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  1. #271
    Protocol Droid Athenian200's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by heart View Post
    I used to be really distrustful of other people until I was in my mid twenties. Now I can look back and realize how I pushed people away with this and I feel awful about it. Plus I suffered lack of growth in certain areas of myself due to isolation.

    I had INTJ father who was ultra distrustful of others and I let a lot of his beliefs influence me and then life helped to reinforce them. But now I try to take people on a case by case basis.
    I don't think you should feel guilty about "pushing people away," as if you owed it to them not to. It's just a choice; you can let them in, or not. Perhaps you just weren't ready to grow in those ways yet. Letting people in before you're mentally or emotionally ready for them can be a mistake.

  2. #272
    Revelation Lauren Ashley's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Athenian200 View Post
    I'd say so.
    Could it be because you are over-analyzing?

  3. #273
    heart on fire
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    Quote Originally Posted by Athenian200 View Post
    I don't think you should feel guilty about "pushing people away," as if you owed it to them not to. It's just a choice; you can let them in, or not. Perhaps you just weren't ready to grow in those ways yet. Letting people in before you're mentally or emotionally ready for them can be a mistake.
    I cheated myself out of friendships and personal growth. I made other people feel that I did not want their friendship. These two things are regrets for me and always will be. It wasn't that I wasn't ready. It was that I couldn't see that I was operating under false ideas that needed to change.

  4. #274
    Protocol Droid Athenian200's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lauren Ashley View Post
    Could it be because you are over-analyzing?
    Possibly, but that's such a vague statement that it doesn't make any sense to me in the context you're using it in.

  5. #275
    Revelation Lauren Ashley's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Athenian200 View Post
    Possibly, but that's such a vague statement that it doesn't make any sense to me in the context you're using it in..
    Sorry, I'm feeling lazy.

    Could it be that you are over-analyzing people/situations? Do you try to figure out the right thing to say/do, if someone approves/disapproves of what you say/do, and if you are coming off the way you intend to? Since you list your type as INFJ, I'm just assuming that could be part of the problem because many INFJs I know have this issue.

  6. #276
    Protocol Droid Athenian200's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by heart View Post
    I cheated myself out of friendships and personal growth. I made other people feel that I did not want their friendship. These two things are regrets for me and always will be. It wasn't that I wasn't ready. It was that I couldn't see that I was operating under false ideas that needed to change.
    Well, feeling like you cheated yourself out of friendships and personal growth... is a more than valid regret. I just hope you haven't additionally come to feel guilty because you've been convinced that you "owed" those people friendship, because that's not true.

  7. #277
    Protocol Droid Athenian200's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lauren Ashley View Post
    Sorry, I'm feeling lazy.

    Could it be that you are over-analyzing people/situations? Do you try to figure out the right thing to say/do, if someone approves/disapproves of what you say/do, and if you are coming off the way you intend to? Since you list your type as INFJ, I'm just assuming that could be part of the problem because I know many INFJs I know have this issue.
    Yes, that's one of my issues. But if it were just that, I could probably work through it. The thing is, I have a whole bunch of things on top of that one. I'm actually afraid people would harm me due to some of them.

  8. #278
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    Quote Originally Posted by Athenian200 View Post
    I think it's possible you're just a weak E. Need human contact on a daily basis? That's quite a bit, almost... needy, actually (although I could see an E being like that). I'd like to have more human contact than I do, but nowhere near that much.

    I don't think there's anything wrong with it, I just... well, I'd prefer you weren't so quick to dismiss my experience in order to reaffirm that F = Social. If I seemed to dismiss yours, it was kind of a defensive thing. I especially don't trust people who like the outdoors or parties.

    Uh, not all people who like the outdoors are extroverted. Often when I'm outdoors I'm alone. I live in West Virginia so I spend a lot of solitary time enjoying nature.

    I also didn't quite say that I like parties I said that I have been capable of enjoying them.

    I didn't dismiss your experience, I was only pointing out that all I_Fs aren't the same, just as you have done excessively in this thread. I

    'm not a weak E. I never get E on tests, and when I've been at work or going to class all day the first thing I want to do is run into my apartment and slam the door and be alone. Being around people all the time drains me.

    Wanting human contact each day isn't needy, it's human. Human contact can be as simple as saying hello to a neighbor or having a five minute conversation with my mom. I am more "balanced" in my percentages of I and E, though. I'm just not an extreme introvert.

    I'm sorry you're so defensive but my first encounter of you is that you were bashing NFPs like there was no tomorrow. I feel bad for you now, though, now that I've been able to understand more that you're coming from a place of defense, not offence. Bear in mind that I've come at some points as a place of defense against you because of what I perceived as your original dismissal of INFps, too.

  9. #279
    Protocol Droid Athenian200's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by marmalade.sunrise View Post
    Uh, not all people who like the outdoors are extroverted. Often when I'm outdoors I'm alone. I live in West Virginia so I spend a lot of solitary time enjoying nature.
    Oh, I know that. Some Extraverts don't even like the outdoors. I just happen to dislike nature. It's nothing personal.

    I didn't dismiss your experience, I was only pointing out that all I_Fs aren't the same, just as you have done excessively in this thread.
    Oh, okay then. I can understand that.
    Wanting human contact each day isn't needy, it's human. Human contact can be as simple as saying hello to a neighbor or having a five minute conversation with my mom. I am more "balanced" in my percentages of I and E, though. I'm just not an extreme introvert.
    Well, it's not needy for you. I just meant that it seems a little needy to me on the surface, because that would be considered extremely emotionally demanding by the standards most of the people I know use.
    I'm sorry you're so defensive but my first encounter of you is that you were bashing NFPs like there was no tomorrow. I feel bad for you now, though, now that I've been able to understand more that you're coming from a place of defense, not offence. Bear in mind that I've come at some points as a place of defense against you because of what I perceived as your original dismissal of INFps, too.
    Okay, then. The original reason I started dismissing INFPs, though... was because I felt attacked by a few of them, and then I just kind of developed a negative attitude towards them. After that happened, I found myself looking for ways to dissociate myself from them, because many of the NTs I knew were accusing NFs as a whole of exactly the same behaviors that I found fault with in those INFPs (and in that particular case, those particular INFPs were mostly responsible for creating that negative image).

    So I've just had to try since that time to realize that I'm in a different situation now, and these INFPs aren't necessarily my enemies.

  10. #280
    resonance entropie's Avatar
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    Yea, why do they ? Life is unique and noone gets what he has paid for
    [URL]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tEBvftJUwDw&t=0s[/URL]

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