It's the interaction between you and them. There is a heavy lacing of your own interpretation, irritation and condemnation in your posts that are directed towards a particular type of behaviour. You rank yourself as sensitive to what you believe they show. The examples you give are personally irritating, whereas I would easily be described the same way, at least until you escalate it into an all out drama-fest... how did you say...? "workplace destruction", right. I don't know if you are a manager, or you are simply on the side of it and are passing judgment, either way, there is some form of interaction going on that makes this more than just "INFP"s.
You won't be able to understand what you describe on its own because it simply does not apply to the INFP mindset. Either the people you describe are not INFPs, the ones you have dealt with are seriously unhealthy, or it is your interaction with them that has created this problem.
If you have met more than 4-5 without any infps being unlike this, I'm assuming you are working from a pool of people greater than a 100, which means I believe they are either not INFPs or it is your interpretation or your interaction which has caused this issue.
(edit: And no offense intended, but observing your reactions to the INFPs here, and to a lack of direct answers, I'd be placing my money on your interaction style with them.)