User Tag List

First 1234 Last

Results 11 to 20 of 52

  1. #11
    RDF
    Guest

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Jennifer View Post
    I don't know. I just wish I could understand it better.
    I'll take a stab at this. I have a picture in my head of how it works, and I'll try to make it intelligible for others.

    I'm just presenting a model, and I'm not saying it's perfect. My model allows me to integrate a bunch of disparate elements and see them working together as a cohesive whole. But take it with a grain of salt. It's just me playing around with some ideas. Someone else could present another model or improve on my model.

    (The following is a long post. If you don't want to read the entire thing, you can skip down to the second set of asterisks and read the summing up. That'll give you the gist.)

    *****************

    Traditional Freudian psychology says that as children we all undergo individuation (splitting off from our parents and developing our own identity), and subsequently we seek ways to influence our environment in order to achieve our own desires. Since our parents are the main ones able to deliver us what we want, this process largely comes down to a contract we develop with our primary caretaker. The child effectively says to the parent, "I will behave in X manner, and you will be amused/impressed/grateful enough to provide me what I want in return (usually love and approbation)."

    Again, Freudian theory says that having found the behavior X to be a successful way of getting what we want, we tend to perfect it and use it as our main way of dealing with people right up into adulthood. From this, you get the Freudian truism that in our adult relationships we are just playing out the conflicts and dynamics that we developed as children with our parents. You also get the truism that dysfunctional relationship dynamics (a flawed or unhealthy X behavior) have their roots in the childhood environment. For example, traditional psychology tends to hold that personality disorders originate with a dysfunctional environment and dynamics in childhood.

    That's all pretty standard stuff, and none of it necessarily conflicts with traditional Jungian MBTI theory. It just raises the assumption that to some extent we "chose" our personality type functions because they worked or were favored in the our relationship with caregivers and our general childhood environment. (and/or were a best match with our natural talents).

    Thus one might look at the 16 MBTI behaviors/beliefs/value systems as 16 different contracts with the world: "I will provide product/behavior X, and you will respect and love me."

    Of course, depending on the personality type, "providing product/behavior X" can mean a lot of different things: "I will entertain you by being funny;" "I will protect you from disorder by providing you with a clean and organized household"; "I will fascinate you with my technical/mechanical/athletic/intellectual/oratorical prowess"; "I will give you pleasure by servicing your physical needs"; "I will protect you from fear and doubt by being super-competent and always having solutions to all your problems;" and so on.

    A couple themes keep popping up, for example offers of protection, offers of entertainment, etc. These reflect the deals we made with our parents and the things that earned us the greatest rewards in childhood (and/or were a best match with our natural talents).

    In addition, a couple other sub-themes pop up. For example, some behavior or products are interactive and hands-on: I will provide a certain environment or certain services for you (I will be a good homemaker, I will service your needs, I will protect you from dangers and fears). Others are more solipsist and mostly concern display and entertainment: I will fish around inside of me, pull something out of my butt, and attract your attention: I will amuse you, I will provide art for you, I will create weighty thoughts for you. The athlete, artist, comedian, philosopher, and moralist fall into the latter category. Obviously the INFP idealist falls into this category as well.

    The athlete, artist, comedian, philosopher, and moralist detach themselves from the audience, create distance between themselves and the audience by climbing up on a stage, and they say to the audience, "Watch me, I will entertain you!" (Let's call these people "actors," since that's really what they are.) Again, it's the reenactment of the old childhood contract with the parent: "I will behave in X manner, and you will be amused/impressed/grateful enough to provide me what I want in return (usually love and approbation)."

    If the entertainment is successful, the audience will applaud and approve the entertainment, and the contract will be successful for the actor. If the entertainment is a failure, the audience will boo, the actor will tell himself that the audience doesn't recognize true art, and either he will work on his act to improve it or he will refuse to have anything to do with the audience again. In the latter case, he'll insist that he loves the art and the stage and the audience, but he'll refuse to have anything to do with any of them because the audience isn't good enough for him.

    The degree of one's solipsism affects the chances of one's success. Good actors avoid the trap of solipsism; they pay attention to their audience, interact with it, figure out what the audience wants to see, and improve their act to better deliver what the audience wants. These are your successful athletes, artists, comedians, philosophers, and moralists. They honor the old saying: "Know your audience."

