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[NF] Why NFs pity themselves so much ?

Virtual ghost

Complex paradigm
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Jun 6, 2008
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19,769
I will do something what I should have done long ago.


I will erase the OP to show that my real intention was not to hurt someone.
My only real crime was that I was using people as guinea-pigs.


If you are curious what was in the OP you have it in post 2 .
 
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Synarch

Once Was
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I am watching the NF forum all the time and there is something that I can't overlook.

What I can't overlook is how many post here are written in the stile : I am depressed, do others like me, I suck at life, why people don't like me and stuff like that.

In NT forum there are similar posts but there is a smaller amount of them and I would dare to say that conversations are more constructive.

Here you just have a emofest of some sort and it is almost like you are making eachother depressed. (and enjoy it)


I am sorry but I really don't understand what you are trying to achive if you have a goal in the first place. Are you just venting ? Or you really need attention of others to talk to you about emotions you have at the moment?

I think NT's are just better at repressing and hiding negative emotions. For example, I know many INTJ's and INTP's who just submerge bad life experiences like dead bodies. But, when it bubbles up, they totally lose their shit.
 

prplchknz

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yupp
1.)what I want to say I can't because then I'll get in trouble for attacking another member.

2.)unless you want me killing people in real life you best let me vent on here. And no I don't enjoy it.
 

OrangeAppled

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Venting & relating :yes:. NFs feel alienated a lot, so relating to our kind gives us some strength. Often times, friends & family don't understand what we're saying (we're too abstract....we're too emotional...etc.).

Plus, we like to help people, and we're generally not the tough love sort, so we help through encouragement and understanding. What seems like wallowing to you is actually pretty constructive and promotes growth in NFs.
 

Thalassa

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Wow. Your question would lead me to ask why INTJs are such bossy, judgemental a-holes.

But to answer your question, NFs don't feel the strong need for "structure" and "goals" that you do. NFs also thrive on caring for other people, and sometimes that involves sad feelings.
 

Synarch

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Venting & relating :yes:. NFs feel alienated a lot, so relating to our kind gives us some strength. Often times, friends & family don't understand what we're saying (we're too abstract....we're too emotional...etc.).

Plus, we like to help people, and we're generally not the tough love sort, so we help through encouragement and understanding. What seems like wallowing to you is actually pretty constructive and promotes growth in NFs.

T = moving away from people. F = moving toward people. F-types may feel more alienated because they value connection. T-types may feel more overwhelmed by people because they value separation. Just thinking out loud.
 

runvardh

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Yeah, I'm mostly just tracking down strings to bat at so I don't start climbing the walls at work.
 

OrangeAppled

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Oh yeah, and many times NFs know what their solution is; there's usually some admission of it in their post. They've considered the many possibilities, and now it's getting past their feelings in order to act that is the issue. So by venting, they have released those feelings and can now move on & do what they need to do.
 

Synarch

Once Was
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I am watching the NF forum all the time and there is something that I can't overlook.

What I can't overlook is how many post here are written in the stile : I am depressed, do others like me, I suck at life, why people don't like me and stuff like that.

In NT forum there are similar posts but there is a smaller amount of them and I would dare to say that conversations are more constructive.

Here you just have a emofest of some sort and it is almost like you are making eachother depressed. (and enjoy it)


I am sorry but I really don't understand what you are trying to achive if you have a goal in the first place. Are you just venting ? Or you really need attention of others to talk to you about emotions you have at the moment?

#1 Closer attention to your spelling will help your argument come across more successfully.

#2 I am curious at the process of feeling that made you feel compelled to inquire on this subject. By referring to an "emofest", a clearly pejorative phrase, one might be inclined to believe that you have an axe to grind. So, the real mystery here might be why a discussion of negative feelings makes you uncomfortable? Do you fear that signs of weakness in others are contagious and, as such, a threat to your own tenuous system of emotional control?
 
V

violaine

Guest
Hmm, I don't see a great difference between the thread titles in either forum after browsing quickly. ("ENTP Ennui", anyone?) Could we at least have examples of these threads or actual stats if you are going to cite them in the OP?

I don't know that NFs pity themselves. I don't. I would think the answer to a generalized question as to why NFs might commiserate with others, (note, not just NFs), is because we are conscious of building morale and we enjoy helping others.

A side point. NTs are not emotion free, there are plenty of very emotion laden posts from NTs. e.g. Your post has rather an annoyed tone than a truly inquiring one. They may not be the more gentle emotions, so perhaps some NTs are blind to that? NTs just seem more attached to and passionate about concepts and their ideas than people (though it isn't mutually exclusive).
 
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jenocyde

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I think NT's are just better at repressing and hiding negative emotions.

No.

T = moving away from people. F = moving toward people. F-types may feel more alienated because they value connection. T-types may feel more overwhelmed by people because they value separation. Just thinking out loud.

Yes.

Hmm, I don't see a great difference between the thread titles in either forum after browsing quickly. ("ENTP Ennui", anyone?) Could we at least have examples of these threads or actual stats if you are going to site them in the OP?

...

A side point. NTs are not emotion free, there are plenty of very emotion laden posts from NTs. e.g. Your post has rather an annoyed tone than a truly inquiring one. They may not be the more gentle emotions, so perhaps some NTs are blind to that? NTs just seem more attached to and passionate about concepts and their ideas than people (though it isn't mutually exclusive).

Hell yes.
 

Synarch

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Hmm, I don't see a great difference between the thread titles in either forum after browsing quickly. ("ENTP Ennui", anyone?) Could we at least have examples of these threads or actual stats if you are going to site them in the OP?

See. I actually get depressed a lot. I just have a harder time letting that vulnerability out in the open. Though, I work on being honest about it because, really, why should I hide it? I feel like I have to ignore those feelings as they threaten my need to feel in control of my self.
 
V

violaine

Guest
^:( :hug: Indeed, why should you hide it.

(And that is the natural NF response, I suppose. Concern for others' wellbeing and expressing it.)
 

Synarch

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^:( :hug: Indeed, why should you hide it.

(And that is the natural NF response, I suppose. Concern for others wellbeing and expressing it.)

I think it's more like...

NF = identification with others. A personal attitude toward the world.
NT = reservation from others. A depersonalized attitude toward the world.
 
V

violaine

Guest
^I was just trying to make you feel better. :p (j/k <--- I have to put that in there lest this devolves into a discussion about caring = dishonesty.)
 

jenocyde

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I have a multitude of emotions (although they are not as easily stimulated as some other people's) When I feel it, I feel it. I choose to deal with private things privately, but that doesn't mean that I don't deal with them.

For instance, my irl life friends are wondering why I have been so out of sorts lately. My forum friends may know why if they've been reading my posts. My irl friends think I'm repressing. But I have been working things out in my own way. Some online people think I'm repressing, but they don't know how much I depend on my irl friends. I don't need everyone I know involved in every aspect of my psyche. I just scatter it about and take it to the streets, but I deal with everything that comes up in the way that works for me.

I imagine that NFs and all types on here do the same. Is there something you would like to talk about Antisocial?
 

Synarch

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I imagine that NFs and all types on here do the same. Is there something you would like to talk about Antisocial?

I think he just needs some of these: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug:

Ass out Pelvis out, of course.
 
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