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  1. #1
    resonance entropie's Avatar
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    Default How to win an INFJs heart ?

    I am convinced, if you are the right entp, you will get all the love you need + her heart, which you value like the most precious jewel you ever had and care for every living second, no questions asked.

    [YOUTUBE="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DYkNBSHdsdA"]Shadow[/YOUTUBE]

    One question, though, I never understood. Why me ?
    [URL]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tEBvftJUwDw&t=0s[/URL]

  2. #2
    Member Vildechaya's Avatar
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    You must have good morals. My sister is an INFJ and could never overlook bad morals (sneaky behavior, dishonesty) in a partner.
    INtP...RCUEI primary I...5w4...INTp... ILI...The Artist Formerly Known As Car!ssa

  3. #3
    Senior Member Winds of Thor's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by entropie View Post
    I am convinced, if you are the right entp, you will get all the love you need + her heart, which you value like the most precious jewel you ever had and care for every living second, no questions asked.

    [YOUTUBE="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DYkNBSHdsdA"]Shadow[/YOUTUBE]

    One question, though, I never understood. Why me ?
    An ENTP Theory: Patience and Honesty. Sincere love. You need to show her what's inside yourself, not what is stereotypical or superficial, ever. Don't be concerned with how everybody else is doing things.

    DO Be yourself.

    Show her what you really think. She may relate to your thoughts and feel the comfort which she deeply needs. Perhaps conflicted between Fe and Ni, there is a vast difference from what one thinks inside and what is considered socially acceptable or what most people seem to value. Do what your inner voice knows is right. Show her your soul. Consistently. She will respect your autonomy as you do too as an ENTP. That right there is "something in common". She may say things contrary to your believing that, but that might just be, and probably is, her Fe and Ni conflicting with each other, an inner friction or dilemma. She will probably think these things over and have a tendency to err on the side of her Ni thoughts as she has a tendency to do things her own way anyway. In the end your understanding and overlooking of this will show that you accept her and the fact that (if you are) willing, that you care about her and overlook these things, knowing they're there, caring at the same time.

    Just be honest. I believe in your words...
    "...which you value like the most precious jewel you ever had and care for every living second, no questions asked"
    Best wishes.
    "..And the eight and final rule: If this is your first time at Fight Club, you have to fight."
    'Men are meant to be with women. The rest is perversion and mental illness.'

  4. #4
    Seriously Delirious Udog's Avatar
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    That's sweet entropie.

    I like Avatar's post. Seems like solid advice. The people I know that won over an INFJ did it by showing them their thoughts, sharing their mind, and taking them out on fun adventures.

  5. #5
    Senior Member alexx's Avatar
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    Not "wining" a heart, but getting in there....

    My best friend is an INFJ and we just are ourselves. Sometimes we are goofy and others serious. Most of the time out interaction is really light-hearted. Its like our positive energy feeds off one another and just gets even more... positive? He didn't "show" himself to me at first but over time he did.

    I've never had a friend that I can just say exactly what is on my mind and not worry about offending etc. Our morals are nearly identical that it just isnt a big deal.

    The strange thing is when faced with a problem, we both discuss but he comes at it from another place than I do. We come up with great solutions together because he makes points I would never think of and vis-versa.

    It feels like one of those rare life-long friendships, and I am thankful to have such a caring, bright, funny, all around great guy as a friend.

    89% Extroverted ~ 68% Intuition ~ 84% Feeling ~ 89% Perceiving
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    Sanguine | Phlegmatic
    Right Brain Dominant

  6. #6
    Iron Maiden fidelia's Avatar
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    Be clear that you want them around (they are super-sensitive to busyness, potential rejection, abstraction, impatience, annoyance etc)

    Consistent character no matter who you are with. (especially in how you treat other people and how authentically yourself you are)

    Don't debate for sport. Only do it if you truly want a discussion. INFJs will only show their interests, passions, opinions and beliefs to those who really want to know and who are respectful of the privilege they are being given. Otherwise you don't get to know any more or you need to apologize and proceed carefully. This also goes for mocking anything that the INFJ holds near and dear - ideas, places, people, work. They don't bother spending time with too many things they don't really care about.

    Care passionately about something and share what it is and why you are so excited about it.

    Share your thoughts/thought processes. INFJs don't like being left to guess and usually assume the worst, making them rather emotional (and unattractive to NTs). They also do better if you resolve conflict rather than leaving it be.

    Make them feel comfortable before they are thrown into a situation. Two of my boyfriends in the past won me over by teaching me something and making me feel confident at it.

    Pay attention to details and remember them. One boyfriend surprised me with the Charlie Brown Christmas movie (a yearly tradition for me) and my favorite flavour of ice cream months after I had mentioned them.

    Allow INFJ to do things for you and show your appreciation for their thoughtfulness. They almost can't not give, but they also like people to notice that they have tried really hard.

    Tell them why you like them, were interested in becoming friends (dating,whatever). They like knowing how other people view them and what makes them stand out.

    Curiosity is attractive to INFJs. So is people who are good at fixing things and the practical aspects of life, while still being able to talk as an N.

    Criticism is something that you need to do very carefully. It often is taken personally even if meant very impersonally by an NT as an observation or statement.

    Find ways to show that you are thinking of them. It may seem like coddling a bit when they know how you feel, but it will pay off. Notes, a wink or a smile across a crowded room, looking for their eyes when you walk into a roomful of people, making traditions for special occasions and so on will all pay great dividends. You people are pretty creative.

    If you need to go into a mental cave to think, say good bye before you leave (preferably not leaving while the INFJ is talking) and if you know, mention when you may be back. Otherwise you risk provoking an emotional response.

  7. #7
    Iron Maiden fidelia's Avatar
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    Oh yeah, make them try new things - food, experiences etc. They'll like you for it, as long as you don't push them into something too big before they've warmed up to the idea.

    Treat the people close to them with the respect that you would the INFJ themselves because to the INFJ it's almost the same thing. If they like someone flaky, they'll eventually figure it out and give them up. When they do keep someone like that in their life, they are not really dupeable longterm, although it may take them awhile to give up on contributing to the person's life or effecting positive change. They don't give up too easily, but that is a good thing most of the time.

  8. #8
    resonance entropie's Avatar
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    I just laughed about the thread title until I saw who started it :double-lol:

    I wanted to respond to the OP with this:

    -----------------------------

    I dont know how it is with your INFJs, but mine I won that way:

    [YOUTUBE="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CfnizRqgh5Y"].[/YOUTUBE]
    [URL]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tEBvftJUwDw&t=0s[/URL]

  9. #9
    Revelation Lauren Ashley's Avatar
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    Fidelia, I'm going to need you to stop exposing us INFJs. You know we hate that.

    And stop being so insightful. I forbid you. Say no more!

  10. #10
    resonance entropie's Avatar
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    You are not the only folks who got empathy
    [URL]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tEBvftJUwDw&t=0s[/URL]

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