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  1. #41
    Filthy Apes! Kalach's Avatar
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    Sounds plausible. It's the process of Fi maturing?


    I wonder where Te fits. Fi's the real judgment function for enough pees, and Te's just a tool, I guess.


    I like a young ENFP, and at the same time she's a pain in the ass. Totally Ne vs Ni interaction, which is pretty much enormous fun of a kind I haven't had in a long time, and then she reigns reactive emo over any real Te I toss out. So that's not a relationship that's going to happen.



    Not really relevant to the thread, just felt like sharing, and making the "enough pees" joke. See what I did there?

  2. #42
    mod love baby... Lady_X's Avatar
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    is it? i don't know...i've always felt pretty authentic. enfp father probably helped encourage that.

    and do you??? aww...now i get why you have opinions about it. not that i was really wondering...just sayin

    sorry she's all emo and stuff though.
    There can’t be any large-scale revolution until there’s a personal revolution, on an individual level. It’s got to happen inside first.
    -Jim Morrison

  3. #43
    RETIRED CzeCze's Avatar
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    Great topic, I'm multitasking so my answer is rambling buuuut -

    I think part of the reason ENFPs may feel "so fake" is that being authentic is very important to us. Being "real"/being "authentic" it's highly valued not just in ourselves but in general in life. It's also what makes ENFPs generally very open minded and accepting of other people, curious about the world, and random- we can pretty much accept that people are people as long as you show us who you are.

    Everyone wants to feel "at home" but that home is a little harder to fit for an ENFP who is, for lack of a better word, so random. That hyper-Ne makes us wonder "do other people feel like this? Is this 'normal'? etc" And that imagination makes us wonder what could be - what if I were like this? Or this? Or this?

    In some ways ENFPs are forever children inside, which isn't entirely bad, youthfulness is considered a positive trait.

    ENFPs are considered "random" and getting into all kinds of stuff. It's the Ne/Fi combination (and being Ne dom and not Fi dom makes a world of difference between ENFP and INFP)

    ENTPs and ENFPs are very similar in the way we extrovert and appear to the world. However, I think ENTPs are more into the experience and satisfying curiousity whereas ENFPs are more into the underlying "meaning" of everything.

    And I do agree that it's a maturity thing - meaning the more you know who you are and what your values are, the more authentic you feel and the more *grounded* you feel as a person.

    Not all ENFPs are born nor develop the same, I think also natural curiousity and open-ness has a lot to do with it. Because ENFPs often find themselves in different contexts hanging out with diverse crowds, the combo of that Ne checking the environment and checking it back with Fi or just self-consciousness - yeah I can see why people might feel fake.

    I actually don't feel fake and haven't felt fake in a while. Sometimes I feel like I'm not doing what I'm supposed to be doing or being who I am supposed to be, but that is more frustration than fakeness. Basically, it's not that I'm acting like something I'm not, I'm just not fully being what I want to be.

    I don't know if I've felt "fake" - rather I've felt out of place and wondered why. So I will say that I've felt very much like I was 'searching'. It's an inner journey more than an external one.

    Fakeness really does disappear with confidence and confidence comes with a lot of work, questioning, and experiencing.

    Is that generic enough?

    LOL.

    BTW, a lot of people think that extraverted feelers (Fe doms and EFs) are "fake". Haters! LOL. However, in general people, especially extreme introverts (generally crabby or antisocial or just very quiet) have told me the opposite - that they find me very sincere and genuine and they even enjoy my chatter because "it's not the same kind of talking that people do when they talk too much" lol.
    “If you want to tell people the truth, make them laugh, otherwise they'll kill you.” ― Oscar Wilde

    "I'm outtie 5000" ― Romulux

    Johari/Nohari

  4. #44
    Senior Member Heart&Brain's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by CzeCze View Post
    I actually don't feel fake and haven't felt fake in a while. Sometimes I feel like I'm not doing what I'm supposed to be doing or being who I am supposed to be, but that is more frustration than fakeness. Basically, it's not that I'm acting like something I'm not, I'm just not fully being what I want to be.

    I don't know if I've felt "fake" - rather I've felt out of place and wondered why. So I will say that I've felt very much like I was 'searching'. It's an inner journey more than an external one.
    Yes, this! I can adjust my antennas and will sooner or later notice when there is no response to my probes. Then I pull back the deep probes and try other things, less ambitious attempts at connection. It means that I can function in a 'likable' way in most groups, also groups I find deeply boring, unrewarding and shallow. Like my ex-inlaws, just saying.

    It doesn't mean I'm faking, it only means that in those situations I function close to a minimum of my potential. I'm reaching out giving bits and pieces of my self because I want someone else in the world out there to connect and spin along with me in a genuin and meaningful way. It's frustrating to have these antennas emitting and getting close to no response. And if I stick to groups like that too long I end up depressed and feeling rejected, as nobody seems to want to / or be able to engage my core, let me display and share the full spectrum.

    I can find them stupid and unworthy or I can hit myself in the head with not having tried hard enough to find the right channel. But it doesn't really matter what explanation I choose. The fact is that it's next to being dead when I have to function at a minimum of potential for a longer period of time. Not having deep meaningful reciprocated connection, not being answered by the world just sucks and drains my life juices, regardless who's to blame.

    I guess introverts feel different about this, not needing the meaningful exchange of multichannel morse codes with the outside to feel the glow of life?
    Last edited by Heart&Brain; 05-10-2009 at 07:39 AM. Reason: spelling

  5. #45
    Senior Member Chloe's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by CzeCze View Post

    I think part of the reason ENFPs may feel "so fake" is that being authentic is very important to us. Being "real"/being "authentic" it's highly valued not just in ourselves but in general in life.
    It's also what makes ENFPs generally very open minded and accepting of other people, curious about the world, and random- we can pretty much accept that people are people as long as you show us who you are.

    True, I'm like obsessed with it.



    I don't know if I've felt "fake" - rather I've felt out of place and wondered why. So I will say that I've felt very much like I was 'searching'. It's an inner journey more than an external one.
    X

    BTW, a lot of people think that extraverted feelers (Fe doms and EFs) are "fake". Haters! LOL. However, in general people, especially extreme introverts (generally crabby or antisocial or just very quiet) have told me the opposite - that they find me very sincere and genuine and they even enjoy my chatter because "it's not the same kind of talking that people do when they talk too much" lol.
    Sure, it is obvious when someone is sincere and when isn't. I notice so much Es that look to me "fake". But some of them aren't, and some are.
    Sometimes only extreme extravertedness all the time can be annoying, even though you can see that person isn't fake, but I still have a theory some people are fake 100% so when they aren't fake they really are, but okay, thats another topic.

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