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  1. #291
    Queen hunter Virtual ghost's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Orangey View Post
    Perhaps I would understand better if you revealed the insight that you managed to glean from the reactions in this thread. I'm curious to hear what it is.

    The differences between NFPs and NFJs and the story who feels what.


    A number of links and new terms came up.


    Form this thread it looks that what NT could see something as self pity is just a way NF sort their feelings. This occured to me but I didnt have any real insights. But it was not thinking that this is so important for them.
    Since don't relate to that trait. Since my emotional exchanges with others are minimal.



    That NTPs will be somewhat baffled by my apprach.
    While NTJ did not interfere for some reason. Maybe the are just scaning or they just don't care.


    Quote Originally Posted by heart View Post
    If you haven't tried it, you might find therapy a more valid and productive way to answer these questions you express here. Sincerely.
    In the case this is directed at me.

    There is no point in doing that. Since we are in good realations and always have been.
    But she needed time to get used to having a son like me and I have learned to keep my mouth shut. Alos I have learned how to use less Te in certain sitations. The problem does not exist anymore.

  2. #292
    Protocol Droid Athenian200's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Antisocial one View Post
    Another "problem" is that NF act very differently when they are in normal mode or when they are emotionally charged. So what they say in normal mode probably will not apply to situations when they are angry.

    Which is the side I am far less familiar with. Since I have a trouble understanding the fact that someone can get so emotionally charged. When someone attacks him/her on verbal level.
    I am pretty sure that this thread would not got so far in the case that the OP was some "normal" post and to be honest this thread has been quite insightful for me. Since the "insult" has triggered a part of NF they try to hide in many cases.
    Aha! Yes, I can see what you were trying to do here. Trying different things to evoke a particular response so you can figure out both the trigger, and the way the altered state modifies their response to stimuli. You should know that I've done the same thing to NTs in some cases... especially when I was a lot younger. They act differently when angry as well.
    I am perfectly aware of the fact I that I am coming as an arrogant asshole in this thread. But I am only trying to understand.

    For example when I was 10 I already had the skill to move my mother to tears and I stll have a problem with the idea that a parent can be so fragile.

    While I didn't do anything "special". I was just being rude and/or insensitive.
    This is kind of interesting. You were AWARE that you were coming across that way? Weird, even I didn't notice it until you pointed it out. I guess I'm used to dismissing stuff like that as immaturity/obliviousness and not reacting to it. It's possible that I've gotten too good at setting the "IgnoreEmotionalContext()" flag when I see "NT" in a person's type. It's scary how much I miss sometimes.

    What's interesting about this is... you aren't sounding like an NT. At all. You sound more like a really damaged F. NTs tend to be genuinely oblivious. You're not, you've just reached a point where you enjoy denying people the emotional responses they want, and amusing yourself by watching their reaction to your coldness. Getting a kind of thrill out of using emotional awareness while doing inhumane research.

    In fact, I kind of think you might be an INFx with Enneagram type 5 or 8... just not a very healthy one.

  3. #293
    Queen hunter Virtual ghost's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Athenian200 View Post

    This is kind of interesting. You were AWARE that you were coming across that way? Weird, even I didn't notice it until you pointed it out. I guess I'm used to dismissing stuff like that as immaturity/obliviousness and not reacting to it. It's possible that I've gotten too good at setting the "IgnoreEmotionalContext()" flag when I see "NT" in a person's type. It's scary how much I miss sometimes.

    What's interesting about this is... you aren't sounding like an NT. At all. You sound more like a really damaged F. NTs tend to be genuinely oblivious. You're not, you've just reached a point where you enjoy denying people the emotional responses they want, and amusing yourself by watching their reaction to your coldness. Getting a kind of thrill out of using emotional awareness while doing inhumane research.

    In fact, I kind of think you might be an INFx with Enneagram type 5 or 8... just not a very healthy one.
    I can understand why you would say this.

    But the thing that I was more of less oblivious about emotions for the last quarter of the century. The reason why I look like this is becuse my questions and dilemmas about emotions have accumulated. So this is why this is the main topic for me.
    Which is why I am forcing the topic all over the forum.
    I know I have a weakness in understanding of emotions. (that is main reason why I am here in the first place)
    Plus I can get an insight without effecting my environment this way. What means that it will be more objective. (probably)


    As for mother thing:well it was hard to miss that. I mean I would be blind/deaf not see a person sitting in the kitchen and crying for 30 minutes.

    Plus the there was a ESFJ garandmother around to give me lections on how mean I was towards her or someone. This sound like I was really bad towards my mother but entire thing comes down to using a harsh laguage in a wrong moment(s).


    I am sorry but this was impossible to miss.




    As for the thread.
    What? You did not noticed that this thread is reated badly and people are saying that I am provoking just for the sake of doing it? Or that they say it in a more subtile way in some posts.

    When I see that kind of reaction I usually try to smooth things out. (But not always)
    Since my social contact are very limited I have to protect them.


    Plus rep. which you didn't saw.


    Sorry, but you will have to try harder to convince me that I am a feeler.

  4. #294
    Protocol Droid Athenian200's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Antisocial one View Post
    I can understand why you would say this.

