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  1. #201
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    I think that what is being described here is possibly clinical depression or even borderline personality disorder. Numbness doesn't necessarily have a clarity connotation for some people either - numbness can be a sign of depression in some people, deep black depression, and feeling anything is a step up from that level of depression.

    I like having my feelings. I wouldn't want them to go, but of course I don't want them to control me either. I understand what you're saying about balance of course, but I guess I have more sympathy/empathy for those kinds of states that scare or bother you.

    I know someone who is most likely an ISFP and he has the same fixation on wanting to keep his feelings, and art is a regular source of him evoking his inner emotions, even painful ones. Could it just be the FP?

  2. #202
    Protocol Droid Athenian200's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by heart View Post
    I don't understand it either. Just seems like an mental illness that needs treatment.
    I'm glad to hear you say that. I guess it's not really an FP thing after all, so much as something people might do if they can't find a way to deal with their emotions in a more verbal or constructive fashion.

  3. #203
    Protocol Droid Athenian200's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by marmalade.sunrise View Post
    I think that what is being described here is possibly clinical depression or even borderline personality disorder. Numbness doesn't necessarily have a clarity connotation for some people either - numbness can be a sign of depression in some people, deep black depression, and feeling anything is a step up from that level of depression.
    Well, I understand it being a sign of depression. I've even felt that when depressed before. It's just that I'd rather stay numb from the depression than hurt. I suppose all it really means is that my fear of pain is significantly stronger than my desire to feel anything. Come to think of it, that might bring it's own set of problems.
    I like having my feelings. I wouldn't want them to go, but of course I don't want them to control me either. I understand what you're saying about balance of course, but I guess I have more sympathy/empathy for those kinds of states that scare or bother you.
    Yeah. They do scare and bother me. Mostly because I can't put myself in their shoes, and thus can't understand them. I have to admit that I'm an easily scared and disgusted person who shies away from anything that sets off a red flag in my mind.
    I know someone who is most likely an ISFP and he has the same fixation on wanting to keep his feelings, and art is a regular source of him evoking his inner emotions, even painful ones. Could it just be the FP?
    Well... now I'm getting confused about whether it's an FP thing or not. Some of you think it is, some think it isn't... who knows?

  4. #204
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    Quote Originally Posted by heart View Post

    I don't know who posted this originally...but you seem to assume that you're special in having goals and working towards them. NFP have goals too. All humans can have goal they work towards and if your Ni is going on and on without any editing from the other functions, that's not a healthy situation. Not any more than someone running on Fi all the time without any input from Ne. The primary and secondary work together or the person goes unbalanced. This is how I understand it.
    I have posted that. I know that everyone has goals.
    But what I wanted to show is that I don't have to use emotions in making decisions in many cases. Since get all the data/plans just by doing "nothing".


    What do you think about those kinds of threads AO? Do you think they are indulgent? They are often full of deprecating and unhelpful replies... I can't see how that is preferable to the way NFs might work out their issues on the boards.
    About INTP ?

    I don't have problem with this kind of behavior. No matter who bahaves this way. I have problem in understanding some parts of F function.
    Whether it is inside of F or a T person. It is not unusual for me to have T vs F conflict with another T.


    I have opened this thread because it looks to me that NFs are the most likely group to behave this way. I never claimed that this is black and white topic.


    Once trapped in an Ne-Fi rut it can be circular and can just dive deeper and deeper and sort of magnify itself. I keep looking outwards for affirmation to solve the problem???? This could just be me though. I have to make a decided choice to stop the cyclical thinking and look inside for a sense of stability??? I have to stop Fi from amplifying itself???
    I have seen this in real life.



    As for cultural differences: I am from Eastern Europe.
    Just saying.

  5. #205
    Senior Member tibby's Avatar
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    Self pity? It sucks and deceives. I stopped because it got so fucking boring and being emo just gets old when you have many other perspectives. Waste of space, time and me. An easy way out from necessary pain. To become a victim, rather than constructive in realising what could be done instead and living lifes potentials.