    Bad actors, on the other hand, are often too solipsist to really pay attention to the audience. They see themselves as the center of the world; the audience is only an indiscriminate mass beyond the footlights. Solipsist actors care only about what's inside them and what they themselves are feeling; it doesn't matter what the audience wants. In the heat of performance, the solipsist actor may be so focused on being true to himself that he barely registers the audience. He may see the audience as little more than a mirror in which he watches himself.

    And when the audience gets bored and registers its disapproval by booing, the negative feedback can be crushing to the solipsist actor. At the end of the performance, the solipsist actor still needs the audience's approval; after all, that's what this whole exercise is about. The audience may only be a mere mirror to the solipsist actor, but mirrors have the power to make us feel good or feel bad. If the audience reflects back a negative image of the actor, the actor may be too crushed to ever act again. He may break the mirror and reject the audience forever.

    I've mentioned in another thread that I see the INFP mindset as potentially highly solipsist. Many INFPs rummage around inside themselves (fantasy worlds, childhood memories) for emotional experiences. It can give them an inward, self-involved orientation.

    Furthermore, the occupation of moralist and idealist can be one of the most difficult and least rewarding. When an idealist gets on the stage and harangues the audience about how they don't measure up to his ideals, it's easy to lose the audience and get bad feedback.

    Effective idealists who interact successfully with an audience can, in fact, earn the highest praise and respect: They are accorded the title of "prophet" or "revolutionary". But that requires a high degree of skill and ability to interact with the audience. Most idealists are too solipsist and self-involved to interact effectively with the audience. They are usually pulling their morals from inside, and they forget to account for how the morals will be received by the audience.

    So the audience gets tired of being harangued and starts booing, and the idealist is chased from the stage. The idealist takes this negative experience as one more proof that the audience is unworthy of him (can't live up to his high ideals), and rather than learn from the experience about the need to interact successfully with the audience and fit his message to the audience, the disillusioned idealist goes off into the desert to play the role of "voice in the wilderness"; meantime, the audience turns its attention to the next actor on the stage.

    *******************

    To sum up:

    One's interactions with the world around them tend to follow (in some manner or other) the model of a childhood contract with the parent: "I will behave in X manner, and you will be amused/impressed/grateful enough to provide me what I want in return (usually love and approbation)."

    As they grow up, some people become increasingly solipsist. Their act (the behavior X) may become increasingly important to them. If their act becomes all-important to them and they cease interacting with their audience (their spouse, their workplace, the society around them) and/or they cease accepting corrective feedback needed to keep the audience engaged, then they may find themselves isolated and alone: A lone voice in the wilderness.

    INFPs tend to be solipsist by nature (seeking emotional experiences from inside) and also by calling (the message of the moralist and idealist comes from inside and is not an easy one to sell to an audience). A few INFPs manage to bridge the gap between their message and the audience and are acclaimed prophets and healers and revolutionaries. But most INFPs don't. And being too solipsist to learn from their experience, they end up rejecting their audience (their spouse, their workplace, the society around them) and find themselves alone.

    They break the mirror, reject the audience, and go off alone. They still insist that they love the audience (like everyone else, they still want to act out the childhood contract with the audience), but interactions with an immoral (unappreciative) audience are too painful.

    Of course, there is a simple solution. The audience need only approve the INFP. The approval may be insincere, but many INFPs are too solipsist and self-involved to notice the insincerity. And with time and patience, the INFP can be induced to pay more attention to the audience and incorporate feedback. And after all, the central message of this whole thread (at least my part of it) is accepting people as they are. The INFP deserves that acceptance too, as flawed as he may be.

    Also, some of you other types may want to consider how your "act" (the behavior X) may be separating you from your "audience" and isolating you.

    Again, take this message with a grain of salt. I'm just theorizing and playing around. Please note that there's a tongue-in-cheek (INFP hyperbole) element to this message, as always.

    Also, the post is overlong and could be condensed and made more effective with a rewrite. But the wife and I are headed out dancing, and I figure I'll send the post off as is. Remember the nature of INFPs: A little insincere approval from the audience is a good thing and a sign of acceptance of people as they are.

  2. #12
    RDF
    Guest

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by heart View Post
    If a friend will lie to his wife and family about an affair, he will someday lie too YOU.

    I would never trust this person again. I would always know when dealing with them what they proven to me themselves they were capable of.

    That's just common sense self protection and nothing there about pie in the sky idealism.
    I spent the better part of seven years in the Marine Corps living cheek-by-jowl in the barracks with some pretty shady characters. It was unrealistic to expect everyone to live up to my high ideals, and it was unrealistic to shun them and have nothing to do with them when they didn't act according to my ideals.

