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[ENFP] ENFPs/ENTPs and commitments

ergophobe

Allergic to Mornings
Joined
Apr 26, 2009
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New to the MBTI world, it's been a fascinating journey so far. I'm curious about the stereotypical view of us NPs -- curious, smart but weak follow through. I've suffered from this in some areas of my life more than others. I wonder what your own records have been -- ENFPs and ENTPs in particular with work and personal commitments.

What areas have you had weak follow through in? Where have you had less trouble committing and doing the grunt work to achieve success? What has helped with improving follow through? Is it different techniques for different areas?

Still trying to figure out why there has been success in some areas and not others...
 

Rachelinpa

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Aug 4, 2008
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878
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ENFP
Personal commitments like attending events and stuff my friends put together is rough for me... I usually hold off till the last second because it's hard to know how I will be feeling at that moment or what if something more fun comes along last minute? I try to follow through once the actual commitment takes place, but I wait until it's absolutely necessary. What helps with follow through is my inner desire to have a reputation as someone who is reliable. I don't like being seen as a flake.
 

EcK

The Memes Justify the End
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Hard question.
I think the very weak commitment i have to pretty much everything make my few commitment that much more important and meaningful.

Because I need to justify things, and most of what I do\have to do\ are expected to do are just social rituals that don't have any form of "absolute" meaning if even make any sense in hell.
 

kyuuei

Emperor/Dictator
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I tend to not committ myself if I don't think I'll follow through. I have a bit of trouble being late to things or guessing timelines, but if I confirm something, I won't cancel unless something truly stops me from going.

I don't think I've been been too scared of committment, unless you pull out the M word.
 

EcK

The Memes Justify the End
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I don't think I've been been too scared of committment, unless you pull out the M word.

motherf.. no
malabar? Man-on-man-action ?

minotaurus?

hint? :cheese:
 

kyuuei

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^ :rofl1: I'll give you a hint. It is the opposite of man-on-man action. :yes:
 

EcK

The Memes Justify the End
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Milf ? is it milf ?


oh shit, you were talking about marriage.

man, that's unfair, Who'd ever think about that word!
 

substitute

New member
Joined
May 27, 2007
Messages
4,601
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I'm wary of making commitments that I might not be able to fulfill, so I don't make them if put on the spot. I'll say a provisional "yes" and let you know later when I've had a chance to look at my diary, I'll give you a more definite answer, and once I've given it I'll stick to it.

I will easily reschedule though, if it turns out to be a better idea for all concerned - if asked to I don't mind (and secretly welcome the upheaval lol), and I'll initiate a rescheduling if it's obvious that people are clinging to the prior arrangement purely for the sake of avoiding change.

I'm almost never late for anything unless something out of my control happens like freak traffic conditions or family illness, etc. and just because I prefer not to get up early in the morning doesn't mean I can't do it if I have to. But I don't really mind when other people are late - I've a friend that I regularly do lunch with and he's been at least 15 minutes late every single time for the last 8 years, and I just find it amusing, though I know a lot of people who tell me they'd have told him to go to hell by the third time he did it.

This isn't my first nature - I've learned to be more dependable because of the big stigma and assumptions about my character (uncharitable and untrue ones) that were often made, quite hurtfully, back in my teens and early 20's, I guess I set myself the task of proving everyone wrong to myself, and then to them. I sorta see these things as a challenge, first to commit and secondly to follow through. I developed a sorta code of honor to hold myself to, so I can't easily worm out of things with intellectual justifications. But also raising kids on my own gave me the kick up the arse too that I needed, cos there's no way I could let them down or break promises to them, not when I grew up with my mom doing that to me all the time and knowing how much it hurts. Also cos their schedules were more rigid when they were in school, I had to arrange mine around theirs and so everyone that wanted to deal with me had to arrange around my schedule, even though by nature, I don't like schedules.

I don't keep a diary for any more than two months in advance. I just won't commit to anything that far in advance, unless it's something you have to pay up front for like a holiday or getting tickets for a show that sells out quickly, etc. If I've got too many things on the calendar for too far ahead, I feel completely choked and imprisoned by it all, and like I can't just live my life until they're over with.
 

Sentura

Phoenix Incarnate
Joined
Apr 23, 2009
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as long as it's interesting, i am 100% committed. this is why i choose to do only things i am interested in. they're not just my hobby or work, they're my life.
 

sculpting

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I have to use feeling to keep me motivated. Once I stop caring about something, or stop having an emotional investment, I can easily quit.

For instance in my current job, I finish stuff, but I do it because I care much for my customers and deeply for many of my coworkers. If I dont complete my tasks (and protect them from the rest of my nutcase department) then they will suffer and my customers suffer.

In grad school, after four years, I stopped caring, I quit. Quitting was SO fun!

Before that I was single mom in undergrad/grad school. My source of commitment there was in providing a secure financial future for my son and making sure I would never have to rely upon a husband. Some feeling there to keep me going but also first hand knowledge of what a lack of financial security can mean for a single mom and kid. Had to keep plowing forward even if not always enthralled.
 

ergophobe

Allergic to Mornings
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I have to use feeling to keep me motivated. Once I stop caring about something, or stop having an emotional investment, I can easily quit.

This holds true for me as well. I'm good at keeping my commitment where I am invested in the people involved - students for me or colleagues I write with. While I enjoy projects more that don't have deadlines, where I can just spend a lot of time reading and thinking about the subject, I could do that indefinitely and never get to the point of writing down what I have learned. Learning or working through the question seems to be its own reward. Not helpful in academia. I'd like to harness discipline better for my individual projects bringing them to fruition.
 

ConchShell

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Jun 25, 2008
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79
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Once I've agreed to do something for someone else, then it's one of my core inner values to complete that task. I feel guilty if I've made a commitment to someone that I can't keep. Maybe that's my high Fi showing. I'm not so rigid when it just concerns me though. I often neglect things on my 'to do' list or put things off.

I like Sentura's idea. I also tend to only go for things that I'm interested in as I'm more likely to commit that way. I really lose motivation for things I'm not interested in. I didn't realise this as much when much younger, but now I can really see it. This awareness can help me to identify when I should or shouldn't make a commitment to something.

My P is my lightest score though. I remember wondering as I filled out my MBTI questionnaire what the results would be. I felt as if I was almost contradicting myself by saying I am very organised with some things but couldn't care less about organisation with others. But hey presto! I was impressed with the very light P result that emerged. It felt like an accurate reflection of my P/J balance.
 

ergophobe

Allergic to Mornings
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These are wise suggestions -- being more discerning in the early stages would lead to better follow through overall. I learned something.

Practically, perhaps involving people would also help firm up commitments. On the other hand, I wish I could see commitments to myself as equally important and pressing as those made to others. I strive for that step in self-development.
 

Sentura

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I have to use feeling to keep me motivated. Once I stop caring about something, or stop having an emotional investment, I can easily quit.

isn't this what i said, just reworded? i guess nobody is reading the actual replies. but then again, i don't think i'm using Fi to keep me motivated, but the passion from P.
 

entropie

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loyality is a thing, which has caused many different interpretations about the entp. Feel free to go on, it wont change...

[YOUTUBE="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z4ShSf4Hn-0"]Wraith of the Lich King[/YOUTUBE]
 
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