She was probably trying to open up to you, not close you out or try to limit you. She was probably trying to explain a very complicated (very emotional and irrational) dislike for her ex that manifested itself in your smoking.oh my gawd
So me and this ENFJ hook up, really really fast.
Then later, she doesn't like the fact that I smoke. She would kind of joke about it, but say that was one of the major reasons that she broke up with her ex-fiance.
Now she won't answer my calls. And its pretty much because she wants me to quit smoking.
But it pisses me off that she uses this approach, she's not doing it bc she cares about me, but because she is remembering what happened with her ex.
Im not going to live in the toilet bowl of an ex-bf. Fukk that!
I also think there must have been other similarities that she may not have been able to pin down (between you and her ex). At any rate, in a situation like this the important thing to do is to confront your ENFJ emotionally and try to resolve the problem. Make your worries heard and hear theirs; they will respect and trust you more if you do this. And then you might get a more clear reason for why whatever you are doing is upsetting them so much. For example there may have been something (even further back than the ex fiance) like a grandparent that died of lung cancer or anything. ENFJs often reserve very traumatic incidents like this until they know that they can really really trust someone.