    In the end, I did what everyone else does. I adjusted. That is, you get a feel for the limits of their dishonesty and work up an "honor among thieves" code. The only guys who truly got shunned were lone wolf types who couldn't even be trusted to observe simple "honor among thieves" codes. And that was largely determined by consensus of the barracks as a whole rather than by me personally.

    That's how things tend to get worked out in a communal environment. I'm not saying it's the only model or the right one. I'm just saying that the response to dishonesty depends on the circumstances. By contrast, idealism sometimes tends to say that "One solution fits all." But in real life, solutions tend to be relative and depend on the circumstances.

    Just my own opinion, of course, FWIW.

  3. #13

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by heart View Post
    If a friend will lie to his wife and family about an affair, he will someday lie too YOU.

    I would never trust this person again. I would always know when dealing with them what they proven to me themselves they were capable of.

    That's just common sense self protection and nothing there about pie in the sky idealism.
    I disagree with you there. Things are not so black and white. You have to see situations and people inside a context, when you do that, you'll see there's a gray area that you are probably missing. We are humans and humans have contradictory feelings and actions. I'm not talking about naively trusting people that prove to be deceitful time and time again, but simply cutting someone off because of one thing wrong that they did, without trying to understand their point the view and the situation, seems a bit too harsh.

  4. #14
    Mamma said knock you out Mempy's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2007
    Posts
    2,226

    Default

    quote FineLine's post
    Jesus, that was a long post. It was good though, it was well written.

    I agree, overall. Except with me, when I'm feeling insecure I'm usually too insecure to do without people's approval, so I keep trying. I tend to reach out, not withdraw or cut off. But I haven't lived very long either.

    If a friend will lie to his wife and family about an affair, he will someday lie too YOU.
    Jennifer said that he did lie to her, but that doesn't mean he'd ever hurt her. It doesn't mean he's dangerous. So he lied. Maybe he was just ashamed of his affair, or confused, or maybe he's just really private about his relationships. For all you know he could be the most awesome friend typically: fun, funny, kind, receptive, etc.

    Flaws can be pretty big, but everybody's got them, including me. If I have a lot of fun with someone and they don't cause me significant harm, even if they have flaws that are pretty big, as long as we enjoy each other I'll keep them.

    The only deciding factor in who I keep as a friend is how much fun I have with them. If they're obviously lying to me all the time or ditching me every chance they get, they're not fun. But if someone lied directly to me for being in an affair, I could forgive that. That's not a big deal to me. Now if they were my best friend or close I'd wonder why, but I don't think I'd mind.

  5. #15
    @.~*virinaĉo*~.@ Totenkindly's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    MBTI
    FREE
    Enneagram
    594 sx/sp
    Socionics
    LII Ne
    Posts
    42,333

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by heart View Post
    If a friend will lie to his wife and family about an affair, he will someday lie to YOU. I would never trust this person again. I would always know when dealing with them what they proven to me themselves they were capable of. That's just common sense self protection and nothing there about pie in the sky idealism.
    But he was such a BAD liar.

    And I specifically told my friend and others (including the spouse) that this person was lying. (I wasn't mean or inappropriate in the time and manner in which I said it -- I just intuitively thought that the odds were extremely good that this person was lying).

    This person also had been highly unstable, was probably a borderline personality, had been abused as a child, has numerous half-brothers and sisters (I would go on, but my point is that their childhood was VERY messed up by any standards)... and yet my idealist friend insisted on holding him to this very high standard that he was warned was probably not accurate... and then cut off all communication for 2+ years with this person, even when the person tried to open the door again, because the person basically did what it was obvious he was going to do.

    And it was just odd, because my friend is so gracious I feel callous next to him... but I was willing to deal with this person as they were, while he just had standards that were unrealistic for this person.

    So that is why I chalk it up as idealism; this person lied to me as well, but I knew his situation and trusted my instincts and so I could offer some grace. My friend's expectations were far too idealistic for this individual. And I have seen the idealism play out elsewhere with him as well; he often mistakes people's impersonal humanity/failed nature for personal betrayal.

