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  1. #41
    Junior Member a24kar's Avatar
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    This is very true.

    The noticeable difference that I would like to comment on from your post, referring to INFJ's and ENFJ's behavior in social situations, is that ENFJs will have a tendency to feed more easily off of the energy of others in a social situation where the INFJ may have the same capacity to seem "bubbly" in a friendly way, because of their auxiliary Fe, but definitely lack the endurance that an ENFJ naturally has in these situation due to their dominant extroversion.

  2. #42
    "Everything in its place" fill's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by PinkPiranha
    Plus, I've known rather a lot of INFJs irl and they all seem to get a free pass somehow, no matter how they behave.
    Ahaha, that's so damn true. I've never been put in a situation that will completely mess up my life. It's like I've never "lost" in the game of life. I don't know if it's a.) I'm really lucky, b.) I'm doing it right, or c.) I naturally live to have only enough to get by (or at least try to).

    I think the largest difference between INFJs and ENFJs is feeling over intuition and vice-verse. Both of us contain a large amount of the two, but we prefer one over the other. ENFJs, I would assume, would prefer to check what lines up with their feelings before relying on intuition, while INFJs-- or at least I-- turn to what is constructive or destructive to the human race before turning to my feelings.

    And I definitely agree with Skyward. I'm a much more "behind the lens" type of person. I don't want to be seen, I just want my effect on the world to be seen (hence the Jesus Christ-like figure ). I've noticed that ENFJs are constantly "on the move." I don't think I've ever seen my ENFJ friend not doing something.

  3. #43
    Senior Member The Grand Chameleon's Avatar
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    As an INFJ --> ENFJ convert, I will share the unhealthy version:

    Unhealthy INFJ experience:
    Always paranoid of people's underlying motives, fearful of expressing true sentiments (always against the majority) for the potential reprimand, vengeful against rivals and enemies, constantly writing passions, ideals, values in private blogs, avoiding social contact like the plague, extremely judgmental to newcomers in social circle. Highly sensitive to conflict and would always fall prey to ad hominem and non-sequitur reasoning.

    Unhealthy ENFJ experience:
    No longer fearful of man and his motives; instead, seek to obtain information regarding the enemy and use trust against himself. Constantly making new contacts in order to strengthen resources with which to wage war. Fear of reprimand disappears as a secondary party's morals and values are temporarily adopted for social gain. Expressing personal ideals are the last, final defensive mechanism that will never be broken (these ideals are ingrained in stone). Conflict situation provides a venue to discover your opponent's weaknesses, therefore welcomed and challenged with purely logical argumentation.

    From this, I can deduce that as an INFJ, I was always on the defensive. Upon becoming an ENFJ, I took the offensive. I was/am at war with people.
    "In the game of chess, you can never let your opponent see your pieces."

  4. #44
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    Quote Originally Posted by The Grand Chameleon View Post
    As an INFJ --> ENFJ convert, I will share the unhealthy version:

    Unhealthy INFJ experience:
    Always paranoid of people's underlying motives, fearful of expressing true sentiments (always against the majority) for the potential reprimand, vengeful against rivals and enemies, constantly writing passions, ideals, values in private blogs, avoiding social contact like the plague, extremely judgmental to newcomers in social circle. Highly sensitive to conflict and would always fall prey to ad hominem and non-sequitur reasoning.
    After converting to ENFJ (embracing Fe as opposed to demonizing it), I am becoming a much happier individual. I love to build rapport with others and I finally stopped being in my head so much and living in the moment more.

  5. #45
    Plumage and Moult proteanmix's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by The Grand Chameleon View Post
    Unhealthy ENFJ experience:
    No longer fearful of man and his motives; instead, seek to obtain information regarding the enemy and use trust against himself. Constantly making new contacts in order to strengthen resources with which to wage war. Fear of reprimand disappears as a secondary party's morals and values are temporarily adopted for social gain. Expressing personal ideals are the last, final defensive mechanism that will never be broken (these ideals are ingrained in stone). Conflict situation provides a venue to discover your opponent's weaknesses, therefore welcomed and challenged with purely logical argumentation.

    From this, I can deduce that as an INFJ, I was always on the defensive. Upon becoming an ENFJ, I took the offensive. I was/am at war with people.
    Eesh, I identified with this more than a little bit.

