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  1. #11
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    Quote Originally Posted by popeye1947 View Post
    I've had very bad luck with any sensors. Been married to 3, engaged to 4. Things seem great at the beginning but subtle differences seem to come out like meanings of words, expectations, and flexibility. Maybe I've made bad choices but I am beginning to think that for this ENFP being with an intuitive is very important.
    Yes, I think so too now. It's hard to relate to sensors.

  2. #12
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    In the meantime I'd say ENFJs and INFJs are really awesome and INTJ are cute too. Just ESFJs are difficult.
    (Please don't reply lol, it's over.)

  3. #13
    Senior Member Snow Turtle's Avatar
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    This is certainly an old thread. I'm just somewhat surprised that you would rather have a stressful relationship rather than a positive one. There comes along the issue that a relationship is about meeting the needs of two people, rather than satisfying one person. And honestly the idea of keeping someone within a negative relationship is not really pleasent, why would you want to do that to someone else?

  4. #14
    No moss growing on me Giggly's Avatar
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    I say go for it!

    Yes.

    edit: oops I only read the OP.

  5. #15
    Junior Member StormySunshine's Avatar
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    My mom is ISFJ, and honestly, one of the main reasons I'm still single is a constant fear that whoever I marry will end up being just like her. Not that she's a bad person, I just know that my whole life would be miserable being treated on a daily basis that way. I try to stay away from Sensors like death when it comes to relationships...of course, like your average INFJ, I'm looking for something long term and meaningful.

    I would agree with one of the other posts...ISFJ's seem ideal at first, but that fades. We see the world in totally different ways.

  6. #16
    Senior Member Nonsensical's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by BlackCat View Post
    I highly doubt you're "in love", you just have a large crush or just a crush at this point. You need to get things rolling like Udog said, start dating. There's nothing stopping you. Don't over idealize, everyone has their flaws and bad sides. Chances are this ISFJ isn't much like your grandma too.

    Also... Please break up your post into paragraphs. I honestly couldn't read over all of it.
    You can't tell somebody they aren't in love, BC. You can't rationalize an emotion.

    Besides, how would you know if he was or not? And he can type however he wants.
    Is it that by its indefiniteness it shadows forth the heartless voids and immensities of the universe, and thus stabs us from behind with the thought of annihilation, when beholding the white depths of the milky way?

  7. #17
    No moss growing on me Giggly's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by StormySunshine View Post
    My mom is ISFJ, and honestly, one of the main reasons I'm still single is a constant fear that whoever I marry will end up being just like her. Not that she's a bad person, I just know that my whole life would be miserable being treated on a daily basis that way. I try to stay away from Sensors like death when it comes to relationships...of course, like your average INFJ, I'm looking for something long term and meaningful.

    I would agree with one of the other posts...ISFJ's seem ideal at first, but that fades. We see the world in totally different ways.
    I would like to know why in the world so many guys on this forum who have ISFJ mother's think that their girlfriend/wife, if she is an ISFJ will be like their mother? Newsflash: You're girlfriend is not your mother! And I can assure you, any woman you date, no matter what type she is, will NOT want to be your mother either. Mothering a guy you're dating is not sexy. Taking care of him, yes. Mothering, in that motherly kind of way, no. I think if an ISFJ starts mothering a guy, then she's probably not sexually attracted to him.

    Also any thread you put in an N section, asking about relations with SJ's won't get much support there.

  8. #18
    Junior Member StormySunshine's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Giggly View Post
    I would like to know why in the world so many guys on this forum who have ISFJ mother's think that their girlfriend/wife, if she is an ISFJ will be like their mother? Newsflash: You're girlfriend is not your mother! And I can assure you, any woman you date, no matter what type she is, will NOT want to be your mother either. Mothering a guy you're dating is not sexy. Taking care of him, yes. Mothering, in that motherly way, no.
    Probably because INFJs are looking for perfection, and they see their ISFJ mothers as the opposite.

    To clarify something though, I didn't mean that I didn't want the relationship I had with my mother as an intimate relationship; what I meant was that I didn't want the type of relationship my mom has with my dad (if that makes sense). My relationship with my mom, although at times strained, had some very wonderful moments where she fought for me tooth and nail. Overall, I was mostly left to fend for myself, which suited my INJ personality just fine.

    My dad seems to have no problem dealing with her ISFJ black and white assertiveness, but I would not only find it stifling, but would constantly feel like a failure. I cringe at the things she says to him, and have seen how over the years he has changed. I'm not talking a mother-son relationship here...but a husband-wife one.

    My sister-in-law is also an SJ, and though my brother deals with her just fine, even thriving at times, I wilt whenever she feels comfortable enough with me to speak her mind freely. The day I ran out of their house in tears was the last day I was going to try to get close to her. It's all business now between us, which works out just fine.

    I'm not looking for a relationship where I have to constantly work in order to have harmony, and I'm not looking for a relationship where I have to constantly be on guard against disrupting another's fragile view of the world. I want to be completely free and open in my relationship.

    I understand that there are different degrees of ISFJ out there, and under the right circumstances I could be happy with one, however, I think finding someone like that would be even more rare than finding a like minded INFJ or INFP. Of course, maybe it's just my jaded opinion speaking.

    I was certainly in no way talking about dating someone who would have a similar relationship to me that my mother had to me. In a lot of ways, that might not be bad, though. Like I said, she gave me lots of space, and stuck up for me when no one else would. Although to my romantic side, there's still a lot lacking in that type of relationship.

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