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  1. #21
    Temporal Mechanic. Lexicon's Avatar
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    Personally.. I need LOTS of space.
    Space just being alone time, not actual square footage (ofc).
    Like, in my bedroom. Or in my car, listening to music. Or in the bathtub reading a book.
    Those are places I know I'm not likely to be intruded upon.
    It's best when I live entirely alone, though that's not always doable.

    It's just that 100% uninterrupted freedom, let my mind just wander the vast expanse of my internal universe. I hate getting jerked out of it suddenly - or being kept from visiting it for extended periods of time.

    People knocking at my door, yelling for me constantly, or otherwise summoning me is a huge 'space invader' for me, indirectly speaking. As are many phone calls. I hate the phone. Text messages are usually ok, but even on my stressful days, I just want to be invisible, dammit. Let me recharge in peace!

    People just 'showing up' at my house.. is unacceptbale 99.9% of the time.
    Unless you're upset or something. I can make an exception.
    Not that I don't enjoy the company of my friends, etc, but I definitely need to adjust to being around people, including them. So bursting into my space without warning, just, throws me off, and irks me. You'd rarely notice this, though I would tell you plainly at some point, not to just show up again. Nothing personal. Even just call or text from a few minutes away would be helpful.

    For this reason I try very hard to understand the personal boundaries of others as well, regardless as to whether or not they make sense to me. They don't have to.


    Really, I could go weeks without interacting person-to-person with a soul and be totally fine with it. Not sure if it's healthy, but it doesn't feel unhealthy.
    03/23 06:06:58 EcK: lex
    03/23 06:06:59 EcK: lex
    03/23 06:21:34 Nancynobullets: LEXXX *sacrifices a first born*
    03/23 06:21:53 Nancynobullets: We summon yooouuu
    03/23 06:29:07 Lexicon: I was sleeping!



    04/25 04:20:35 Patches: Don't listen to lex. She wants to birth a litter of kittens. She doesnt get to decide whats creepy

    02/16 23:49:38 ygolo: Lex is afk
    02/16 23:49:45 Cimarron: she's doing drugs with Jack

    03/05 19:27:41 Time: You can't make chat morbid. Lex does it naturally.

  2. #22
    failure to thrive AphroditeGoneAwry's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by faith View Post
    Oh, yes. I like lots and lots of space. I satisfied my need for space by building a little cabin way out in the woods. It's wonderful.

    When I can't leave physically, I leave mentally. I retreat to reading or writing. I find a corner and put up all the "keep out" nonverbal signs. I dream out the window, isolating myself from the crowd.
    wow. i just cleared a spot of land in our wood today so i could start building a little 'abode' as i call it on our property. i have been needing more and more space over the last 6 months, especially, and that has culminated in the idea to build something with my own two hands to escape to--mostly for myself...........and even today, i was imagining for the first time that i might slowly move into it as time goes by. to get space from my family to think, write perhaps (maybe i'll finish a book someday), and just get some space from my children. this sounds horrible, in some ways, but that is what my soul has been craving, and i have just started honoring that. so it's nice to see you guys feeling the same way.

    i don't just need personal space though, i'm feeling like i need more freedom too. i've been in a ltr and have children, but i have the hankering to connect with others and let my life take some new paths, but in my own calm way..........

    i've even pretty much left off seeing friends. i had waned down to only seeing several good friends, but now i only see one, and she drops in every few weeks, so that isn't so bad. i think they are starting to worry about me, and keep facebooking me that they want to get together, but i am forthright with them and tell them i'm okay, but just feeling very introspective right now, and do not desire company! i never had the cajones to do this before, but now i just don't care what they think.......

    faith, when you say 'built a cabin in the woods' did you mean designed and built with your own hands? i'd be interested in hearing more. i just bought several books about handmade dwellings, and am so inspired to start.........
    Ni/Ti/Fe/Si
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    The more one loves God, the more it is that having nothing in the world means everything, and the less one loves God, the more it is that having everything in the world means nothing.

    Do not resist an evil person, but to him who strikes you on the one cheek, offer also the other. ~Matthew 5:39

    songofmary.wordpress.com


  3. #23
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lexicon View Post
    Personally.. I need LOTS of space.
    Space just being alone time, not actual square footage (ofc).
    Like, in my bedroom. Or in my car, listening to music. Or in the bathtub reading a book.
    Those are places I know I'm not likely to be intruded upon.
    It's best when I live entirely alone, though that's not always doable.

    It's just that 100% uninterrupted freedom, let my mind just wander the vast expanse of my internal universe. I hate getting jerked out of it suddenly - or being kept from visiting it for extended periods of time.

    People knocking at my door, yelling for me constantly, or otherwise summoning me is a huge 'space invader' for me, indirectly speaking. As are many phone calls. I hate the phone. Text messages are usually ok, but even on my stressful days, I just want to be invisible, dammit. Let me recharge in peace!

    People just 'showing up' at my house.. is unacceptbale 99.9% of the time.
    Unless you're upset or something. I can make an exception.
    Not that I don't enjoy the company of my friends, etc, but I definitely need to adjust to being around people, including them. So bursting into my space without warning, just, throws me off, and irks me. You'd rarely notice this, though I would tell you plainly at some point, not to just show up again. Nothing personal. Even just call or text from a few minutes away would be helpful.