    But the thing that I was more of less oblivious about emotions for the last quarter of the century. The reason why I look like this is becuse my questions and dilemmas about emotions have accumulated. So this is why this is the main topic for me.
    Which is why I am forcing the topic all over the forum.
    I know I have a weakness in understanding of emotions. (that is main reason why I am here in the first place)
    Plus I can get an insight without effecting my environment what means that it will be more objective. (probably)


    As for mother thing:well it was hard to miss that. I mean I would be blind/deaf not see a person sitting in the kitchen and crying for 30 minutes.

    Plus the there was a ESFJ garandmother around to give me lections on how mean I was towards her or someone. This sound like I was really bad towards my mother but entire thing comes down to using a harsh laguage in a wrong moment(s).


    I am sorry but this was impossible to miss.
    Okay, that explains that.


    As for the thread.
    What? You did not noticed that this thread is reated badly and people are saying that I am provoking just for the sake of doing it? Or that they say it in a more subtile way in some posts.

    When I see that kind of reaction I usually try to smooth things out. (But not always)
    Since my social contact are very limited I have to protect them.
    Well, I guess I saw it, but I just kind of dismissed it as them taking your criticisms personally, because a lot of people don't get that NTs criticize impersonally, and often take a challenging stance that doesn't have anything to do with a personal attack. I just assumed that must be what was happening here, because it does happen a lot.

    Sorry, but you will have to try harder to convince me that I am a feeler.
    Well, it was just an idea. I'm not certain enough of it to try and convince you if you don't see it.

  5. #295
    darkened dreams labyrinthine's Avatar
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    I'm a little conflicted about resurrecting this thread, but a little something pertinent came up. I'm not sure if other types realize this, but there is a lot of humor available in pity talk. It is a kind of self-deprecating humor that might be partly an NF thing. I just made a post that I'm guessing some would read as a blatant self-pity thing, but it struck me so damn funny. I can't really explain that type of humor, but just now realized how some might misread it.
    Step into my metaphysical room of mirrors.
    Fear of reality creates myopic morality
    So I guess it means there is trouble until the robins come
    (from Blue Velvet)

  6. #296
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    Quote Originally Posted by toonia View Post
    I'm not sure if other types realize this, but there is a lot of humor available in pity talk. It is a kind of self-deprecating humor that might be partly an NF thing. I just made a post that I'm guessing some would read as a blatant self-pity thing, but it struck me so damn funny. I can't really explain that type of humor, but just now realized how some might misread it.
    There is A lot of self-irony.

    Others seem to think I'm about to slit my wrists while I'm drowning in my own negativity. I'm not. Honest. They don't get it. I laugh. End of story.

    If you can't laugh at yourself, you won't be able to laugh at others.

  7. #297
    Senior Member ENFJ_Catholic's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Antisocial one View Post
    I will do something what I should have done long ago.


    I will erase the OP to show that my real intention was not to hurt someone.
    My only real crime was that I was using people as guinea-pigs.


    If you are curious what was in the OP you have it in post 2 .
    What curious passive agression. :steam:

    We're self-pitying because NTs don't get us, refuse to get us, or expect us to walk on water intellectually first.

    Okay, you asked...we answered. I'm just tired of the usual NT BS...that's why some of us NFs disappear easily enough....when introverted NTs come out of their shells...
    "In the end it is not a matter of reason; it is a matter of love." - St. Thomas More

  8. #298
    Queen hunter Virtual ghost's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by toonia View Post
    I'm a little conflicted about resurrecting this thread, but a little something pertinent came up. I'm not sure if other types realize this, but there is a lot of humor available in pity talk. It is a kind of self-deprecating humor that might be partly an NF thing. I just made a post that I'm guessing some would read as a blatant self-pity thing, but it struck me so damn funny. I can't really explain that type of humor, but just now realized how some might misread it.

    Well, I am the last person that will get annoyed by this resurrection.

    I am quite expressed thinker but to me it looks like that NFs like to have an emotion around in most cases. But sometimes it looks like they would rather feel (slightly) bad instead of trully apathic.
    What can look as masochism.


    Personally have noticed that their environment is usually trying to get them back on their feet with humor. So entire thing looks as if they need to go throught unhappiness/depression to be able to feel fine again.

  9. #299
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    Quote Originally Posted by Antisocial one View Post
    Personally have noticed that their environment is usually trying to get them back on their feet with humor. So entire thing looks as if they need to go throught unhappiness/depression to be able to feel fine again.
    That's right. It's a necessary process to work through all the emotions. A rollercoaster-ride.

  10. #300
    darkened dreams labyrinthine's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Antisocial one View Post
    Well, I am the last person that will get annoyed by this resurrection.

    I am quite expressed thinker but to me it looks like that NFs like to have an emotion around in most cases. But sometimes it looks like they would rather feel (slightly) bad instead of trully apathic.
    What can look as masochism.


    Personally have noticed that their environment is usually trying to get them back on their feet with humor. So entire thing looks as if they need to go throught unhappiness/depression to be able to feel fine again.
    The self-depreciating humor dynamic might be comparable to the "what is grosser than gross" jokes. Having natural aversions to things makes it funny to exploit that as a way of laughing at oneself for having aversions. To exaggerate distress to the point of the ridiculous or to just play with those natural responses can be a type of humor. It makes you realize it isn't that bad. My NT partner and I actually toy with this kind of humor as part of our reporte'.
    Step into my metaphysical room of mirrors.
    Fear of reality creates myopic morality
    So I guess it means there is trouble until the robins come
    (from Blue Velvet)

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