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  1. #1
    the Dark Prophet of Kualu
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    Default Do you mirror and add personality traits to be able to converse "normally"?

    I'll try to make myself understood.
    I do not show myself at all if possible and I've only shown the real me to one person on this planet. My best friend says that whenever I speak to myself, that's where he has learned to know me. Not by my actions or words to others.

    Since an early age I have developed a strategy to handle the world around me. I basically looked at another person, listened to all their thoughts, saw their body language, how they interacted with others, how others spoke to them and their physical/mental responses to this and I made a map of everyone around me. A pattern.

    After reviewing and disregarding what I did not like about their behavior; I mirrored them and implemented their physical patterns into mine.

    This has given me the opportunity to seize others thinking process quite accurately and I can sometimes end a whole conversation with someone I just met after 5-10 min into it.

    Also, my truths vary from the perspective I have chosen at the time.

    Now, to the questions;

    Do you do something similar to this or not?

    How has it affected your life so far?

    Does it improve your social life?
    Open for interpretation.
    Jo
    Fell for the temptation: Nohari / Johari

  2. #2
    Courage is immortality Valiant's Avatar
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    I'm a social chameleon, yes.
    I did it especially when I felt that me being myself wasn't going to be enough... And it wasn't. It has helped me change who I am over a long time, for the better. It's not as much "fake it till you make it" as "reprogramming the self". It's hard to describe.

    But yes. It starts with imitating body language etc and trying to empathize my way into the other person's head in order to think like them, while not adopting their disgusting or bad personality traits, according to my own value system.

    Mightier than the tread of marching armies is the power of an idea whose time has come

  3. #3
    the Dark Prophet of Kualu
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    Quote Originally Posted by YourLocalJesus View Post
    It's not as much "fake it till you make it" as "reprogramming the self". It's hard to describe.

    But yes. It starts with imitating body language etc and trying to empathize my way into the other person's head in order to think like them, while not adopting their disgusting or bad personality traits, according to my own value system.
    That's exactly what I meant.
    Open for interpretation.
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  4. #4
    Courage is immortality Valiant's Avatar
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    It's called "being adaptive". Which is one of the most important traits in a human.
    You can't do it without insight, intelligence and a few other little things. Feel good about it, dear sir. Shit, you're Swedish! Just noticed. I live in Boden. Come to think of it... I might have written in your intro post. Anyway.


    It's affected my life positively, since I remove personality traits over time and replace them with desirable ones. Hopefully desirable in other peoples' eyes as well. I know I feel a lot better about myself now than I used to. You could even say that i'm sort of fond of myself (boy, that sounded narcissistic.)

    And it has improved my social life. I dumped my old friends who had a bad influence on me. I got to play the role of the "stupid" guy in that group for a couple of years. That's pretty odd... Since I left them and gained back my self-respect and perspective, I see that I was not the stupid one. On the contrary, the two ISTJs, the ESTJ and the ESTP seem utterly and incurably retarded to me.
    It was just social strangulation on their behalf.
    You could also say that this is why I have such a hard time with SJs. I feel like they strangle who I am. Since it was the ESTJ's fault, most of it, I have a strong distaste for that type to this day... It's pretty odd, and it's something that I am working on.

    Other than that, i've become:

    - Smarter
    - More empathetic (seriously needed that. For a while I effing hated people. After the ESTJ incident. I wasn't mean or cruel as a kid, and i've never pulled legs off little animals or such... I'm no psychopath by any measures, but I wasn't very warm most of the time. I felt after meeting a few ENFJ elements in my life that I needed to improve. Also my first and most recent girlfriends really helped me selfdevelop in that area.)

    - More logical (logical in the sense that I now better understand the logics of others, instead of just my own. Theoretically it's a step down. 148 IQ. Since it differs more than 30 from most people, I had a hard time understanding what the heck they were on about... Or rather why.)

    - Artistic (like the one below, it's in order to express myself and my dreams)

    - Better at expressing myself (nobody could really understand what I was saying. Too intuitive and strange, I believe)

    - Less prone to over-extroversion. I have more "introverted" interests, like reading, writing etc. (I started with this at like... age 8. I found my father who is a really extroverted person overbearing).

