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  1. #31
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    Quote Originally Posted by proteanmix View Post
    The two ESTPs I've had problems with started off incredibly rocky and ended fine. I'm not sure what I did, but I felt this needling from them that I didn't like. First strategy is to avoid, which usually works most of the time. But I felt like they were seeking me out to start drama on purpose. Even the ESTP I work with at first would come to my cube and start talking to me and it would end in an disagreement of some kind. When I realized my chain was being yanked I wouldn't even turn around when she came by. When I worked in retail the other ESTP would seek me out when I tried to avoid them. On the days she and I worked together I asked to be put in another part of the store so not to interact with her but she'd still come over to me.

    So if you're saying they purposely seek people out to start drama with and get a response then I'd say whatever poo gets on them from the fall out is what they deserve. I certainly don't even try to restrain myself like that. I think I get what you're saying that for them it was always fun and games, but I guess I don't see it that way. I see it as their way of being in control of their environment and the people in it which if the need is strong enough is actually a weakness. I've never viewed ESTPs as being as easygoing as they're portrayed, I've always thought they were very sharp, perceptive, and dominant people.

    What I've found is that most people tend to cave into to them which creates less friction. And at this point I don't even know if it's about personality type. It seems to me that if you fall into their pack (probably stemming from tertiary Fe) you're cool and protected but if not, you're poked and prodded until some reason is found.

    Like I said when I snapped a few times at these ESTPs they both eventually settled down and left me alone. If it was all funnyhaha I suppose they would've continued for shits and giggles but they didn't. And the ESTP I work with now is actually surprisingly open with me about stuff which I would've never expected given how we started out.

    What I'm not liking about this thread is the idea that an ENFJ is basically powerless against an ESTP. It's just not true. This is nothing I think is good or am proud but I can crack people. It's a nasty trait I've noticed about myself. I can do it by sheer overwhelming emotional persistence or by taking something incredibly personal that you've revealed to me about yourself and bashing you over the head with it. Like I said I'm not proud of it, but I know I've done it when I've gotten really angry and am just lashing out and couldn't care less about the repercussions of my words. Some people know that being cool and unruffled is their strong point. That's not my strength and I'll never claim it to be.



    Yeah, maybe it's me, but I've never seen this be an ineffective tactic. And I'm not talking about crying and wailing and screaming as a tactic either.
    And the bolded is why you don't get along with us as much as you may (or may not?) like to

    Sorry, you're wrong, it IS fun and games for us.

    Oh and as for being able to overpower an ESTP sorry again, believe me, I've seen an ENFJ explode at me throwing everything they have and I'm not talking about crying either

    But what you're not understanding is that WE DON'T GIVE A SH*T

    For some reason the ENFJ I know thinks I'm trying to control her too, that I have some kind of agenda when I don't... its purely f**king comical.

    As for 'cracking' an ESTP? I think ThatGirl said it best (in another thread) "You never really do, even if you think you are."

    I've had ENFJs use things like

    "I wouldn't ordinary seek a person like you out as a friend"

    Hurtful? Yeah sure. A good attack? Sure why not... Useful against an ESTP? Hell no.

    "You're an arrogant manipulative pig"

    Usually said when they can't accept that we might actually be right, if this is said we generally just ignore it and go back to using logic and reason to paint a picture of our side of the story

    Point is these lines go in one ear out the other... they are personal emotional digs that won't phase an ESTP

    After an argument between these 2 types
    No one gave in or accepted the other persons point of view
    No body "won" per say
    The ESTP still doesn't care
    The ENFJ is pissy and feels like sh*t

    I'd rather still feel good, I'd consider that a win even if no-one caved in

    Oh and one last thing, we ARE the easy going type as portrayed... but I've given up trying to convince ENFJs of anything, if they want to believe we are controlling a-holes then fine, whatever.

    Even my friend ENFJ when he read into MBTI said my type "sounded like an a-hole" and I'm like... "what part?" and he just said about the parts where we don't take peoples feelings into account etc

    I replied that I'm objective and I don't see a problem with that

    Also just because you don't feel as much as somebody else doesn't mean you don't make good choices

    Eh

  2. #32
    Senior Member King sns's Avatar
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    I know a couple of this pair. (Male ESTP female ENFJ) and the pair is working great. The ENFJ grounds and refocuses the ESTP and the ESTP knows how to relax and have fun! The ENFJ is a very fun one, too, and so together they have enough in common to be a great pair, and at the same time can balance each other out.

    I'd say go for it (based on this experience)

  3. #33
    Senior Member SpottingTrains's Avatar
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    The trick with ESTPs is to not play their game. Simply comment on how whatever they just said as interesting or unique and ask for their opinion on it. I always keep a smile on my face as well :> When you appear interested in what they have to say I think it throws them a bit off balance.