    Quote Originally Posted by Mempy View Post
    Jennifer said that he did lie to her, but that doesn't mean he'd ever hurt her. It doesn't mean he's dangerous. So he lied. Maybe he was just ashamed of his affair, or confused, or maybe he's just really private about his relationships. For all you know he could be the most awesome friend typically: fun, funny, kind, receptive, etc.
    This person was a very self-indulgent, self-centered ESFP type. At the core of his being was just a fear of rejection, and a fear of not being good enough. He didn't actually want to hurt people, he was just selfish and driven by his desires which he thought could not be met in other ways. (That is not an excuse for his irresponsibility; but as you mention, it differentiates him from a sociopath or antisocial personality who intends to be cruel. This person was just like a frightened 8-year-old in an adult's body.)
    "Hey Capa -- We're only stardust." ~ "Sunshine"

    “Pleasure to me is wonder—the unexplored, the unexpected, the thing that is hidden and the changeless thing that lurks behind superficial mutability. To trace the remote in the immediate; the eternal in the ephemeral; the past in the present; the infinite in the finite; these are to me the springs of delight and beauty.” ~ H.P. Lovecraft

  6. #16
    heart on fire
    Join Date
    May 2007
    Posts
    8,457

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Capitu View Post
    I disagree with you there. Things are not so black and white. You have to see situations and people inside a context, when you do that, you'll see there's a gray area that you are probably missing. We are humans and humans have contradictory feelings and actions. I'm not talking about naively trusting people that prove to be deceitful time and time again, but simply cutting someone off because of one thing wrong that they did, without trying to understand their point the view and the situation, seems a bit too harsh.

    Breaking the marriage vow and lying about it is one of the bigger lies that people tell in life. It is no white lie. When people get married, they vow with everything dear to them in their lives, their very souls, that they will be honest and faithful with this person and they can't keep that promise? Why as a friend to whom no such vows were exchanged should I doubt that they could do lie to me or hurt me if it became necessary to fit some whim or desire they had?

    It is a clue as to how they solve their conflicts when life gets hard. Cheating and shopping the meat market while your spouse sits at home thinking everything is OK is a pretty low thing to do. There is no reason why an adult person cannot try marriage counseling and then if that does not work or the spouse does not agree to go, then seperation and letting the spouse know that you will now be entering the dating world is upfront way to handle an unsatisfying marriage relationship. It is just not fair to the other party to do otherwise.

    It would indeed depend on the situation, but what I am saying is I would never be able to trust that person completely. They would have a lot of proving themselves back to me, but then again maybe they don't care either and that is fine too. No one is forced to be a friend of anyone in this world and those who want to lie and cheat and hurt others with impunity will find many people willing to befriend them.

    Quote Originally Posted by FineLine View Post
    I spent the better part of seven years in the Marine Corps living cheek-by-jowl in the barracks with some pretty shady characters. It was unrealistic to expect everyone to live up to my high ideals, and it was unrealistic to shun them and have nothing to do with them when they didn't act according to my ideals.
    That's a working type of relationship, not a intimate, pick your friends kind of relationship. It is not the same thing.

  7. #17
    heart on fire
    Join Date
    May 2007
    Posts
    8,457

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Jennifer View Post
    But he was such a BAD liar.

    And I specifically told my friend and others (including the spouse) that this person was lying. (I wasn't mean or inappropriate in the time and manner in which I said it -- I just intuitively thought that the odds were extremely good that this person was lying).

    This person also had been highly unstable, was probably a borderline personality, had been abused as a child, has numerous half-brothers and sisters (I would go on, but my point is that their childhood was VERY messed up by any standards)... and yet my idealist friend insisted on holding him to this very high standard that he was warned was probably not accurate... and then cut off all communication for 2+ years with this person, even when the person tried to open the door again, because the person basically did what it was obvious he was going to do.

    I am not saying that I would necessarily drop a friend for this, but I would never look at them the same again. Many people have been abused as children but not all of them take that pain into their adult lives and create hurt and pain for others.

    ETA. Is it possible that there is more to what went on between your friend and the man who lied/cheated than you know? I have a troubled relationship with a family member and I have broken contact because I just cannot take the pain and chaos this person creates. My family as a whole doesn't understand because things happened between us that I don't want to tell them about.

    For one thing, the family member BEGGED me not to tell them and I did promise that I would not and for other thing, these things would definately prejudice some family members against this person and I don't want to ruin their relationship with this person. This person has enough on their plate without everyone being alienated from them.

    Is it all possible that you don't know all the facts between the INFP and the friend?

  8. #18
    heart on fire
    Join Date
    May 2007
    Posts
    8,457

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Mempy View Post

    Flaws can be pretty big, but everybody's got them, including me. If I have a lot of fun with someone and they don't cause me significant harm, even if they have flaws that are pretty big, as long as we enjoy each other I'll keep them.

    To my way of thinking, there are flaws and then there are deal killers in friends. It all depends on what a person wants to bring into their lives.

