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  1. #1
    Senior Member whimsical's Avatar
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    Default I am good at writing, but suck at conversing

    Unfortunately I cannot go about handing around folded letters of paper containing my deepest thoughts (which by the way are humorously written and interesting to read) and such to random people I have yet to become close with.

    why lord

    why
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  2. #2
    rawr Costrin's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by whimsical View Post
    Unfortunately I cannot go about handing around folded letters of paper containing my deepest thoughts (which by the way are humorously written and interesting to read) and such to random people I have yet to become close with.

    why lord

    why
    Why can't you?
    "All humour has a foundation of truth."
    - Costrin

  3. #3
    Senior Member whimsical's Avatar
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    Either they would think I was weird, or that I didn't have the ability to speak, or they would just throw the paper and would not bother to read it at all.
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  4. #4
    rawr Costrin's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by whimsical View Post
    Either they would think I was weird, or that I didn't have the ability to speak, or they would just throw the paper and would not bother to read it at all.
    But a small minority would read it, and understand.
    "All humour has a foundation of truth."
    - Costrin

  5. #5
    Sniffles
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    I notice this often with me too. I have problems conversing for long periods without messing up at least once; where my mind will go completely blank and I have no idea what to say or even how to say it properly. This happened earlier today during one conversation.

    Although then again it depends. During Ni moments, I can spout off wonderful insights about any and everything with such clarity it's even amazes me. But afterwards, I'm lucky to forge a coherent sentence asking for somebody to pass the salt.

  6. #6
    Senior Member whimsical's Avatar
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    That is probably correct, I have never thought about it that way, but now that I have, I still would never go to all that work and possible embarrassment.
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  7. #7
    Senior Member SpottingTrains's Avatar
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    Read what you write out loud almost as if you were talking to another person in the room. It sounds like you have a lot of things to say you just haven't had enough time to hone your speaking skills

    This worked really good for me because I used to talk really , really fast.

  8. #8
    @.~*virinaĉo*~.@ Totenkindly's Avatar
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    Speaking is a different skill than writing.

    - Speaking is direct, writing is indirect (the paper/computer acts as a buffer)
    - Speaking is in real-time and linear, where you have to allow mistakes to ride and correct them by weaving them into your later comments, while writing allows for editing and thus a "more cohesive" first product, you can edit spatially in a sense and mistakes can actually be eradicated before the reader sees them.
    - Speaking involves lots of physicality -- the sound and tone and inflection of voice, body language, facial expression -- while writing is based far more on your ideas and what you want to present, you can much better control your "presentation" of self.

    I guess my point is that they are different skills, so being good at one doesn't mean you will be good at the other right away despite both being communication modes. So don't feel bad; I am far better at writing, but after lots of practice in conversation with others, my speaking skills have improved tremendously, so it's possible to get past the fear and feelings of ineptitude.
    "Hey Capa -- We're only stardust." ~ "Sunshine"

    “Pleasure to me is wonder—the unexplored, the unexpected, the thing that is hidden and the changeless thing that lurks behind superficial mutability. To trace the remote in the immediate; the eternal in the ephemeral; the past in the present; the infinite in the finite; these are to me the springs of delight and beauty.” ~ H.P. Lovecraft

  9. #9
    it's a nuclear device antireconciler's Avatar
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    It's kind of nice when you do start talking like you write, I find, because suddenly you have so much more confidence in yourself. For me, I think that's all that was missing. When I start talking like I write, it's like it takes quite a bit of audacity. It's like we're trained to qualify everything we say or put it out there like other people can just take it or leave it like it's just our opinion. To speak as though we know what we are talking about and won't be judged for any mistake takes the courage to stand out as yourself, and like what you have to say even if others don't. Like SpottingTrains says, it takes a lot of slowing down and taking other people's attention for granted. They can wait and listen to you for you to finish your thoughts.

    Maybe a lot of people do this naturally, and this is what makes them extroverted and so naturally assume that what they say is interesting. It's a quality I would LOVE to have.

    People listen to anyone who talks like they know, and don't to anyone who seems not to. It's just ridiculous how much of conversation is based on the way you make people feel rather than what you are saying. They are generally not aware of what is affecting them however brilliant their own thoughts or contributions. There will still almost always be that layer of thoughtless animal looking-for-a-leader feeling underneath.
    ~ a n t i r e c o n c i l e r
    What is death, dies.
    What is life, lives.

  10. #10
    heart on fire
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    Quote Originally Posted by whimsical View Post
    Unfortunately I cannot go about handing around folded letters of paper containing my deepest thoughts (which by the way are humorously written and interesting to read) and such to random people I have yet to become close with.

    why lord

    why
    You are INFP. :pats on back: It's okay.

    But seriously I am the same way and yes, it is frustrating.

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