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  1. #1
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    Default Making decisions.

    When making a decision I go by values/feelings but I'm not able to trust my decision until I feel what it's like on both sides. Meaning I'll change my mind once to experience both sides. I won't change my mind on purpose for this reason. I'll just feel very confident about my decision after I have wavered/seen reactions and makes me feel I have a better understanding of situations. Anyone have similar decision making styles or advice?

  2. #2
    Phantonym
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    Absolutely. I can relate to everything you said.

    I like to explore all the sides of everything really.

    Most of the time I feel that I don't really make a definitive decision, but stay in this neutral position, where I can see all the sides. It's like the scales. When a piece of information comes to me, I'll file it in my mind and for some time, the one end of the scales is dominant until another piece of information, supporting the other side, comes along and either balances the scales or tips the other side of it.

    It's not like I'm in this constant flip-flop mode, but I'm open to all information which might make me see things from different perspectives.

    It's funny, I've read that INFJ's tend to make very definitive decisions and nothing can make them change their minds once they've made it Maybe there is this subconscious decision already made and we're really just looking for information to back it up? No matter what we find. Sounds messy

  3. #3
    nevermore lane777's Avatar
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    My indecision and openness to other opinions is the main reason why I doubted my type. I've come to the conclusion now that I'm just light on the J.
    To die would be an awfully big adventure - Peter Pan

    INFJ ~ 4w5 sp/sx ~ RLOAI ~ Inclusion e/w=1/0 (Melancholy Compulsive) Control: e/w=0/6 (Supine) Affection: e/w=4/0 (Phlegmatic Melancholy)

  4. #4
    unscannable Tigerlily's Avatar
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    I suck at making decisions. There always seems to be many options and I can't decide which one to choose so I sit back and contemplate until I am forced to make a choice.
    Time is a delicate mistress.

  5. #5
    lurking.... Wyst's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by karenk View Post
    When making a decision I go by values/feelings but I'm not able to trust my decision until I feel what it's like on both sides. Meaning I'll change my mind once to experience both sides. I won't change my mind on purpose for this reason. I'll just feel very confident about my decision after I have wavered/seen reactions and makes me feel I have a better understanding of situations. Anyone have similar decision making styles or advice?
    Yep - I totally relate to this.
    This is exactly what I've been dealing with for years when it comes to relationships. With relationships though, if I change my mind, more often than not, I'll end up not moving forward into a relationship.

    Fear that it won't work out? Probably. My problem is that I live to much in the possible but not probable future rather than living in the now. That's something I've been working on intentionally over the past several months.

  6. #6
    Senior Member Kyrielle's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Wyst View Post
    My problem is that I live to much in the possible but not probable future rather than living in the now. That's something I've been working on intentionally over the past several months.
    Yes. That's a big obstacle for me, too. Is getting over the need to know what will happen down the road, especially in relationships.

    Anyway, regarding the OP, yes, I'm the same way. When making a decision, I have to turn the whole situation upside down, inside out, backwards, forwards--every direction and examine all those sides before I can be sure about my own decision. The reason why I can arrive at a decision quickly is because I can do this sort of "scenario projection" very, very quickly in my head. I think it might be a specialty of Ni with some of the fine-tuned analysis backed up by Ti.
    "I took the one less traveled by,
    And that has made all the difference."

    Robert Frost

  7. #7
    nevermore lane777's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by lane777 View Post
    My indecision and openness to other opinions is the main reason why I doubted my type. I've come to the conclusion now that I'm just light on the J.
    Never mind that, I have recently come to learn that of all J types, INFJ's are the most indecisive due to our strong Fe; we're keenly aware of how our opinions may affect others... will it offend or create conflict? Generally, I only share my strong opinions with those who are very close to me, or those who I know can handle it (usually T's).

    It seems our I is effected by Fe as well, making us the least introverted of all I's because of our strong desire to connect emotionally with others.

    It's no wonder we're so difficult to type.
    To die would be an awfully big adventure - Peter Pan

    INFJ ~ 4w5 sp/sx ~ RLOAI ~ Inclusion e/w=1/0 (Melancholy Compulsive) Control: e/w=0/6 (Supine) Affection: e/w=4/0 (Phlegmatic Melancholy)

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