

  6. #6
    Senior Member Snow Turtle's Avatar
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    I'd suggest not getting involved in a romantic relationship due to the reasons listed. However go for the ISFJ.

  7. #7
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kai View Post
    I'd suggest not getting involved in a romantic relationship due to the reasons listed. However go for the ISFJ.
    Well, I'll just try it. I don't see why it couldn't work. Two well-developed individuals of any type can enjoy a healthy relationship. Since most people stop talking to me when I start discussing my favourite topics (sexuality, death, nazis, lunatics) and stuff I should better not discuss in a relationship. Friends can give me everything but affection.

    I really don't care about conventions. I don't want a partner who is very rich or successful. The only thing I care about is affection. But that's what I miss in most types. I don't need no money, I just need love. That's why I think a partner who is "perfect" isn't ideal. I would be jealous and I couldn't love them then. I don't have no demands because they are too difficult to me. Just affection. Maybe I never got many affection.

    I don't want people to visit me because then I couldn't elope. I like making a profile, make just everyone visit it and then delete it because it overwhelms me. I don't want to eat regularly or sleep enough because there are more important things to do.

    I could be more realistic, of course. But then again I won't because I simply don't adapt. I do what I want but never hurt anyone because I avoid them.

    You could say INFP is a better match. But I don't think so. I get bored very easily. I would leave the relationship after three days. The only thing that keeps a relationship going is differences. The reason why I think ISFJ is a good match is that I would neither get bored nor have many arguments. I am also masochistic, the idea of a perfect world disgusts me. I would rather lead a stressful relationship than a "happy" and thus petty one. I seek excitement. The only "no-no" I could think of was indifference and comparison. Turning a relationship into a community of purpose is something that would bring me down forever. I would instantly leave the relationship and start promiscuous sex and substance abuse.

    I should start dating, yeah. But I
    1. Get satisfaction from thinking about it rather than doing it. So it's a time without depression. It motivates me to do something instead of thinking about it. I can't live with reality, so why should I?
    2. Would be more faithful afterwards. The easier it is, the less seriously I take it.

    That was really exhausting. I think I'll just kill myself now. Well, that was a joke. I am weak sometimes, but aren't you?

    Yeah, I hate paragraphs.

    Should I press "Submit Reply" now? I am not as lunatic as you could perceive me as. I just do have a lot of doubts and the abilities to think about them.

  8. #8
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    Well, when I wrote that I felt kinda offended. I just think waiting is not a bad thing. I personally don't think not dating instantly is that bad. Well, I'm 15 in reality and 30 in mind so it's hard to find someone. I say many things without taking them too seriously. I really write everything down, even if it sounds sick to others. I write things I've read and things that come to mind. I am really diverse and could adapt to a wife very well. My behaviour can lean from ESFP to INTJ. From total exhibition to total concealment. I should become an actor.

  9. #9
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    Oh well yes, about romantic relationship. I don't know what I would call a romantic relationship. But to me it doesn't mean everything should be 'nice'. It should be passionate. I am a 7, an enthusiast.

  10. #10
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    I've had very bad luck with any sensors. Been married to 3, engaged to 4. Things seem great at the beginning but subtle differences seem to come out like meanings of words, expectations, and flexibility. Maybe I've made bad choices but I am beginning to think that for this ENFP being with an intuitive is very important.

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