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  1. #181
    violaine
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    Quote Originally Posted by Athenian200 View Post
    ...

    Ah, I don't really do that with all NTs. Mostly just INTJs, because I "get" how they think, and want them to see that my F doesn't make me a total alien.
    Hmm, I have felt similarly before, with INTPs as well as INTJs (because I identify with their intellectual pursuits and I don't identify with the firehose-feeling caricature of NFs). Then I realized that it's on them to see that. Btw, not attacking you at all.

    There again, don't forget that a lot of NTs seem to prefer NFs for relationships rather than other NTs. Sometimes you have to look at the behaviors.

  2. #182
    Revelation Lauren Ashley's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Athenian200 View Post
    Yes, but that's difficult. My bad experiences with NFPs didn't exactly help give me confidence in the NF temperament or myself, because sometimes they do things that make it seem like the condescending things NTs sometimes say about us are right, and it embarrasses me.

    I'll try, though. Maybe my inability to deal well with NFPs represents a weakness in myself that I need to confront before I can better myself.
    Yes, perhaps try to keep an open mind when it comes to NFPs despite your experiences with them. There are plenty of awesome ones out there, but if you focus on the negative that's all you will see and it will make the resulting relationship difficult.

  3. #183
    Senior Member Alpha Prime's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lady X View Post
    verbal expression of ones feelings as a way of dealing with them is actually quite healthy and necessary for some.
    Absolutely. But when ranting and whining, it is done in a negative/pessimistic/victimized manner, which tends to cloud the rational mind. When done therapeutically (when the person has had time to think) I can see why that would be healthy.


    Quote Originally Posted by marmalade.sunrise View Post
    Actually, repressing feelings can be very unhealthy - not just psychologically, but sometimes physically depending on the severity of the repression.

    I don't think that being emotional doesn't mean that you're a "grown up." I feel that there's something a bit childish about denying emotion and pretending to always be tough when it's obviously not true. But these are just our two different ways of viewing the world.
    You misunderstood me. I'm not talking about repression, at all. I'm talking about getting the skillset to deal with your emotions in a healthy and mature way.
    Hit like a heavyweight, breathe deep, meditate
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  4. #184
    Protocol Droid Athenian200's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by sanveane View Post
    Hmm, I have felt similarly before, with INTPs as well as INTJs (because I identify with their intellectual pursuits and I don't identify with the firehose-feeling caricature of NFs). Then I realized that it's on them to see that. Btw, not attacking you at all.
    Yes. That's exactly how I feel. I suppose it's just a kneejerk reaction to try and distance myself from the more schmaltzy NFs when something happens between them and my NT friends, because I'm truly embarrassed by them and often don't relate to them anyway.

    You're right, I should count on them to find out I'm better than that, not try to "prove" anything by distancing myself.

  5. #185
    Senior Member Lacey's Avatar
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    (Joining in on the Helena dance.)

  6. #186
    violaine
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    Quote Originally Posted by Athenian200 View Post
    Yes. That's exactly how I feel. I suppose it's just a kneejerk reaction to try and distance myself from the more schmaltzy NFs when something happens, because I'm truly embarrassed by them and often don't relate to them anyway.
    I know the feeling well. It's like being a self-hating feeler. (Though I am definitely not!) I like to be accurately represented which is why I questioned the basis of the OP.

    Quote Originally Posted by Athenian200 View Post
    You're right, I should count on them to find that out, not try to "prove" anything.
    Lol, that's how you know you are NF.

    I'll defend the validity of emotive expression against this kind of bias though. The last thread I read that would fit the OP was made by and is about INTPs.

    What do you think about those kinds of threads AO? Do you think they are indulgent? They are often full of deprecating and unhelpful replies... I can't see how that is preferable to the way NFs might work out their issues on the boards.

  7. #187
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lacey View Post


    (Joining in on the Helena dance.)

  8. #188
    Revelation Lauren Ashley's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by marmalade.sunrise View Post


    Okay, I'll stop now.

  9. #189
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lauren Ashley View Post


    Okay, I'll stop now.
    You're awesome.

  10. #190
    Once Was Synarch's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by heart View Post
    Why NF's pity themselves so much?

    Don't worry, they likely pity you too.
    Yes, NF's are capable of pity more in general. Good point.

    Quote Originally Posted by heart View Post
    ^ Oh my dear Viv, it's *logical* whining! All the difference in the world.
    Yea, somehow it makes it more valid.

    Quote Originally Posted by heart View Post
    I think Antisocial was really just coming to the Idyllic for some hugs and cheering up anyway. Everyone should give him a hug.
    Oh, I agree. NT's get cranky when they just want hugs and comfort. Too afraid to ask for it, alas. Cos, you know, that would be WEAK.

    Quote Originally Posted by heart View Post
    I've been alive 40 years and I've yet to meet anyone who never rants or whines. Thinkers can be some of the worst venters and whiners around, probably because they save it all up for a select few to hear. And often that person they select is a feeler!
    lol. +1
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