enfjs certainly can be extremely giving and generous and harmonizing when they feel good and want to contribute to others, make them feel better, etc. people get off-put bc they see how, tho like everyone else, this skill is contingent upon feeling like one's own needs are met, and that it seems like they are just trying to get something for their own gain/benefit. the fact that their welfare is connected to how others see them, and that they need positivity both around them and directed toward them, is what motivates their need to harmonize (and in a way that is more direct and far more directive). this is altered depending upon the specific enneagram defense strategy employed, ie 4w5 have different needs and different ways of relating and motivating their action/behaviour than 2w1s or 3w2s.
infjs are far more hesitant than enfjs when it comes to harmonizing. they consider the implications of their actions far more and far more critically, tho depending on their needs they may be just as self-understanding-focused (4), perhaps more expertise-focused (5), or more out-of-touch with their own needs/desires (9). infjs are still directive but they often pick their battles more and are far more reserved creatures. they spend more time organizing their own perceptions rather than creating objectives in the environment. this makes them feel far less pushy than enfjs sometimes do, instead sometimes falling prey to the horrors of 100% rigidity.