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  1. #1
    Senior Member Jonathanthegreat's Avatar
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    Default ENFJ+ESTP as lovers= yes or no?

    Hi everyone, I just registered to this site and I am so happy to know that there is a community of people out here who actually appreciate the MBTI! Anyways I'd like to hear everyone's opinion about an ENFJ and an ESTP becoming lovers, like actual real love not sex. Right now myself and a female ESTP like each other and I'm just trying to decide if it's worth it in the long run. I love being around her and she is very sweet. What does everyone think?

  2. #2
    Once Was Synarch's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jonathanthegreat View Post
    Hi everyone, I just registered to this site and I am so happy to know that there is a community of people out here who actually appreciate the MBTI! Anyways I'd like to hear everyone's opinion about an ENFJ and an ESTP becoming lovers, like actual real love not sex. Right now myself and a female ESTP like each other and I'm just trying to decide if it's worth it in the long run. I love being around her and she is very sweet. What does everyone think?
    Dude, don't let random Internet strangers tell you what to do! (Go for it!)
    "Create like a god, command like a king, work like a slave."

  3. #3
    Senior Member Jonathanthegreat's Avatar
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    Haha I love you. I already am pursuing it I just always fear failure in the back of my mind.

  4. #4
    Senior Member alcea rosea's Avatar
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    Go for it! If you try it, then you'll know if it works.

  5. #5
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    I will give you a warning, in order to protect your sensitive self () -- ESTPs can destroy with a word, and I mean a word. If you get in an argument, you can not out-cut them, and if you try to attack them verbally, they will most certainly slice you in half. They are AWESOME, but you have to respect that ability (they are like snakes in that respect). Also, if you ask them what they're thinking/feeling all the time, it will get on their nerves. One last thing, if you get really emotional/cry, they sometimes have no idea what to do. Other than that, go for it!

  6. #6
    Riva
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    hey i think it would be a good match. but the issue is ESTPs have a way of saying things which is not very polite.

    they say it. and are in your face.

    i think an ENFJ could tolerate this. their F will tell them that they don't(ESTPs) mean anything bad. they have a way of seeing the best in others and understanding feelings of other people right? so they would know that the ESTP doesn't mean anything bad when they throw things in your face.

  7. #7
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    Quote Originally Posted by ravana View Post
    hey i think it would be a good match. but the issue is ESTPs have a way of saying things which is not very polite.

    they say it. and are in your face.

    i think an ENFJ could tolerate this. their F will tell them that they don't(ESTPs) mean anything bad. they have a way of seeing the best in others and understanding feelings of other people right? so they would know that the ESTP doesn't mean anything bad when they throw things in your face.
    In my experience, ENFJs take words very personally (hence my warning). If an ENFJ could expect the ESTP to sometimes be very sharp and hurtful without meaning to be, then the ENFJ might be able to slough it off like water off a duck's back. Otherwise, the ENFJ MIGHT feel attacked by this ESTP trait, and try to attack back. But as I said earlier, if they do this, if the ENFJ tries to attack BACK, that's when the ESTP will cut them to shreds with a few well placed words/phrases (or worse). So I recommend the ENFJ avoid this at all costs.

  8. #8
    Dali
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    Ok, what I read was dominant Fe + ESTP.

    What I thought was :eek:

  9. #9
    Senior Member chris1207's Avatar
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    All you have to is store up some really evil insults. ENFJ's are really good at this when the shit hits the fan. Of course, the warning there is that you will most definitely destroy that bridge. I've done it to intps before and they were flabbergasted by putdowns.

    That being said, I think estp's and enfj's make much better lovers than relationship partners. We're each other's wingman.
    "... you think deeply about stuff [that] nobody cares about and hardly anybody can understand you." ~ Peguy talking about Ni users. So true.

  10. #10
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    Quote Originally Posted by chris1207 View Post
    All you have to is store up some really evil insults. ENFJ's are really good at this when the shit hits the fan. Of course, the warning there is that you will most definitely destroy that bridge. I've done it to intps before and they were flabbergasted by putdowns.

    That being said, I think estp's and enfj's make much better lovers than relationship partners. We're each other's wingman.
    The problem is that when ESTPs are used to someone they will let lots of harsh things out, and if you're an ENFJ you will get massively defensive when an "attack" is perceived. For an ESTP that kinda thing happens all the time and isn't really personal. The ENFJ will make it personal. The ENFJ may have lots of good insults stored up, but the ESTP will always make the final cut, and the ESTP will NOT tolerate an emotional blowout time and again. Once the ENFJ gets emotional and angry the ESTP will be outta there.

    I continue to say this, because of the seriousness of ENFJ/ESTP rage (in different ways).

    Whoever is with an ESTP should be pretty unflappable. It's not that the ENFJ won't be able to to attack back, the ENFJ attacking back IS THE PROBLEM.

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