User Tag List

123 Last

Results 1 to 10 of 36

  1. #1
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Posts
    233

    Default ENFJ in relationships

    What does an ENFJ want/need in a romantic relationship? What do they look for in a partner?

  2. #2
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Feb 2009
    Posts
    1,128

    Default

    My ENFJ ex claimed he didn't want relationships but hopelessly pined after the girls he loved. It was like he couldn't help himself -- he fell in love and then that person sucked him in, he HAD to connect with them and be with them.

    He felt he found his cosmic soulmate every time he fell in love.

    He wanted someone emotional, deep, intelligent, confident, perceptive, beautiful, interesting and stylish. Often what he got was not what he initially thought, and this would upset him greatly (causing him to become extremely critical and emotionally manipulative in trying to mold his love back to his failed ideal).

  3. #3
    Senior Member chris1207's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2008
    MBTI
    ENFJ
    Enneagram
    3w2
    Posts
    468

    Default

    ^ exactly the first few months are really exciting and then I find out that they aren't everything I ever wanted them to be and I end it. I think that ENFJ's just want to be close to people and know them on a level that no one else does and we're really good at getting there. Then when we see that someone isn't ideal or that they have their own closet-monsters we back off and find ourselves wanting to not be so personal. Unfortunately, once we do this there's really no going back. Other types become very attached and can't bear the scrutiny after letting us so deep. Then break-up and never talking ever again.

    As far as what I look for initially, I prefer my women to not be overly confrontational or rude. I'm inviting her into my world and if she fucks with it there'll be problems. Other than that we just kind of feel our way around. How does this girl make me feel? Are she like a cold beer at the end of a hard day? If so, then chances are that this'll probably work.

    Basically, I think we gotta find a partner that will distract us with other amazing things about their lives so that we don't take the relationships too seriously or want to go too fast.
    "... you think deeply about stuff [that] nobody cares about and hardly anybody can understand you." ~ Peguy talking about Ni users. So true.

  4. #4
    I am Sofa King!!! kendoiwan's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2008
    MBTI
    IsTP
    Posts
    1,334

    Default

    Are they always fearful and clingy?
    http://www.typologycentral.com/forum...ml#post1161526

    "They the type of cats who pollute the whole shoreline. Have it purified. Sell it for a $1.25"

  5. #5
    WTF is this dude saying? A Schnitzel's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2008
    MBTI
    INTP
    Socionics
    B.S.
    Posts
    1,155

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by kendoiwan View Post
    Are they always fearful and clingy?
    Pretty much.
    Quote Originally Posted by prplchknz View Post
    sheesh humans! for realz

  6. #6
    Senior Member chris1207's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2008
    MBTI
    ENFJ
    Enneagram
    3w2
    Posts
    468

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by kendoiwan View Post
    Are they always fearful and clingy?
    Fearful yes, clingy no. As stated above I cut ties when I pick up that my woman is somehow suboptimal. (To put it in NT terms)
    "... you think deeply about stuff [that] nobody cares about and hardly anybody can understand you." ~ Peguy talking about Ni users. So true.

  7. #7
    Senior Member SpottingTrains's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2009
    MBTI
    ENFJ
    Enneagram
    3w2
    Socionics
    EIE
    Posts
    446

    Default

    I'm going to agree with Chris, though I will say the part about 'closet-monsters' I am not too sure about. I would like to think that I am willing to accept both the good parts and the bad parts of a person.

  8. #8
    The Black Knight Domino's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2007
    MBTI
    eNFJ
    Enneagram
    4w3 sx/so
    Socionics
    eNFJ Ni
    Posts
    11,443

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by A Schnitzel View Post
    Pretty much.
    You think that about us? Really?



    I seek what everyone else seeks - the prime connection. The effortless click into place.
    eNFJ 4w3 sx/so 468 tritype
    Neutral Good
    EII-Fi subtype, Ethical/Empath, Delta/Beta
    RLUEI, Choleric/Melancholic
    Inquistive/Limbic
    AIS Holland code
    Researcher: VDI-P
    Dramatic>Sensitive>Serious

  9. #9
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Feb 2009
    Posts
    1,128

    Default

    My ENFJ ex was not clingy. He was fearful SOMETIMES. He really had/has tons to offer and was very loving, but I could see when I disappointed him and that's what ultimately destroyed our relationship, in my opinion. Because I never try to change people, and I don't think he could help himself trying to change me (which is kind of offensive to me at a deeper level, being ISFP). I was way too Sensory for him; I didn't provide the N depth he craved. I think he had a great relationship with an INFP though... because they had that cosmic connection. Her problem was getting crumbs in the bed and weird little things like that which bugged the crap out of him.

    Ultimately, he's still searching, which to me is sad, because he deserves someone amazing. When we broke up he proposed marriage (after avoiding serious commitment for four years together before that), but it was too late. I do hope someday he can find someone and learn to accept flaws in a partner, because we all have them.

  10. #10
    Revelation Lauren Ashley's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2008
    MBTI
    INFJ
    Enneagram
    4 sx/sp
    Socionics
    EII
    Posts
    3,067

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by maliafee View Post
    He wanted someone emotional, deep, intelligent, confident, perceptive, beautiful, interesting and stylish.
    This describes my ENFJ ex's requirements for a partner as well. He wasn't very bossy, but a bit critical. He also wanted to know the person inside and out, and become "one" with them. I wouldn't say he was clingy (although I'm also NFJ, so take that as you will), until the end. It was a great relationship. Very intense

Similar Threads

  1. [ENFJ] ENFJs in fictional works
    By MacGuffin in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 268
    Last Post: 09-25-2015, 04:41 PM
  2. [ENFJ] Any ENFJs in relationship with ISFPs ? Share !
    By DoggyGirl in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 9
    Last Post: 06-21-2011, 12:16 AM
  3. [ENFJ] ENFJ's in Relationships
    By ReflecTcelfeR in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 37
    Last Post: 02-13-2011, 04:19 PM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
Single Sign On provided by vBSSO