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  1. #1
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    Default ESTJ and INFP Relationship?

    Romantically speaking.


    Your thoughts?
    4w3 sx/sp? INFP, INFp

  2. #2
    half-nut member briochick's Avatar
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    I think it *could* work. I think that if it did work it would be one of those things everyone else talked about because they were jealous. I also think that if not done right or not done with the right person it could be a brilliant disaster. I personally haven't yet met an estj I could stand yet, or better yet one who could stand me but that is personal experience and I don't think it's fair to pit a few experiences against millions of people and then generalize. I'm sure there are some ESTJs who are not jerks out there. ;-)
    -Brio

    "I have never in my life envied a human being who led an easy life; I have envied a great many people who led difficult lives and led them well."
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  3. #3
    Senior Member Nonsensical's Avatar
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    It could work at the surface level. It depends on what level of relationship you want. Social, healthy, spiritual, it all depends. I won't be absolute, but I think it pretty rare that an ESTJ and INFP would be able to form a spiritual, or deep relationship. I'm pretty sure it wouldn't work..at all, sorry to say. If you wanted a simple relationship that was very rich and deep, then yes.
    Is it that by its indefiniteness it shadows forth the heartless voids and immensities of the universe, and thus stabs us from behind with the thought of annihilation, when beholding the white depths of the milky way?

  4. #4
    Senior Member Jeremy's Avatar
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    I think it could potentially be one of the most rewarding relationships, merely because of the fact that ESTJs and INFPs are very different, but at the same time, have the potential to be very similar to and learn from each other. INFPs have a lot to learn about the practical side of themselves that they relegate to the third and fourth functions, and ESTJs have a lot to learn about the quiet and reflective INFP types that they tend to push aside. Both would have to be very mature, of course, in order to avoid meaningless conflict over simple issues, but if those could be overcome, it could potentially be one of the most deep and rewarding relationships out there for both parties involved.

    I know I learn a lot from my ESTJ friendships, because of the fact that we are so different. We view the world through a different lens, but at the same time, we are able to get over that and have a great friendship despite it. I don't really have any petty conflict with any of my friends that identify as ESTJ.
    "Can you set me free from this dark inner world? Save me now, last beats in the soul.."

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  5. #5
    Was E.laur Laurie's Avatar
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    INFJ and ESTJ maybe. INFP? Eh?

  6. #6
    Senior Member Jeremy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Elaur View Post
    INFJ and ESTJ maybe. INFP? Eh?
    I think any type combination can work. Just because you have a different code doesn't mean you can't have a deep or committed relationship, and it's not even a reasonable barometer for success. At the very most, it can help you understand the dynamics of your relationship better, but the MBTI is definitely is not a way to determine the chances of it working out. You're much better off getting to know someone intimately, because the MBTI only measures the face they present to the outer world - it's not the whole of the person. The personality underneath the code is what truly makes a relationship work - which is probably how I'm such good friends with people who, according to the MBTI, should be natural conflict magnets for me.

    In conclusion,
    ESTJ + INFP = <3
    "Can you set me free from this dark inner world? Save me now, last beats in the soul.."

    Fonewearl and proud of it!

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  7. #7
    Seriously Delirious Udog's Avatar
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    If it's an ESTJ male with an INFP female, it's actually one of the most successful and common opposite pairings available. ESTJ female and INFP male will run into gender role issues, which can be exacerbated by the female being SJ.

    If you're interested in a more detailed response, give me a nudge on Monday and I'll type one up.

  8. #8
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    Ah! Speaking as someone who has been in and out of a relationship with an ESTJ for the past few years, I want to say that it is a truly beautiful, incredible thing when it works. And when it doesn't work, it's ugly, very ugly. Of course I can't speak for everyone, but this has been the case for me (an INFP female w/ an ESTJ male)

    Where does conflict arise?
    The ESTJ says what he means and means what he says, and expects others to do the same. The INFP has so many things going on in their head and they find it very difficult to express themselves. The INFP is always looking for what's "underneath" what is said. The ESTJ in turn does not understand the INFP does NOT always say what they mean and can take things at dangerously at face value.

    But my gosh, when it works it's beautiful and passionate and intense and yes, people are jealous. There is so much to learn between opposite types and both people are often stretched and taken out of their comfort zones and the growth and love is obvious to everyone. There's never a dull moment.

    UDog I'd be very interested in what you have to say about this!!

  9. #9
    Senior Member lecky's Avatar
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    Oh, I was in a relationship with an ESTJ once and it was horrible. He has a very strong J and was very critical of my P'ness, this just crushed my poor INFP feelings. We also never had anything to talk about and our relationship was just based on sexual attraction. Knowing all this I was still devastated when it ended...he moved on pretty quick too!

    I think they are better off as friends...but then again he was a really young ESTJ, who knows what he's like now.

  10. #10
    resonance entropie's Avatar
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    estj and infj, yes.

    infp I dont understand
    [URL]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tEBvftJUwDw&t=0s[/URL]

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