    - I keep focusing instead of doing the classical Extrovert-can't-fucking-concentrate-while-in-a-conversation-thing You can see why I find that annoying, no?



    So, what I would like to know now, is how this little thing has improved/worsened your way of life, dear INFP?

    Mightier than the tread of marching armies is the power of an idea whose time has come

  5. #5
    Protocol Droid Athenian200's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Gtzk View Post
    I'll try to make myself understood.
    I do not show myself at all if possible and I've only shown the real me to one person on this planet. My best friend says that whenever I speak to myself, that's where he has learned to know me. Not by my actions or words to others.

    Since an early age I have developed a strategy to handle the world around me. I basically looked at another person, listened to all their thoughts, saw their body language, how they interacted with others, how others spoke to them and their physical/mental responses to this and I made a map of everyone around me. A pattern.

    After reviewing and disregarding what I did not like about their behavior; I mirrored them and implemented their physical patterns into mine.

    This has given me the opportunity to seize others thinking process quite accurately and I can sometimes end a whole conversation with someone I just met after 5-10 min into it.

    Also, my truths vary from the perspective I have chosen at the time.

    Now, to the questions;

    Do you do something similar to this or not?

    How has it affected your life so far?

    Does it improve your social life?
    I do something similar to this... but not as much in physical expressions as mental ones. Just thought patterns, not emotional or physical ones. I generally do this better over the Internet. In real life, I'm more prone to stick to rigid behaviors that I've found to be acceptable to both myself and other people in a large number of situations, becoming a bit robotic. I would be afraid to do what you're talking about even if I could, because I'd be afraid that I'd be letting the other person turn me into themselves and adopt their values. And then I would no longer be myself.

  6. #6
    Courage is immortality Valiant's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Athenian200 View Post
    I do something similar to this... but not as much in physical expressions as mental ones. I generally do what you describe better over the Internet. In real life, I'm more prone to stick to behavior that I've seen as acceptable in a large number of situations, becoming a bit robotic. I would be afraid to do what you're talking about even if I could, because I'd be afraid that I'd be letting the other person turn me into themselves. And then I would no longer be myself.

    Oh, I don't swallow entire personalities I merely acquire things that I like.
    There are few people that I deem cool through-and-through, mostly ENFJs and INFJs, and i'm already kind of like them in a way.

    In the MBTI sense, i'm trying to balance things out until I could call myself XNXX. I do not wish to become a sensor, though. That would be awfully boring... No pun intended, just my personal opinion that it wouldn't be enjoyable. I have, however, improved my sensory abilities, I believe. MY Si is incurably bad, though.

    Mightier than the tread of marching armies is the power of an idea whose time has come

  7. #7
    Protocol Droid Athenian200's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by YourLocalJesus View Post
    Oh, I don't swallow entire personalities I merely acquire things that I like.
    There are few people that I deem cool through-and-through, mostly ENFJs and INFJs, and i'm already kind of like them in a way.
    I generally try to adopt traits that I like as well, if I'm comfortable enough with the trait.

    I guess I have a tendency to resist being mentally or emotionally controlled by other people I'm in situations with as much as possible, it's kind of a paranoid instinct. My tendency to stick to a clean, safe, outside perspective rather than taking chances of getting messy with an inside perspective as my reference tends to alienate some people... especially Sensors. It's for the same reason that I don't like to download and run software when I don't know or trust where it came from.
    In the MBTI sense, i'm trying to balance things out until I could call myself XNXX. I do not wish to become a sensor, though. That would be awfully boring... No pun intended, just my personal opinion that it wouldn't be enjoyable. I have, however, improved my sensory abilities, I believe. MY Si is incurably bad, though.
    Ah, that's a good goal. Being anything like a sensor just doesn't feel right at all if you're not one already, so I can understand that.

  8. #8
    the Dark Prophet of Kualu
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    Quote Originally Posted by YourLocalJesus View Post
    You could even say that i'm sort of fond of myself (boy, that sounded narcissistic.)
    Well, I am more or less in love with myself. Don't be shy.