    For this reason I try very hard to understand the personal boundaries of others as well, regardless as to whether or not they make sense to me. They don't have to.


    Really, I could go weeks without interacting person-to-person with a soul and be totally fine with it. Not sure if it's healthy, but it doesn't feel unhealthy.
    Oh man, I HATE when people drop by my house unannounced! What a total disregard for boundaries, and manners in general. If a friend really needs my help that's one thing, but calling first would be appreciated in that case. I live in a city so people who work at the building would come by and try to show the apartment to potential buyers. I hate it when I would just get a random knock. I can deal with it, but it bothers me a lot. Especially considering that if I don't answer, they just unlock the door and open it. One time that happened when I had just gotten out of the shower. I have a feeling that would bother anyone.

    I also don't like when people invite themselves to my house. It happens from time to time and I feel like telling them, "Uh...I never invited you..."

    That's not to say I don't enjoy having guests in my house though. I just like them to be people I know fairly well and I like for things to be planned so I can clean up a bit to make things more hospitable. If these criteria are fulfilled, I have no issues with people visiting really, as long as it isn't too often.

    In short, I totally agree with your entire post and am exactly the same way. It's nice to know that there are others who feel the same way. I'm going to get really deep here, but I think evolution has kind of gone against INFJs and introverts in general, but especially INFJs. We're the rarest type! Was it always that way? Maybe, but the world is probably least structured for INFJs because we represent the smallest percentage of people. Therefore, interaction is tough for us with most people, and many of us need our space. It's no wonder that say, ESTJs rarely have these problems, because the world is much more suited for them. I don't mean to diss ESTJs, they can be great people, but on average they have an easier time in the world than any introverted type.

  4. #24
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lexicon View Post
    For this reason I try very hard to understand the personal boundaries of others as well, regardless as to whether or not they make sense to me. They don't have to.

    Really, I could go weeks without interacting person-to-person with a soul and be totally fine with it. Not sure if it's healthy, but it doesn't feel unhealthy.
    Thank you, Lexicon. I couldn't have put it better myself. I completely agree with this

  5. #25
    Senior Member gloomy-optimist's Avatar
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    I need a good amount of space; I really don't feel comfortable when there is always someone in my general vicinity making lots of noise or trying to constantly engage me.

    I also really don't like clutter in small places. I'm okay with it if the room is bigger, but it's really easy for me to feel slightly claustrophobic (or at least frustrated) when there's no room for me to work. Which is kind of irritating when your roommate junks the room...

  6. #26
    lurking.... Wyst's Avatar
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    Years ago, I needed lots of time to myself. Being around other people was fine, as long as I had a viable escape route. For example, I'd frequently turn down invitations to go do things with people/family if I didn't know how long it was going to last. But if it was just a movie and then everyone goes home? Sure thing - I'd go.

    I hated, and still do somedays, the phone. I think it's because I don't know what kind of conversation is waiting for me on the other end. Could be a 2 minute thing... could be a 2 hour thing.

    I'd say about 5 years ago, I was incredibly standoff-ish. I purposefully held people at arm's length because I wasn't going to let them in to get to know me (for lots of reasons). Now, I'm doing stuff with people all the time. It really is an incredible period of growth for me as an INFJ.

    As long as I get one evening a week to recharge and have some 'me' time. I'm good to go and don't mind doing stuff with people at the expense of my personal comfort.

    And here's the caveat. Some people just rub me the wrong way. As long as they keep their distance (physical proximity) then, fine. But man, if they come in for a hug or something like that - *eyes flash* - I will instantly revert back to my old INFJ self and want to get the hell away from them. Sometimes all it takes is for me to see that person coming and I'll do whatever it takes to avoid interaction- put on the head phones, pretend to read a book, pretend to be having a phone conversation with my cell phone.

    Clingy-ness? It really depends on who the person is. I have very close friends that I don't mind hugging, in fact, hugging just feels right/good. But other people, even though they are really good friends of mine, if I feel a hug coming at me, I'll do all kinds of gyrations and evasive maneuvers to escape the impending clutch of doom.

    With my girlfriend, though, I can't get enough cuddle time.

  7. #27
    Senior Member whimsical's Avatar
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    when I know I am not feeling my best, or just not feeling energized at all, then I do place a good amount of importance on taking time to be alone to just recharge and get my moods up
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  8. #28
    resonance entropie's Avatar
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    Space, the final frontier...

    You INFJs are a bunch of conflicting daredevils.

    Just try to keep an open mind and never to fall to deeply for your opinions
    [URL]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tEBvftJUwDw&t=0s[/URL]

  9. #29
    failure to thrive AphroditeGoneAwry's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by entropie View Post
    Space, the final frontier...

    You INFJs are a bunch of conflicting daredevils.

    Just try to keep an open mind and never to fall to deeply for your opinions

    i have probably one of the openest minds you'll ever meet.......but the falling too deeply........yes, that is a problem.
    Ni/Ti/Fe/Si
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    The more one loves God, the more it is that having nothing in the world means everything, and the less one loves God, the more it is that having everything in the world means nothing.

    Do not resist an evil person, but to him who strikes you on the one cheek, offer also the other. ~Matthew 5:39

    songofmary.wordpress.com


  10. #30
    resonance entropie's Avatar
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    Never say you have cause you have never...
    [URL]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tEBvftJUwDw&t=0s[/URL]

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