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[MBTI General] Why the INFP male is the ideal match from an ENTJ female perspective

Kalach

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i have an ENTJ friend with a pretty turbulent past. i sometimes try to ask her, but for the life of her she can't/doesn't want to "let it out". it seems like she has no regard whatsoever for feeling because she can't understand it properly - even her own. i don't usually worry about people, but i reckon she'll have a breakdown soon if it isn't let out.

Every time I talk about this topic I feel like I'm undermining ENTJ strength. Asking them to back up, away from their relief function, Se, taking action. How does one take action about past events? See, for me, it's sort of obvious, I talk something over--cuz I'm used to sitting around and thinking a lot before taking any action--and it clarifies my involvement in what to do next. But that suits my preferred function order, Fi before Se.

WW(INFP)D? Be an exemplar? ENTJ like progress and taking action. INFP wants to get something done and has a whole long thing of feeling first. ENTJ gets involved and works it out as the project goes along? Little piece by little piece, not as a whole, rushed, uncontrolled flood?

Dunno.
 

BlackCat

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i have an ENTJ friend with a pretty turbulent past. i sometimes try to ask her, but for the life of her she can't/doesn't want to "let it out". it seems like she has no regard whatsoever for feeling because she can't understand it properly - even her own. i don't usually worry about people, but i reckon she'll have a breakdown soon if it isn't let out.

Just keep being there for her, eventually she will let it out. My ENTJ buddy "let it out" about his breakup with his girlfriend to me eventually. I'm guessing through Se relief he kept trying to do things he enjoyed in the physical world to try to get over it, such as playing his guitar, inviting me to go places with him etc. He never let it look like he was bothered by it, except for the fact that he was more hyper active than usual. Then one day he just kinda... Sent me a message over myspace and he talked to me about it.

That was cool. That tells me that he trusts me. :) And I'm more than willing to help.
 

MacGuffin

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Ideal?

Maybe, but in practice I suspect this specific combination fails far more than succeeds.
 

nanook

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so what? maybe striving for an ideal is worth more than striving for something "successful"
 

simulatedworld

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^ Sure, not saying that it isn't worth trying...just that there's no real evidence in favor of calling it "ideal."

But what do I know? I'm only concerned with superficial things.
 

nanook

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i rephrase: you are putting words into my mouth AND spread the misrepresentations over multiple threads


nanook said:
you are putting words in my mouth, liar!

btw (since you assume in your rep to me, that i was perhaps trying to hide anything), i had the above posting deleted and send you a reputation with the same words, because i did not want to invade Harlow Jems thread with something that is off topic, but since you replied to the rep in this thread, its on you. actually transparency is my strength. i am quite okay, and eventually people will see that.
 

Kalach

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Ideal?

Maybe, but in practice I suspect this specific combination fails far more than succeeds.

<Gaff>But then again, who does?</Gaff>


Ooh, I wonder if what INFPs do is work on ENTJ Ni.

It seems sort of obvious that they're supposed to work on Fi, but lower level Fi doesn't get engaged properly unless upper level functions are engaged. So-o-o-... what happens is ENTJs being prone, necessarily, to practical decision-making, it's Ni that turns their key. Ni sort of comes to mimic Fi by including feeling-like possibilities in the practical decision. Then they do something, and Fi sitting down on the bottom rung of the ladder to success... warms up! Because something like it was engaged in the decision.

It's just a guess. It comes from thinking about INTJ type descriptions. Somewhere or other it says we aren't all that empathic (duh!) but Ni can come to mimic feeling awareness by providing intuitive awareness of what that gesture means, or this sneer, or what is going on when someone burst into tears.

Go Team Cyborg!
 

Udog

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Ideal?

Maybe, but in practice I suspect this specific combination fails far more than succeeds.

For an INFP male is there a type where this doesn't apply?
 

MacGuffin

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For an INFP male is there a type where this doesn't apply?
I don't know.

