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  1. #31
    Senior Member sculpting's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lady X View Post
    really?? i don't have a whole lot of real life experience other than family but i think other enfps are so much fun to be with. it's just about the only time i feel like i can just talk w/o walking on some invisible emotional eggshells...always trying to tiptoe around others sensitivities...so in a way i feel more me in their company...and i LOVE it.
    I havent known many, but we have to work in short little bursts. Most I have loved in tiny bites, but the one I work with now-wre drive each other crazy. She called me unethical and implies I dont work hard, but not directly. Our Fis dont really agree on this stuff.

    Quote Originally Posted by Synarch View Post
    I'll take a quick swipe since I find ENFP interesting in their typical lightweightness.

    ENFP's with strong cores will not feel fake, ENFP's with weak cores will feel fake. Why? Because ENFP's with weak core selves let external things determine "who they are" or how they are. The ENFP core is often very diffuse and light so that around stronger personalities they shift and alter. This is why they can feel inauthentic, because they are shifting, chameleon-like to match those around them. They often need "deep connection" (what does this mean?) because they cannot supply their inner emotional needs and identity needs. In fact, I think ENFP's can become stronger by working on developing their own true selves. Reconnecting with who they really are.
    Tuning out Ne incoming crap, and strengthening Fi I think, to become more true to what we feel, rather than what others want us to feel. I think I am going to try meditataion to this goal.

    Quote Originally Posted by Chloee View Post
    Truth. I knew that. But the thing is I don't feel fake, as we said already in thread, i feel pretty me and real when I am clownish, but it looks confusing after, sometimes. I think it is normal to have that 2 or more states, but sure they are more intuned when enfp has stronger self.


    Lady X, happy puppy - I think I am often annoyed (I was before I found for MBTI which made me more accepting for all types) of other Es, and how loud/attention whores they are (of course when you get to know someone its not important is he E/I). I think I know only 1 ENFP, my very good friend, and I am hardly ever annoyed by her. And yes, I know one ENFP girl over internet, she is most wonderful girl I know, so energetic and smart.
    Its perfect when you meet someone E, and I often think that person is coreless, and not deep, and then you see person really has deep core...thats fascinates me -deep Es..
    I think the flexibility of states is an asset, but with other enfps maybe we are being so flexible, that we get all turned topsy-turvy. I LIKE it, not annoyed but it can be draining.

  2. #32
    mod love baby... Lady_X's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Synarch View Post
    I'll take a quick swipe since I find ENFP interesting in their typical lightweightness.

    ENFP's with strong cores will not feel fake, ENFP's with weak cores will feel fake. Why? Because ENFP's with weak core selves let external things determine "who they are" or how they are. The ENFP core is often very diffuse and light so that around stronger personalities they shift and alter. This is why they can feel inauthentic, because they are shifting, chameleon-like to match those around them. They often need "deep connection" (what does this mean?) because they cannot supply their inner emotional needs and identity needs. In fact, I think ENFP's can become stronger by working on developing their own true selves. Reconnecting with who they really are.
    i get what ya mean...yep.

    and to me a deep connection just means truly understanding each other...and it can be rare because of our many facets i think that some people see one side of us and put us into that box but when you meet that person that gets it...all that you are and vice versa it's very fulfilling because i think that kind of understanding is just very important to us.

    and just to clarify...i never felt fake...felt misunderstood...but never fake.
    There can’t be any large-scale revolution until there’s a personal revolution, on an individual level. It’s got to happen inside first.
    -Jim Morrison

  3. #33
    Senior Member Chloe's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lady X View Post

    and just to clarify...i never felt fake...felt misunderstood...but never fake.
    changed topic title because fake is to confusing and basically i expressed wrong -better is confused,misunderstood.

  4. #34
    Senior Member alexx's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lady X View Post
    poki has a point...i get all wired on the good energy vibe and just turn into this silly effusive bubble of a person when in good company...that sounds weird but i think it has to do with the silly switch thing...you get all happy and it just presents iteslf that way...clownish maybe...and it's not that it's fake it's just such a contrast to the deep emotional/thinking introspective person that we also are.



    89% Extroverted ~ 68% Intuition ~ 84% Feeling ~ 89% Perceiving
    Enneagram: 2w1 SO/SP Socionics: ENFp
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    Se 30.4% Si 19.1% - Ne 38.4% Ni 26.4% - Te 23.1% Ti 20% - Fe 46.4% Fi 35.8%
    Sanguine | Phlegmatic
    Right Brain Dominant

  5. #35
    Senior Member Heart&Brain's Avatar
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    While reading this, I realize that I've often felt more ... obliged... to hold on to feelings of depression, grief and regret. As if letting these negative feelings go (or just admitting they are mixed with more positive feelings) would somehow prove that I didn't 'really' feel them, that I am 'really' shallow and volatile. On the contrary I often tend to be harsh on more optimistic, happy and energetic feelings, because I notice that they will come and go and conclude that they were not 'real' to begin with. It's like I don't trust those feelings, but judge them to be illusionary, having experienced them to fade eventually. So if I feel something positive, I am quick to dismiss it or remind myself of all the bad things to 'restore balance'. Whatever that could be.