  6. #206
    Queen hunter Virtual ghost's Avatar
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    Here something about what I am talking about.


    That makes me sad

    Was that a figure of speach or was there something deeper in the first sentence ?

    I am good in predicting what an F will do.
    But what I fail to understand is the inner world and things that are usually not said.



    Like the statement " There is no plan, she just wants to see you do something you enjoy and like".

    I roll eyes on that one on regular basis. Which is because I don't understand this approach. I can understand the context and that people do this when they love someone and that they do it because they love them.
    But the emotinal part of the story is out of my reach.

  7. #207
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    ^ I don't think any of us can make you understand. We could explain all day but not give you an answer that satisfies you because I think you want a logical answer and you want to be able to apply a logical construct to feeling and it can't really be done.

    Plus, from the way you word things, you use inflamatory words and it makes it seem like you already have a set, negative idea in your mind. It is very hard for people who hold set, negaitive bias to hear and understand what others are trying to say that counters those ideas.

  8. #208
    Senior Member Snow Turtle's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Athenian200 View Post
    Well, sometimes I do feel that. There might even be some of that going on in my life now, actually. But mostly I just meant that I wouldn't deliberately choose pain over numbness. I wouldn't necessarily want to get rid of my emotions completely. I just wouldn't seek to rid myself of the numbness that sometimes comes over me when I get overwhelmed emotionally. I consider it something of a good thing that gives me a break and sense of clarity when I need it most, and I don't wish to understand the people who would force themselves out of it with self-inflicted pain.
    I'm not sure how often you experience these sort of feelings I'd argue that numbness is much much more worse than pain. It's the state of apathy, when somebody has given up completely that they don't even care about their pain anymore. It's when life has lost it's will. Depressed people are often numb and dead inside. So I'm not entirely sure how people can argue that numbness is a better emotional state.

    Think of the silent treatment or disappointment, it is often more effective than anger for exactly this reason. To feel pain or anger, while not the greatest of emotions is to at least still feel like you are yourself, that you are alive.

    Edit: This is why I should read threads fully before posting >_<!

  9. #209
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    Quote Originally Posted by Antisocial one View Post
    About INTP ?

    I don't have problem with this kind of behavior. No matter who bahaves this way. I have problem in understanding some parts of F function.
    Whether it is inside of F or a T person. It is not unusual for me to have T vs F conflict with another T.


    I have opened this thread because it looks to me that NFs are the most likely group to behave this way. I never claimed that this is black and white topic.
    Actually, you did say in the OP that you thought NT discussion of such topics would be more constructive. It's patently wrong. It's a bias you have that I wished to highlight to you.

    Having said that, I have been wondering if the problem is a difficulty you have with "theory of mind". That is, being able to understand and attribute motives, mental states, knowledge, beliefs of/to others. Without that ability, it is difficult to be able to understand the internal world of others if it differs from your own perspective.

  10. #210
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    hm I can agree to what the INTJ was saying. That NF's can appear to pity themselves. I think this pertains more to the NFP's than the NFJ's. Granted I did post a thread asking about the compatibility of me and an ESTP, however, that was to receive an outside opinion. I feel the NFP's feel victims to certain circumstances, even their emotions. I believe it has to do with the P mentality. Not all P's but most of the one's I know feel as if life happens to them. An example would be they feel like they are in a boat floating down a stream with no paddles, steering column, etc to control where they go. The J's seem to like closure (obviously) and seem to believe more that they are in control of their destiny. J's, myself included, believe that if they want something, they can have it, this is a very powerful motivating tool. At times I do feel as a "victim" to my circumstances however in all reality we have a free will. This can be compared to Heidegger's (sp?) "authentic" and "inauthentic" persons. interesting stuff. But yea above all I can see how NF's can come off like they are gloomy, sad, etc, but I think it's because we can pick up on peoples emotions around us better than all types therefore if you're surrounded by sad individuals it will have an affect on you.

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