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[NF] INFP care the most about themselves ?

entropie

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My infp told me today.

His words were: "Whatever the two of you say, I will only understand what I want to hear and the rest of it will just go poof the magic dragon."

For me this totally goes against everything I believe in, therefore I count those guys as dangerous to my soullife.

Am I dreaming or isnt that the whole truth ?
 

Jeremy

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My infp told me today.

His words were: "Whatever the two of you say, I will only understand what I want to hear and the rest of it will just go poof the magic dragon."

For me this totally goes against everything I believe in, therefore I count those guys as dangerous to my soullife.

Am I dreaming or isnt that the whole truth ?

Sounds like he's just immature. I've had to train myself, but I've learned to take the good and the bad things that I hear in.. you have to process everything.

Now, when I'm under stress, I only take in things that confirm that I should be stressed and become more stressed because I'm thinking only about things that are making me stressed and then I think about that thing that someone said awhile ago and it makes me more stressed because they must think that I'm a bad person because I'm so stressed because etc.
 

heart

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Sorry to have to say it , but your INFP sounds like a quivering mass of goo. :hug:

Did he really say "poof the magic dragon?" :sick: I go to take Dramamine now! :D
 

Gengar

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Now, when I'm under stress, I only take in things that confirm that I should be stressed and become more stressed because I'm thinking only about things that are making me stressed and then I think about that thing that someone said awhile ago and it makes me more stressed because they must think that I'm a bad person because I'm so stressed because etc.

That was a very..."stressful" sentence ;)

INFPs will care the most about themselves depending on how you choose to play with words.
 

speculative

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My infp told me today.

His words were: "Whatever the two of you say, I will only understand what I want to hear and the rest of it will just go poof the magic dragon."

For me this totally goes against everything I believe in, therefore I count those guys as dangerous to my soullife.

Am I dreaming or isnt that the whole truth ?

I don't think your description of the situation is in-depth enough to be fair; it seems really colored by your own opinion without letting things speak for themselves.

What exactly do the two of you "say?" For example, if you're making small-talk, then I can see your INFP friend justifiably being non-interested in that part of the conversation. Or, does your friend have trouble focusing due to something like ADD? All I'm saying here is that I would need to hear some of these conversations before I would pass judgement on your INFP friend. Although, he seemed to communicate his feelings in a kind of crass response...
 

Wiley45

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^ Agreed. A lot depends on the subject matter and the specific conversation.

Many INFP's I know tune out things if they are too difficult to handle all at once, but those who are maturing learn to listen to everything.
 

Athenian200

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My infp told me today.

His words were: "Whatever the two of you say, I will only understand what I want to hear and the rest of it will just go poof the magic dragon."

For me this totally goes against everything I believe in, therefore I count those guys as dangerous to my soullife.

Am I dreaming or isnt that the whole truth ?

I think INFPs definitely can be like that. I mean, Introverted Feeling... feeling about yourself. I can see a connection there. I also know some INFPs who have very annoying values that aren't based on anything.

I would say that I end up processing everything I hear, but I reject and rail against it (at least internally) if I don't like the idea it represents to me. Sometimes even being so obsessed with my disdain for it that I blindly attack several other things that seem like they're related to it, or might open up paths to it. I can't really ignore anything, and that's probably why I find it so hard to put myself in a situation where I might be exposed to something I don't like.
 

JivinJeffJones

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I can't even tell what he's saying, exactly. He'll only understand what he wants to hear? What does that mean? Is this some lost-in-translation from the German issue?
 

Udog

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My infp told me today.

His words were: "Whatever the two of you say, I will only understand what I want to hear and the rest of it will just go poof the magic dragon."

For me this totally goes against everything I believe in, therefore I count those guys as dangerous to my soullife.

Am I dreaming or isnt that the whole truth ?

Entropie - what is the context of the conversation?
 

runvardh

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Yeah, I'd like context too.

Otherwise I know I'm a selfish SoB...
 

The Outsider

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I am very selfless.

I am INFP.

I have rewritten this message over 4 times.

What does that last line have to do with anything?

On the surface, nothing. There is a meaning however. Or there was.
 

Ender

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I'm selfless to the point where I can screw up my own life trying to help others.

Being selfish is something I had to work at. Tho, if you tread on my values...
 

