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  1. #1
    Member cheerchick23's Avatar
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    Default Touchiness... ENFP version

    Ok so briochick posted this a bit ago:

    I want to know if many of the other INFP/Js are like this too. I don't like being touched by people I don't know. I can stand it but I am quite uncomfortable with it. Even those who I would consider pretty close friends I'm not hugely physically affectionate with. It's not that I'm not capable of it. Those people who have gotten into my heart (ie. my family, boyfriends-after-a-time, a select few girl friends) I am very physically affectionate with. I snuggle, hug, hand hold, sit upon, launch myself at. But, until that mysterious and very difficult to reach line has been crossed to someone I can "truly trust" I am not very physical. Even a hug is pretty awkward. This can also make things with guys kind of strained as even a guy touching my hand can end up a big deal, just because my body is my own and I hardly let anyone touch me. Is this normal for any of the rest of you?
    and i read it and realized that i'm almost polar opposite. so this might not have anything to do with being an ENFP... or maybe it does! but i'm one of the most touchy people you will ever meet! i'm so physically affectionate to everyone (mainly friends and acquaintances) that one of my best girl friends said "if anyone would be able to turn me into a lesbian, it would be you!" haha!

    not only i am super comfortable with being very touchy... but i'm also very um, raunchy, in the way i speak. there's virtually no line i won't cross when i'm talking/thinking. (of course i tone things down in inappropriate places, i.e. work/school) but get me with my friends and everyone's surprised at how "perverted" and "out there" i can get! not just in the sexual realm but in all areas of taboo. but the weird thing is i would never actually do the things i talk about. it's like my mind can visualize/fantasize/verbalize/explore thousands of mega-taboos, but my body has definite lines it won't cross. with most of my friends, it seems like their mental and physical "lines" mesh up.... but not for me. i'm concerned with consequences and morals and ethics as seen by society, so i control myself in real life. but in my head i've explored more taboos than most people even know exist. if i hadn't have learned that some things were "wrong" by worldly/spiritual/moral standards i'd think they're completely acceptable in my mind. when i haven't learned all the details of the wrongs and rights to something, i'm so open minded that i accept almost anything and see a logical argument as to why one would think it's okay.

    hmm... i think i'm rambling and having trouble verbalizing the rest of my thoughts on this. i hope you understand what i'm trying to say, but if you don't, just ask me and i will clarify!!

  2. #2
    Large Member Ender's Avatar
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    Typology as side, I would say you're not alone in thinking those thoughts. I for example have a very morbid, twisted, sarcastic sense of humor. My own mother comments at times on how the things I say at times are mean or cruel. Friends in the past have commented on the fact that they're surprised at the things I say at times. To certain people I'm known to say the most off the wall things getting comments like "the things that come out of your mouth at times".

    Yet my actions are almost always the opposite. I would never do what I say at times just like you.

    It may have to do with upbringing more then anything. My mom for example, never criticized me for thinking those thoughts, even tho she would comment on how mean or cruel they were, she'd be laughing at the same time, so I always felt secure in actually saying them.

    Physical affection wise, I am a massive teddy bear. I can't seem to get enough of it at times. Overall tho, I'm very hands off, and tend to stay away from people in general, a lot like briochick.
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  3. #3
    The Duchess of Oddity Queen Kat's Avatar
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    I can't stand it when people touch me. When someone touches me, I really feel like beating the crap out of them (even if that person is a friend, I know, it's weird). But I don't because then I'll get in trouble and stuff and that makes it even more frustrating. No, there are very few people who can touch me.
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  4. #4
    Senior Member Chloe's Avatar
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    I love when people touch me but I ADORE touching people, like touching their clothes, hair... but that is only when I am in to them.. but its some kind of "getting to know you" ... like i sniff them

  5. #5
    Senior Member IEE623's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by cheerchick23 View Post
    not just in the sexual realm but in all areas of taboo. but the weird thing is i would never actually do the things i talk about. it's like my mind can visualize/fantasize/verbalize/explore thousands of mega-taboos, but my body has definite lines it won't cross.


    i'm very similar with you on that.
    "Adversity makes men, and prosperity makes monsters"

  6. #6
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    To cheerchick,

    I am relieved to hear that there is a line that you won't cross despite your raunchy style of talking! My IRL ENFPs sound like you or you sound like my IRL ENFPs!!! I've often wondered whether they did not hear themselves speak or whether they were saying this to SHOCK my more prudish self, or what???

    My IRL ENFP are so ...unconventional that I sometimes wonder what they can gain from friendship with such a staid person as me? But then ENFP are known for their large network, are they not?

    Like I said, I am relieved...IF you can be speaking for all ENFP, of course!

  7. #7
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    To Cheerchick,

    oh and that line by your friend, yea i can see that. ENFP typically exude charm and appeal that cross the gender line!

  8. #8
    Senior Member Moiety's Avatar
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    Unless it's a mutual thing (like a friend I haven't seen in ages) and appropriate for a certain situation (I dunno....waltzing or something :P) then I don't really see the point for a lot of touching with someone I'm not romantically involved with, no. And female friends get no special treatment in this regard.

  9. #9
    Was E.laur Laurie's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by cheerchick23 View Post
    But the weird thing is i would never actually do the things i talk about. it's like my mind can visualize/fantasize/verbalize/explore thousands of mega-taboos, but my body has definite lines it won't cross. with most of my friends, it seems like their mental and physical "lines" mesh up.... but not for me.
    I agree. I can talk about anything and it shocks people. It's really not a big deal to me but it seems like it is to other people.

  10. #10
    mod love baby... Lady_X's Avatar
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    i'm actually not really very physically affectionate with many people...i have a few friends that i feel that way with and when in a relationship i am but otherwise no.
    There can’t be any large-scale revolution until there’s a personal revolution, on an individual level. It’s got to happen inside first.
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