I have been wondering something like this myself for quite some time now. This post was brilliant! But that brings a question of mine into light...
Hypothetically if one of my best friends were an ENTJ female. And I had developed deeper feelings for her, how could/would/should I make it known that I would like to more on to a more serious relationship with her? Would it be best to wait and hold off and hope the feelings develop in return, and is that a solution that will likely be successful? What do you think?
r0wo1 the destroyer of threads has struck again...
Some examples that I see of the INFP and ENTJ complementing each other:
-The INFP wishes he could more easily tell the people he wants to fuck off to actually fuck off; the ENTJ easily tells the people he wants to fuck off because it doesn't occur to him that he should curb himself or do otherwise.
not true. I know I should curb it, it's just that sometimes the need to tell someone he's being a moron overrides propriety.
Originally Posted by Harlow_Jem
-The INFP wishes he could more easily assert his intentions, desires, etc but worries he will be misunderstood; the ENTJ naturally asserts his intentions, desires, etc. without worrying he will be misunderstood.
also, false. I want to be understood, and usually try to make myself as clear as possible. I appreciate it when people don't beat around the bush when something should be said.
Originally Posted by Harlow_Jem
Also, we just seem to understand each other perfectly. I don't know, I can't really explain the curious dynamics I feel as an ENTJ between the INFP and the ENTJ. It just works. I think that's why it's so perfect because you don't need to rationalize out why it feels right. The fact that there is no cognitive dissonance that arises out of its instinctual sense of rightness between one's feelings and rationality makes it just....right.
no need to rationalize our feelings? really? it doesn't matter if there's an actual need; you're rationalizing the attraction right now. it's how we respond to things we feel strongly about. the important thing is that an INFP might be able to say why we appreciate logic, and how we could take a few steps back from it occasionally.
you also didn't include, in your rationalization, the incredible patience that INFPs seem to have with us-- it constantly amuses and mystifies me, and I love it.
I can see in theory how the original poster enjoys having her INFP male give her valuable insight to her psyche or things that she may have trouble with but as a male INFP in an INFP ENTJ relationship I have to say that my personal perspective is quite the opposite.
In this corner, INFP male (patriarchal upbringing), Scorpio, breadwinner (in excess of $180k a year), $ saver. Laid back, happy go lucky, underachieving genius existentialist.
In that corner, ENTJ female (Italian matriarchal upbringing), Taurus, school teacher, $ spender. Concretist.
Biggest issues = sex, money, ambition, control.
ENTJ refuses to be flexible on femininity, sexuality, spending, and status. Fights for control constantly.
INFP wants to be laid back, buy a cat, play video games, have sexy time.
INFP tries to impose femininity, softness, sexuality on ENTJ
ENTJ tries to impose dominance, ambition, drive to INFP.
INFP feels he has "made it financially"
ENTJ feels that there needs to be more and instantiates three businesses INFP could care less about.... "someone had to make us successful"
INFP hates structure. ENTJ gets off on structure.
INFP enjoys intellectual pursuits. ENTJ would rather go to football game.
Hilarity ensues... businesses fail... no money... INFP longs for tender love of a female.... finds artist to have an affair with. ENTJ can not deal. Arms up with a boyfriend. Here we are. Still together, likely divorce. Two year old son.
This might have been a workable situation if ENTJ had a 15 inch penis and INFP had a soft pliant vagina. A match made in hell.
Last edited by unixgod; 09-04-2009 at 10:51 AM.
Reason: I meant to say ENTJ not ESTJ... wife is ENTJ
First, sorry to hear about your woes. ESTJ (f) and INFP (m) seems like a very difficult match, despite the fact that ESTJ (m) and INFP (f) seems to actually be a pretty good one. Adherence to typical gender roles can be very important to an ESTJ. ENTJs are less likely to follow typical gender roles, and are more likely to create their own definitions. I don't think you can predict ENTJ-INFP success by modeling it after the ESTJ-INFP relationship.
One thing I will say, is that some ExTJ's can be very focused on power and success. There are alot of 'gold diggers' and status seekers within the two types, and it's something to be wary of.
I think the INFP can be good to help them relax that characteristic. However, you have to have an ExTJ that desires that type of growth.
Yeah, that is absolutely key. I have a close ENTJ friend that needs to learn some balance... it doesn't seem like right now he wants to pursue that balance, though. He would probably crush an INFP if pursued one at the moment. Well... any F for that matter. Although that that could just be me being presumptuous. He claims he's a big softy in relationships... but I can't imagine his domineering attitude just vanishing
I have an inner monologue that sounds strikingly similar to something off Animal Planet.