The Outsider

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I think INFPs definitely can be like that. I mean, Introverted Feeling... feeling about yourself. I can see a connection there. I also know some INFPs who have very annoying values that aren't based on anything.

And INFJs believe it is okay to force their beliefs down others' throats, and they also have no depth of feeling in themselves.
Extroverted Feeling... feeling for others. I can see a connection there. I also know an INFJ who believes that the crusades were justified.

You can't oversimplify things like that.
INFPs aren't selfish. Fi isn't selfish.
 

OrangeAppled

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I take it he's telling you he blocks out what he doesn't want to hear. This sounds like a bratty teenager thing, not an INFP thing.

And saying that Fi is selfish and only feeling about yourself and Fe is caring about other is REALLY oversimplifying things.

I care very much about what other people think & feel, and I take into account their view even if it is not what I want to hear. INFPs are known to be empathetic & good listeners. I'm the friend people come to when they need someone to listen & for useful advice.

If these things didn't affect us, we would not be so sensitive. An INFP may balk at something they don't like initially, because they are wounded to hear it, but it will sink in later and they may actually take it more seriously than others & allow it to influence their thinking. Or they may consider it and still find it to be trash & toss it :D.
 

Bubbles

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Maybe we're taking this in the wrong context. For example, I often don't hear what someone's saying if it's not a topic I'm particularly interested in. If someone is trying to explain how they won some sports event, I'll only half listen. If someone's talking about something I like, I find myself more tuned-in. But that's not even a type thing, not really. Just a possible explanation for the OP. :)

If, however, this is about being self-centered, I have to disagree. I think INFPs do think a lot about themselves, but we do it in a way that's more "who are we, how do we work, how will we grow" than "is this about me, should I care if it isn't, I'll ignore it." In fact, INFPs can spend more time worrying about others than themselves. We can be fantastic listeners to other people's problems. Sometimes we totally ignore ourselves because we're so immersed in supporting others.

But I'm gonna agree with what Udog and the others said: entropie, what was the context of the comment?
 

Gengar

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In fact, INFPs can spend more time worrying about others than themselves. We can be fantastic listeners to other people's problems. Sometimes we totally ignore ourselves because we're so immersed in supporting others.

ditto.
 

Dwigie

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And INFJs believe it is okay to force their beliefs down others' throats, and they also have no depth of feeling in themselves.
Extroverted Feeling... feeling for others. I can see a connection there. I also know an INFJ who believes that the crusades were justified.

You can't oversimplify things like that.
INFPs aren't selfish. Fi isn't selfish.

Agreed. I'm just emotionally honest (okay not always but hey...)

I honestly wonder why some people think they are "deeper" than others. Where does this come from?
How do you even know you are deeper than someone?
What does that even mean...to be deep?
I usually find people who think they are deep to simply believe that they have the right answer to everything and know more about life than others whether or not it is true. I'm amazed by the number of people who believe they are deeper than other people and do not hesitate to belittle other people's inner lives. "You do not "x" as deeply as I do"... :dont:

Anyways back to topic.

Well, let me ask you something:
Do you think that you should place other people's needs above your own? If you do, what are your motivations and what has it brought you? Why would you even expect someone to place your needs above their own?
I would know about people calling me selfish a lot as a child and only being nice to me when I was their doormat. I grew up, thank god.

I'm very aware of myself, I think about myself a lot. I don't place other people's needs above my own.What I worry about the most is myself and my family. I don't expect anyone to place my needs above their own, not even my parents.

Does that mean I don't care about people? No. I do care a lot about people I'm close to and am always giving them things if they need them and I can offer them if it doesn't compromise my own well being. Occasionally I do but it's rare. I'm not a bleeding heart, not anymore. I used to do the exact opposite and just "give it all away" but it has brought me nothing good in life so I stopped.
Yes, call me selfish for not taking your needs into account. I have a nice little saying for people who call you selfish:

"The only reason we call other people selfish is because they ignore our personal interest, benefit or well-being."

It's not other people's duty to care for you it's your own.I feel blessed someone even cares for me. I wouldn't want to complain about someone not "caring enough about me" especially if it's because their own needs are at stake. I'd probably whip myself mentally for that later.

(Just re-read post, wow. Much less aggressive=> My point is:
Just because you decide to be selfless doesn't turn others who do not choose to do the same into selfish people.)
 
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