  9. #19
    heart on fire
    Join Date
    May 2007
    Posts
    8,457

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by FineLine View Post
    *****************

    Others are more solipsist and mostly concern display and entertainment: I will fish around inside of me, pull something out of my butt, and attract your attention: I will amuse you, I will provide art for you, I will create weighty thoughts for you. The athlete, artist, comedian, philosopher, and moralist fall into the latter category. Obviously the INFP idealist falls into this category as well.

    The athlete, artist, comedian, philosopher, and moralist detach themselves from the audience, create distance between themselves and the audience by climbing up on a stage, and they say to the audience, "Watch me, I will entertain you!" (Let's call these people "actors," since that's really what they are.) Again, it's the reenactment of the old childhood contract with the parent: "I will behave in X manner, and you will be amused/impressed/grateful enough to provide me what I want in return (usually love and approbation)."

    If the entertainment is successful, the audience will applaud and approve the entertainment, and the contract will be successful for the actor. If the entertainment is a failure, the audience will boo, the actor will tell himself that the audience doesn't recognize true art, and either he will work on his act to improve it or he will refuse to have anything to do with the audience again. In the latter case, he'll insist that he loves the art and the stage and the audience, but he'll refuse to have anything to do with any of them because the audience isn't good enough for him.

    The degree of one's solipsism affects the chances of one's success. Good actors avoid the trap of solipsism; they pay attention to their audience, interact with it, figure out what the audience wants to see, and improve their act to better deliver what the audience wants. These are your successful athletes, artists, comedians, philosophers, and moralists. They honor the old saying: "Know your audience."

    Bad actors, on the other hand, are often too solipsist to really pay attention to the audience. They see themselves as the center of the world; the audience is only an indiscriminate mass beyond the footlights. Solipsist actors care only about what's inside them and what they themselves are feeling; it doesn't matter what the audience wants. In the heat of performance, the solipsist actor may be so focused on being true to himself that he barely registers the audience. He may see the audience as little more than a mirror in which he watches himself.

    And when the audience gets bored and registers its disapproval by booing, the negative feedback can be crushing to the solipsist actor. At the end of the performance, the solipsist actor still needs the audience's approval; after all, that's what this whole exercise is about. The audience may only be a mere mirror to the solipsist actor, but mirrors have the power to make us feel good or feel bad. If the audience reflects back a negative image of the actor, the actor may be too crushed to ever act again. He may break the mirror and reject the audience forever.

    I've mentioned in another thread that I see the INFP mindset as potentially highly solipsist. Many INFPs rummage around inside themselves (fantasy worlds, childhood memories) for emotional experiences. It can give them an inward, self-involved orientation.

    Furthermore, the occupation of moralist and idealist can be one of the most difficult and least rewarding. When an idealist gets on the stage and harangues the audience about how they don't measure up to his ideals, it's easy to lose the audience and get bad feedback.

    Effective idealists who interact successfully with an audience can, in fact, earn the highest praise and respect: They are accorded the title of "prophet" or "revolutionary". But that requires a high degree of skill and ability to interact with the audience. Most idealists are too solipsist and self-involved to interact effectively with the audience. They are usually pulling their morals from inside, and they forget to account for how the morals will be received by the audience.

    So the audience gets tired of being harangued and starts booing, and the idealist is chased from the stage. The idealist takes this negative experience as one more proof that the audience is unworthy of him (can't live up to his high ideals), and rather than learn from the experience about the need to interact successfully with the audience and fit his message to the audience, the disillusioned idealist goes off into the desert to play the role of "voice in the wilderness"; meantime, the audience turns its attention to the next actor on the stage.

    *******************

    To sum up:

    One's interactions with the world around them tend to follow (in some manner or other) the model of a childhood contract with the parent: "I will behave in X manner, and you will be amused/impressed/grateful enough to provide me what I want in return (usually love and approbation)."

    As they grow up, some people become increasingly solipsist. Their act (the behavior X) may become increasingly important to them. If their act becomes all-important to them and they cease interacting with their audience (their spouse, their workplace, the society around them) and/or they cease accepting corrective feedback needed to keep the audience engaged, then they may find themselves isolated and alone: A lone voice in the wilderness.

    INFPs tend to be solipsist by nature (seeking emotional experiences from inside) and also by calling (the message of the moralist and idealist comes from inside and is not an easy one to sell to an audience). A few INFPs manage to bridge the gap between their message and the audience and are acclaimed prophets and healers and revolutionaries. But most INFPs don't. And being too solipsist to learn from their experience, they end up rejecting their audience (their spouse, their workplace, the society around them) and find themselves alone.