    Some of you fellow-ENFP's have described so well how both the funny, energetic AND the pensive, serious ENFP are expressions of true self. I agree. Theoretically anyway...

    Why do I treat the bad feelings as something to hold on to? And the good feelings like something not to be trusted? Do you do something like this too?

    For me, I don't think it is really a matter of social pressure or being misunderstood by 'the world'. I suspect the pressure comes from the inside. A poorly developled Fe 6th function (critical parent) perhaps?

    Oh - and Kalach, hi ! Couldn't you please write some more about this deep happiness of ENFP's? I just broke up with my bf and suspect that happiness, whether deep, shallow or mediocre, is really just a fairytale. So please... tell one?

  6. #36
    mod love baby... Lady_X's Avatar
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    ^^ aww...that makes me sad babe.

    i do not do that...quite the opposite actually. i let go of the negative/painful ones rather easily because being in that happy excited place feels more comfortable and natural to me. i'm an enneagram 7 though which could possibly be the reason for that.

    but...being around critical people is toxic for me. a recent relationship was that way and it really just makes me miserable.
    There can’t be any large-scale revolution until there’s a personal revolution, on an individual level. It’s got to happen inside first.
    -Jim Morrison

  7. #37
    Filthy Apes! Kalach's Avatar
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    Well, I assume feeling can arise for all sorts of reasons and in all sorts of conditions. I assume feeling feels more satisfactory if it feels reliable. That is, if you know and approve the origin of that feeling. Like, say, this burst of happiness will stay with me long after the glow has faded because it arose in association with an act I know to be good and worth doing, so I can count on that happiness as having been true.

    Ah, but then, "good" and "worth doing" need definition. Something is "good" if it makes you feel the glow? Or it's "good" because you know it's right to do even if it doesn't make you glow this time? And then you glow anyway because you know you did right.

    I suppose negative feelings feel more valid because they more easily prove something. They prove that something didn't happen, or happened wrong, or wasn't right. Even if just from a logical point of view, I presume it's much easier to prove an absence of a creation than it is to believe something good was created.



    Hey Ma, lookit your son, educatin' about feelin's!
    Yes, son. But don't start telling them what clothes to wear. That's when they'll know you're up to something.

  8. #38
    Phoenix Incarnate Sentura's Avatar
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    i can agree on the shifting personality; i am that sort of person. i wear those personalities as masks. perhaps because of my naivety and because my true face is so distant from everyone that i without doubt would alienate them.

    i have come to realize then that my true face is not worth wasting on those that cannot understand it - and so, in social settings, it is much better to use masks and just go by what people want to hear at a party. not many are willing to listen to intelligent conversation when there's booze to be had, at least not until the end of the party.

    the people i trust my true face with are people i have the greatest confidence in. i trust them to do what is right, because they see things how i see them.

    as for the worthlessness: i have had moments where i could kill myself because of being bound to something. these "bound" events have entirely been things that i have been forced to do; in a more or less liberal way. whenever i work with what i like to work with, i never have those problems. the keyword here is obligation, and how i as ENXP consider obligations barriers/limits that keep me frustrated by removing what i want to do the most: be my true self.

    i don't know how pure ENFPs pass off some things, but being able to sometimes switch over to a more thinking personality has helped me in many situations.
    i hunt INXPs for bounty
    FUNCTION ORDER FOR THOSE THAT CANNOT UNDERSTAND WHAT ENXP MEANS: Ne > Ni > Fi=Ti > *

    ...people tell me i have wildfires in my eyes

  9. #39
    Filthy Apes! Kalach's Avatar
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    People, you're still freaking me out.

    You want to be with people, and you're content to be with them on their terms? Your terms aren't good enough?

    It's that "flex" thing, isn't it? The ability to flex and fold and bend as the moment requires.

    I am currently dealing (or hoping not to deal to much) with an INFP buddy who is digging himself into a deep hole having broken up with an INFJ. He is, it seems to me, mostly down on himself for not having become a different enough person to succeed.



    (That, and he lost his love, but it seems to me those are two different issues.)

  10. #40
    mod love baby... Lady_X's Avatar
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    you know kalach...what i'm seeing here...is ne's ability to bounce off/feed off of what it interprets from it's surroundings...right? and fi is about remaining true to yourself and being authentic...so...they fight a bit...when the ne makes you react in a way that fi disaproves of...there's a sense of discontent and unhappiness with ones self...so...ya gotta keep ne in check and don't let it run the show all the time.

    or something...haven't really thought about it.
    There can’t be any large-scale revolution until there’s a personal revolution, on an individual level. It’s got to happen inside first.
    -Jim Morrison

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