    Quote Originally Posted by YourLocalJesus View Post
    You could also say that this is why I have such a hard time with SJs. I feel like they strangle who I am. Since it was the ESTJ's fault, most of it, I have a strong distaste for that type to this day... It's pretty odd, and it's something that I am working on.
    About the ISTJ's, I feel your distress. And my own.

    Quote Originally Posted by YourLocalJesus View Post
    So, what I would like to know now, is how this little thing has improved/worsened your way of life, dear INFP?
    Well, my life has it's ups and downs.
    I generally enter a personality crisis twice every year to pick apart the personalities I've gained in 6 months and take what I like. The upside of it is that I do try out everything until I decide on what to keep and what not to keep.

    F in my life has been very... low-key. Until I met an INFJ whom I could interact with and understand the possible changes beneath my skin.
    Before that event, I've been interested in people but generally disregard them quite fast for their lack of intellect and intelligence.

    It also gave me a structure of average individual and made it easy for me to manipulate as I wished. Thus helping and ruining personal relationships.


    Other than that, I am more or less always in a pursuit of myself. I seem to never find "home" but on the rare occasions I do, I am highly insecure and terrible at communicating. And if F's would know me, I would be considered "evil".

    As I began quite early (read 7-8 years old) I am having troubles knowing "my true self" but that concern didn't enter me until after the F-thing*. I am wondering if this really is healthy for me.

    Inside I am of type xNxx . High probability of T. The rest quite uncertain.

    Pro's:

    - I've gained more knowledge about humanity. As race.

    - I've almost concluded a personality classification of my own.

    - I've gained social intelligence.

    - I've gained resources to move my life forward as I wish.

    - I've been able to relieve myself of my "stiff" behavior and does not engage in routines as much as I did as a child.

    - I've found more sources of knowledge.

    - I've developed a slight bit of artistic talent.

    - I find it easier to express myself, but only on things that I've readily thought through. Or not at all.

    - Gain of empathy.

    Con's:

    - I've lost my original goals.

    - My focus lessened after extensive drug use. :/

    - I am not talking at all. About how I perceive the world. Nor any intricate plans that I may have as I believe no one would understand them anyhow. Thus nullifying my own existence.

    - I plot a lot. And I am very cunning in my plotting.

    - Gain of empathy.

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    *Originally intended as F-hing but due to learning that average would not understand terrible puns I've placed the solution in the right spot instead.
    -.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-


    I would also like to know if there is any F's that can find themselves in my/it's description.
    Open for interpretation.
    Jo
    Fell for the temptation: Nohari / Johari

  9. #9
    Courage is immortality Valiant's Avatar
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    Gtzk: whoa. I can completely identify with your list of pros. That's a bit scary
    On the con-side, though, we're very different except for the plotting part. I feel that my empathy has enriched my life. I would call it 90% good and a 10% bad.

    I get what you're saying about the crisis thing... It's particularly when the need arises that I change a lot quickly. For example when a relationship ends, I look over what knowledge and experiences I have gained and what I need to lose in order to improve.

    Mightier than the tread of marching armies is the power of an idea whose time has come

  10. #10
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    Quote Originally Posted by YourLocalJesus View Post
    In the MBTI sense, i'm trying to balance things out until I could call myself XNXX.
    Quote Originally Posted by Gtzk View Post
    Inside I am of type xNxx . High probability of T. The rest quite uncertain.
    Haha, this is exactly the path that I'm on. In MBTI terms, I suppose this would manifest itself in, perhaps metaphorically, acquiring the ability to use all of the cognitive functions and identify with many different type descriptions, and having the wisdom and discretion to discern which is applicable in any given situation.

    To that end, I still don't know whether I "generally prefer" the functions associated with ENTJ or ENFP (or, really, many other type descriptions) more. But I find that the question isn't too important.

    I just picked up this book, and I'm enjoying it.

    As far as the thread's specific topic is concerned, I find myself adapting to situations as they come, and a part of that is sometimes consciously or unconsciously mirroring others in conversation.

    I'm sure I'll have more to say in this thread.. but I generally agree with what's been stated so far.

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