    They break the mirror, reject the audience, and go off alone. They still insist that they love the audience (like everyone else, they still want to act out the childhood contract with the audience), but interactions with an immoral (unappreciative) audience are too painful.

    Of course, there is a simple solution. The audience need only approve the INFP. The approval may be insincere, but many INFPs are too solipsist and self-involved to notice the insincerity. And with time and patience, the INFP can be induced to pay more attention to the audience and incorporate feedback. And after all, the central message of this whole thread (at least my part of it) is accepting people as they are. The INFP deserves that acceptance too, as flawed as he may be.

    Also, some of you other types may want to consider how your "act" (the behavior X) may be separating you from your "audience" and isolating you.

    Again, take this message with a grain of salt. I'm just theorizing and playing around. Please note that there's a tongue-in-cheek (INFP hyperbole) element to this message, as always.

    Also, the post is overlong and could be condensed and made more effective with a rewrite. But the wife and I are headed out dancing, and I figure I'll send the post off as is. Remember the nature of INFPs: A little insincere approval from the audience is a good thing and a sign of acceptance of people as they are.
    Speaking just for myself, I don't care what the "audience" thinks of my beliefs and ideas. My ideas are for myself, as goals for myself to strive for. If people don't cheer their approval for me, that's fine. If people are turned off to me and don't want to be by buddy, that's fine too.

    I really don't care if I am "pleasing" others with my viewpoints. That's not my goal in life. Flattery in fact is something that can knock a person off their balance in trying to find the only thing that really matters, their own voice of conscience.

    I don't consider the way the topic slid as an example so much of ideals, but instead an example of the ways that a person may chose to protect themselves against others whose actions may not always be trustworthy. The OP mentioned people who had hurt her in her life. I assume that this was signifigant and long lasting patterns in people because she doesn't strike me as the sort who just flakes on people, from the things she says.

    I don't think we're required to solve the problems of those who hurt us by allowing ourselves to be their whipping child over and over. I think a person can be free to say enough is enough and move on at some point without having it shoved back at them as some "proof" that they aren't allowed their own ideals about life or that they are hypocrties.

    A healthy self interst is vital to living a truth in life. We're brainwashed in this society that we cannot be self protective or selfish in healthy ways. It is all hogwash.
    Last edited by heart; 09-02-2007 at 11:16 PM. Reason: softening the Te

  10. #20
    Tenured roisterer SolitaryWalker's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    MBTI
    INTP
    Enneagram
    5w6 so/sx
    Posts
    3,467

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by heart View Post
    Speaking just for myself, I don't give a flying F what the "audience" thinks of my beliefs and ideas, include yourself in that category. My ideas are for myself, as goals for myself to strive for. If people don't cheer their approval for me, that's fine. If people are turned off to me and don't want to be by buddy, that's fine too..

    Yes! That is the beauty of Introverted Judgment.
    Quote Originally Posted by heart View Post
    I really don't care if I am "pleasing" others with my viewpoints. That's not my goal in life. Flattery in fact is something that can knock a person off their balance in trying to find the only thing that really matters, their own voice of conscience.
    Indeed, external standards are pernicious in a way that they are likely to derail us from our inner quest. And only through the latter could our existence be fulfilled, only after inner peace has been achieved.
    "Do not argue with an idiot. They drag you down to their level and beat you with experience." -- Mark Twain

    “No man but a blockhead ever wrote, except for money.”---Samuel Johnson

    My blog: www.randommeanderings123.blogspot.com/

Similar Threads

  1. Am I an INFP or am I just a suppressed version of another type?
    By flameskull95 in forum What's my Type?
    Replies: 15
    Last Post: 10-24-2012, 03:58 PM
  2. [INFP] An INFP Dilemma of Sorts
    By Anew Leaf in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 9
    Last Post: 08-03-2012, 04:02 PM
  3. [INFP] If you give an INFP a drink (or a few drinks)...
    By Onceajoan in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 31
    Last Post: 12-17-2010, 09:46 AM
  4. [INFP] Just how dangerous is an INFP scorned?
    By Liquid Swordz in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 81
    Last Post: 11-05-2009, 12:17 PM
  5. Hello from an ISFP or an INFP!
    By jsarah in forum Welcomes and Introductions
    Replies: 14
    Last Post: 11-03-2007, 12:08 AM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
Single Sign On provided by vBSSO