    Patronizing? Most likely...but I find it effective nonetheless.

    Of course I only do this when I know the ESTP is trying to test my limits or is just a general shit disturber.

  4. #34
    The Black Knight Domino's Avatar
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    It was full-on battle between me and an ESTP in authority. I never underestimate them. It would be a mistake. Luckily, my intelligence and quick thinking got me through at the right moment (with an exhausting show of tenacity), and after that, he and I had a very close relationship. He would ask me my opinion on all sorts of things, and tell me what a clever girl I was. I knew that was a big deal because generally, he thought people were idiots. He didn't bother himself with them. If he was ever in a mood, I was the one sent into the lion's den because everyone knew he wouldn't yell at me and that he *might* listen.

    I remember him being in a VERY bad mood once - he purposefully singled me out and started belligerently goading me on a subject in front of everyone. I threw the (correct) answer and attitude back at him, and this thin dark smile crept over him, and he said, "You were made to have your hackles standing up, little girl." Then he turned around to everyone and said "She's smarter than you! Get back to work!"

    I also know ESTP "cavalier" types who are VERY gentlemanly, gallant, larger than life and repulsed by the idea of being coarse or dominating. I had an ESTP friend in my garage and even though he was rough around the edges and a bit mouthy (he said so himself), he was a loyal, funny and generous person with his friends. Another ESTP friend saw me crying once when a boy broke my heart, and he became very alarmed, took my hand, and looked terribly distressed and angry that anyone should hurt me. This was a hardcore, tattooed-all-over, pierced-all-over, almost died 80 million times, former soldier too. He asked me to run away with him to Australia so we could have a giant iguana farm or something hilarious like that. *laughs* He was a mess, but a sweet one.
    eNFJ 4w3 sx/so 468 tritype
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  5. #35
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    I think PinkPiranha has showed good examples of the different ESTPs you might bump into, both healthy and unhealthy

    Let it be noted that I never play games with people, what I meant was people try and start arguments etc with me and I see it as nothing more than a game that stuff like that is beneath me

  6. #36
    The Black Knight Domino's Avatar
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    I think being an ESTP would be both scary and thrilling all at once. I'd be a holy terror.

    I mean just look at Angelina Jolie. She *is* Laura Croft for crying out loud.
    eNFJ 4w3 sx/so 468 tritype
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    Dramatic>Sensitive>Serious

  7. #37
    Senior Member mwv6r's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by maliafee View Post
    I will give you a warning, in order to protect your sensitive self () -- ESTPs can destroy with a word, and I mean a word. If you get in an argument, you can not out-cut them, and if you try to attack them verbally, they will most certainly slice you in half. They are AWESOME, but you have to respect that ability (they are like snakes in that respect). Also, if you ask them what they're thinking/feeling all the time, it will get on their nerves. One last thing, if you get really emotional/cry, they sometimes have no idea what to do. Other than that, go for it!
    LOL sooo true! You could have been describing my ESTP mate.

    ESTPs are kinda a conundrum, because the poster is right, they can have a very sweet, affectionate side. But piss them off and they will find a way to WIN the argument at all costs. That's another thing about ESTPs, they have a strong need to be in charge in charge the majority of the time. (I tease mine by calling him "top pig.") They don't try to be in charge in a mean, domineering way like you might see in some other types, and once their position atop the hierarchy is secure they are usually laidback, romantic, fun-loving, and sweet. (And they're not looking for someone they can walk all over; they want someone who will stand up for themselves when necessary and set boundaries.) But they do like to be in charge nonetheless. If you're the type of person who doesn't mind that, it can go very well. But if you're more alpha than beta, there could be fireworks, and not in a good way.

  8. #38
    Senior Member Jonathanthegreat's Avatar
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    Hey everyone thank you for your responses. First off I'd like to say that I have no intentions of ever striking someone down with a negative comment. I see no use for it and lashing out against someone you love is not something that would be productive for the relationship in ANY way. Therefore I shall never do it. I feel there is no type I cannot establish "dominance" over, however with great power comes great responsibility. Just because I can prove to be dominant doesn't mean I should, I think the bigger person is the one who allows oneself to put their own needs aside to an extent. Above all I believe Love conquers all things. Again thank you all for your input, especially that ISFP girl, you like to type.

  9. #39
    Senior Member Jonathanthegreat's Avatar
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    oh and one more thing, where is a website I can go to in order to identify physical characteristics of a type? I'm mainly interested in INTJ/ENTJ. I'd prefer a link rather than someone just telling me but I'll settle for the latter if that is all that exists. thank youuuu

  10. #40
    Senior Member ThatsWhatHeSaid's Avatar
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    anyone + ESTP = no

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