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  1. #31
    the Dark Prophet of Kualu
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kalach View Post
    What I assume happens *for everyone* is they do defend their borders in their various ways. And particularly what has happened for me as I've gotten older is I guess a combination of some personal confidence and a growing sense that defending my borders is starting to lose me more than it gains now, so being anyone other than I am is a waste of increasingly precious time. I might end up dead before having shown at least someone everything I have.
    Well, that was why I turned outwards and sort of ended up as enfp. I couldn't really live without having people all around me but it was also a defense mechanism so that I wouldn't have to deal with what I got in front of me. :/

    Nowadays I don't mirror as much or at all. I bring myself forward in different contexts instead. Using different ways but not always being at the front myself. If I am seen as very talkative and weirdly uppety up, then that's probably not me out of my shell. If I do get out I am awkward and have very few pinpointed questions that I want to know and then I just listen to whatever else it want to talk about.

    Imo MBTI is psychology for the masses.
    Open for interpretation.
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    Fell for the temptation: Nohari / Johari

  2. #32
    Badoom~ Skyward's Avatar
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    Imo MBTI is psychology for the masses.
    It's a vocabulary system and a way to understand what a person does with information. I agree that it's for the masses, but too bad everyone but the NTs and NFs I know tend to ignore it as unuseful.

    I find that I do morph a bit when social. It isnt to the point where I forget who I am. I'm pushing myself to be quiet longer and think before I say things. If anything it will help me be understood and not get weird looks because lately Ive been incoherent and mush-mouthed.
    'Imperfection is beauty, madness is genius and its better to be absolutely ridiculous than absolutely boring.' - Marilyn Monroe

    This is who I am, escapist, paradise-seeker.
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    Anthropology Major out of Hamline University. St. Paul, Minnesota.

  3. #33
    mod love baby... Lady_X's Avatar
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    i think being a ne dom makes me aware of the commonalities between myself and whomever i'm speaking with....so it's not really mirroring as much as relating to that thing that we both share.

    but often times...we're not similar at all and they just bring out some other part of my personality...like with some people i may be really jokey and tease them..in a sibling sort of way...or i'm extra silly with this person...or more serious with this one....mature with this one...immature with that one...it's quite possible enfps are schizophrenic....a lil bit
    There can’t be any large-scale revolution until there’s a personal revolution, on an individual level. It’s got to happen inside first.
    -Jim Morrison

  4. #34
    Senior Member Chloe's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Gtzk View Post

    Now, to the questions;

    Do you do something similar to this or not?

    How has it affected your life so far?

    Does it improve your social life?
    I used to do this when I was in highschool, sometimes when was uncomfortable. I don't do this any more, it's painful. (Everybody do this in certain amount of course, but thats not what we talking about here as I think).

    answers;
    no. very very rarely. (it takes effort to not-do this, and of course better connection to your real feelings).
    2. it is just painful and idiotic
    3. no. because you feel fake and there is nothing worth in it.

  5. #35
    Senior Member sculpting's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lady X View Post
    i think being a ne dom makes me aware of the commonalities between myself and whomever i'm speaking with....so it's not really mirroring as much as relating to that thing that we both share.

    but often times...we're not similar at all and they just bring out some other part of my personality...like with some people i may be really jokey and tease them..in a sibling sort of way...or i'm extra silly with this person...or more serious with this one....mature with this one...immature with that one...it's quite possible enfps are schizophrenic....a lil bit
    Are you aware of picking a certain way to interact with them or does it just come out on its own without thought? Like you intuitively Ne match what they need you to be?

  6. #36
    Senior Member Chloe's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by happy puppy View Post
    Are you aware of picking a certain way to interact with them or does it just come out on its own without thought? Like you intuitively Ne match what they need you to be?
    if you do that too often, that means your Fi is too weak... or maybe T.
    Its great to have good social skills and ability to fit in and read people, but its no use unless you stay yourself.

    Mirroring isn't interest. Person can be interested in other person, and she can mirror her or not. I don't think mirroring is healthy, especially if its unconcious or uncontroled.

    When you fit to the person because you want to be accepted, it has nothing with interest, it is more about your Fi not feeling safe. But that doesnt mean one don't have interest in others - but mirroring is action from fear.

  7. #37
    mod love baby... Lady_X's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by happy puppy View Post
    Are you aware of picking a certain way to interact with them or does it just come out on its own without thought? Like you intuitively Ne match what they need you to be?
    not aware of it at the time..no. and i don't even think it has anything to do with what they need me to be...it's just a natural reaction to their presence..in much the same way as my mood on a rainy day or gorgeous sunny one...or walking into work and seeing someone brought cupcakes...haha...if that makes sense.

    occasionally i'll become aware of it after the fact...like the way i've noticed i am with certain other enfps...a bit more free to be weird or or teasing and obnoxious or whatever.

    edit: also what i meant about sensing commonalities was that i could pick up on similar interests we might have and so i might bring up a conversation about that.

    i'm not feeling very eloquent at the moment so please excuse that mess of a post.
    There can’t be any large-scale revolution until there’s a personal revolution, on an individual level. It’s got to happen inside first.
    -Jim Morrison

  8. #38
    Senior Member sculpting's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Chloee View Post
    if you do that too often, that means your Fi is too weak... or maybe T.
    Its great to have good social skills and ability to fit in and read people, but its no use unless you stay yourself.