I know that wives of INTP men came out as the most dissatisfied when ranking married couples based on MBTI. I can't imagine INFP men are that far off from INTP men.
 

whimsical

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If she says, I said it to test the ENTJs boundaries (and jangle some INFPs into showing something), then yes, she can explain it more.




Look for someone in charge who speaks bluntly and seems to have no inhibition about saying personal things that would embarrass normal people but who gets quizzical and puzzled if there is some mention of feeling. Like they have some unbalancing secret.

And that's why INFPs and ENTJs go well together. Or that's why people who focus on understanding and growing personal feeling go well with people who focus on more or less anything else so long as it's outside of them and tangible.

I worry about ENTJs. They're like walking wounded. And I can usually do nothing about it.



That's weird coming from me, I know. I don't like always being the ENTJ's saboteur.
I believe I have spotted a few ENTJs and ESTJs, the thing about them is that I actually find some of them quite intimidating because of their social non-inhibition, but I should definitely try interacting with them more
 

JivinJeffJones

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Re the OP: I could see that. Not for me personally, but I'm not a "healthy INFP male". I think we had one on this forum once, but he was probably mistyped. He quit amidst a flurry of recriminations, anyway.
 

Udog

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I don't know.

Yeah, I'm not sure either.

I do think INFP males should keep in check their desire for what is probably the least common female MBTI type. We are talking 1 out of every 100 people, and many of them won't be compatible with INFPs.

I know that wives of INTP men came out as the most dissatisfied when ranking married couples based on MBTI. I can't imagine INFP men are that far off from INTP men.

INTP men do take the crown, but INFP and then ISFP men were right behind ya. INTPs get hurt by a general failure to notice the emotions of their partner, I think, whereas INFPs and ISFPs have that socially taboo Fi dom thing going on.

Although, in the case of INFP and INTP I think we have another issue that I haven't seen addressed on the forums. That thread is forthcoming...
 

MacGuffin

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Make sure to link to it, otherwise I might miss it.
 

Vanitas

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As an ENTJ, I was involved with an INFP man awhile ago. I'm not against the ideas of this thread, just sharing an experience, if it's okay. : ]

From the outside the relationship was all good -we never fought (which was probably the problem)-, but I was frustated because he didn't seem to care whether I stayed loyal/ was serious or not. I baited and he didn't bite. In public. So that relationship spiraled down to keeping appearances and then promptly died.

A few months after, I found out that he actually cared and was serious but didn't know how to show it. Apparently he was intimidated by my 'lack of seriousness/ amount of feelings involved/ commitment' and opted to joke about his (of all things. /sighs).
While from my side it was "Why should I care if he doesn't?".

So yeah. Communication. It might seem unfair, but we don't tend to put our hearts on stake when there's little reason/ security to do so.

Other than that, my best experience/ furthest relationship was with an INTP, apparently (just asked). I don't get these dissatisfied wives.
 

Udog

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A few months after, I found out that he actually cared and was serious but didn't know how to show it. Apparently he was intimidated by my 'lack of seriousness/ amount of feelings involved/ commitment' and opted to joke about his (of all things. /sighs).
While from my side it was "Why should I care if he doesn't?".

I actually lost an awesome girl because I did that exact same thing. Life had to teach me the hard way not to do that...

Other than that, my best experience/ furthest relationship was with an INTP, apparently (just asked). I don't get these dissatisfied wives.

INTPs are fully capable of making their partner happy. I think the problem is that many of them don't prioritize that aspect of their marriage.
 

runvardh

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I've had too many relationships where talking didn't happen. Later ones I tried to initiate, but got no where. These days if I can't talk to a girl about something that's not working right I leave. I'm actually thinking on keeping sex off the list of possible activities until after we've had our first fight and managed to resolve it.
 

Chris_in_Orbit

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Maybe, but I think a societal misconception in this whole theory is that the masculine is best paired with the feminine. Honestly, those are the couplings that have the most problems because there are two different communication styles. People in general are best paired with someone close to them on the masculine ----- feminine spectrum just because there is less of a communication block.
 
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