I was deep in discussion with a fellow speculator until about 3am in college one night. What he said, finally, was:
"Time is this all-encompassing force that kicks ass and makes you die."
I lol'd, like I had never lol'd before.
Lately, I feel like I have been having "Groundhog's Day" syndrome. Where every day I wake up and it's like the previous day never happened, and I haven't made any "progress" in life. For example, something good happens at work, but then the next day it's like it never happened, and I feel like I have to "prove" myself all over again. It's like I didn't make any progress because since something is in the past, it is meaningless, and the only thing that holds sway is whatever is in the present, the now, each second as it ticks by on the clock. What is the point of time if no progress is made; is time only a vehicle which entropy chauffers us off a cliff in at some point via the third law of thermodynamics?
I feel like I am supposed to exist based on some timeline: be born, go to school, get a job, get married, have kids, etc. I feel like I am existing outside this timeline. Why aren't I married or have kids yet? I think back to the last time I went out with someone before recently, and it was years ago actually but in my INFP-time it is just yesterday. Do I need to change my thinking in relation to time to get fully integrated into the "groove" of the world and "sync" up with everything around me? Am I out of phase somehow, in a sense?
Time for me seems very non-linear. It does not feel like things are progressing through a time-line. Because of this, I have a hard time telling people when something happened in the past. I know mostly how it made me feel, but I can't give a day, month, or often a year either. So, I don't talk much about the past because it's embarrassing. For example, what year did I graduate? Well, for me, it's fairly irrelevant unless I need to put it on a form somewhere. Or, for example, in the "now" I am sitting at my computer typing, on an Internet forum, but this has been the case over the past decade at various times of the day, so when is now? As I am putting on my Ne walking shoes to take a trip into the future, what relevance does a timeline of the past hold? Does this make any sense, can anyone relate to this, especially those who are Ne?
More in-depth description is probably needed than a single post can provide, but I thought I'd get this discussion started anyway...