    Mirroring isn't interest. Person can be interested in other person, and she can mirror her or not. I don't think mirroring is healthy, especially if its unconcious or uncontroled.

    When you fit to the person because you want to be accepted, it has nothing with interest, it is more about your Fi not feeling safe. But that doesnt mean one don't have interest in others - but mirroring is action from fear.
    Quote Originally Posted by Lady X View Post
    not aware of it at the time..no. and i don't even think it has anything to do with what they need me to be...it's just a natural reaction to their presence..in much the same way as my mood on a rainy day or gorgeous sunny one...or walking into work and seeing someone brought cupcakes...haha...if that makes sense.

    occasionally i'll become aware of it after the fact...like the way i've noticed i am with certain other enfps...a bit more free to be weird or or teasing and obnoxious or whatever.
    I have always done this naturally not understanding what i was doing. Not to be accepted-I have never been accepted as such anyways-but to make for better communication. Mirroring may not be the best term. I dont copy them. Instead I "catch" hooks they throw out and interact via those "hooks". I mold to thier crevices, thier niches and interact with parts of them that they allow outwards... I mold myself to interact and communicate with them in a way they seem to understand best???

    My core remains stable, my desires, goals and thoughts are the same, but what I show them of myself will change. My speech, tone, vocabulary, gestures, expressions, and so on. It is spontaneous and happens without any thought of my own once I have known the person for about five minutes. It isnt fake or put on in anyway, it seems to be a natural reaction. Once I know someone a bit better, I immediately will morph into the most natural mode of interaction with them, again with no conscious thought.

    Now that I understand the functions-I am subconciously picking the best function to match/communicate with them.

    For instance for an INTJ this ends up being Fi, for an estj it would be using tertiary Te.

    For entps I swap between Ne-Fi and Ne-Te depending on what I am communicating. Some types I dont have a "hook" to catch on so I dont interact well with them-esfp/estp for instance. I just dont have a natural mode that works well with them and end up being very ackward for a long period of time.

    Now that I understand what I am doing, I worry about using this ability to switch modes in a manipulative way, even though it is perfectly natural to do so for me. None of these things are not me, they are just different faces of what I am. ????

  9. #39
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    I was raised by a very pushy woman who wanted me to be an extrovert. She didn't understand why I was an introvert and thought it could be changed or grown out of. As a result, I have learned to perform. Even though I'm an introvert, I am capable of performing on stage (sometimes) and can speak up for myself. The speaking up for myself is a good thing. The performing, not so much. The older I get the less inclined I feel to "perform" - not just on stage, but in life. It was something I was pushed into and it took me a while as a young adult to let it go. It screwed me up and caused problems for me in my relationships. Now that I'm a more complete adult I find that I adapt less and less. Now I know how to say, "I need to be alone" because it's exhausting to keep "performing" if it's not your natural inclination. But yeah, I guess this is something I've experienced that fits your question of adding personality traits to please others.

  10. #40
    mod love baby... Lady_X's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by happy puppy View Post
    I have always done this naturally not understanding what i was doing. Not to be accepted-I have never been accepted as such anyways-but to make for better communication. Mirroring may not be the best term. I dont copy them. Instead I "catch" hooks they throw out and interact via those "hooks". I mold to thier crevices, thier niches and interact with parts of them that they allow outwards... I mold myself to interact and communicate with them in a way they seem to understand best???

    My core remains stable, my desires, goals and thoughts are the same, but what I show them of myself will change. My speech, tone, vocabulary, gestures, expressions, and so on. It is spontaneous and happens without any thought of my own once I have known the person for about five minutes. It isnt fake or put on in anyway, it seems to be a natural reaction. Once I know someone a bit better, I immediately will morph into the most natural mode of interaction with them, again with no conscious thought.

    Now that I understand the functions-I am subconciously picking the best function to match/communicate with them.

    For instance for an INTJ this ends up being Fi, for an estj it would be using tertiary Te.

    For entps I swap between Ne-Fi and Ne-Te depending on what I am communicating. Some types I dont have a "hook" to catch on so I dont interact well with them-esfp/estp for instance. I just dont have a natural mode that works well with them and end up being very ackward for a long period of time.

    Now that I understand what I am doing, I worry about using this ability to switch modes in a manipulative way, even though it is perfectly natural to do so for me. None of these things are not me, they are just different faces of what I am. ????
    interesting..yeah..i think in a work environment it would be that way yeah...so...must be why we're naturals at interpersonal relations right...i mean that's what they say right? it's just the way we use our ne a lot of the time...i guess??
    There can’t be any large-scale revolution until there’s a personal revolution, on an individual level. It’s got to happen inside first.
    -Jim Morrison

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