    I've always wondered with knowing how I'm a Fe-dom and I'm supposed to seek harmony and get people to play nice jives with the fact I'm terribly argumentative and instigating mutiny half the time. I'm not take care of other people's feelings Fe (I actually resent doing that) but I know I'm Fe. I've been told more times than I can count I should be a lawyer and I'm not being complimented.
    Relationships have normal ebbs and flows. They do not automatically get better and better when the participants learn more and more about each other. Instead, the participants have to work through the tensions of the relationship (the dialectic) while they learn and group themselves and a parties in a relationships. At times the relationships is very open and sharing. Other time, one or both parties to the relationship need their space, or have other concerns, and the relationship is less open. The theory posits that these cycles occur throughout the life of the relationship as the persons try to balance their needs for privacy and open relationship.
    Interpersonal Communication Theories and Concepts
    Social Penetration Theory 1
    Social Penetration Theory 2
    Social Penetration Theory 3

  6. #46
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    Quote Originally Posted by Faine View Post
    My sister tested as an ENFJ... She is certainly more... explosive, than I am. Whatever it is she's feeling at the time, good or bad, it's right there for everyone to see, right in your face, no escaping it.
    Me too. I am explosive. I believe that if I am not, no one will get to know the true me, so I take that risk.
    Quote Originally Posted by Faine View Post
    She misses people much more quickly than I do, but we both seem to worry about and want to help people in our own ways.
    I miss ppl so much that I am around ppl 24/7. Literally. Constantly. I have to pull myself off all social arenas like a leech so I can rest. But I would ALWAYS prefer to not rest, to be right in the thick of it. If I don't rest, I explode in a BAD way.
    Quote Originally Posted by Skyward View Post
    A good example of an ENFJ is Eve from the movie 'Driving Lessons.' She's zany, intelligent, sophisticated, and just a wee bit of a nutter.
    ENFJs always seem to be moving. Movemovemovemove. If they aren't doing something they burn themselves up with their intensity.
    Oh YEAH. If I am not moving I surely do burn myself up w/ my intensity.
    Quote Originally Posted by Skyward View Post
    ... in control of the wheel like with ENFJs.
    I think this is the influence of the stronger Se among ENFJs when compared to INFJs. I am so right there, up front and center, with life. Constantly. Its too exciting not to be. I do my best to compute self-awareness stuff as I go just so I can be up front and center, and take fewer breaks. This actually helps quite well- really does increase my stamina.
    Quote Originally Posted by Skyward View Post
    I find the ENFJs I know tend to be warmer more quickly to people ...an ENFJ is diving in: "The best way to find out how deep the water is is to jump in!" .

    Quote Originally Posted by Faine View Post
    She will try to hide this when around people she doesn't know so well, but to friends and family, she's very bad at keeping us out of the know. Her face really says it all. She's also more likely to react and say things without thinking them through.
    I have found a way to let my less than pleasant emotions out in a way that makes others comfortable.

    Its true, if I am unhappy I am a bit of a nutter. I am rather out in the open, however, with this awareness. I am more than happy to own up to my weaknesses, and enjoy telling the most dramatic, funny stories of my life. In fact, I am happy to entertain all friends and family...and just those passing by...with hysterical stories of self mishaps. Its that ENFJ TRAGIC sense of humor. It entertains me AND those around me- and lets off my "nutter" steam. Cause I can't stop laughing at myself.

    This is from wikisocionics, excerpt from the EIE type:
    GAMLETKA seems self-sufficient and irresistable with her striking skill, before people, to be in an excellent, elevated mood... ...her emotions are so beautiful that next to her one cannot fail to yield to her good mood... But if she is not in the spirit - woe befall all, woe! But we will not focus our attention on this.

    Do you see how quickly the tune changes? LOL This is such a great descriptor of me. I read this to my girls at work, for fun, and we laughed for days. They say to me now all the time, "Woe be unto all, WOE."

  7. #47

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    When a wrong-doer (or do-gooder) has been spotted, an INFJ will plot their demise (success) with chilling (loving) detail.

    ENFJs will execute aforementioned plot (plan).
    "The purpose of life is to be defeated by greater and greater things." - Rainer Maria Rilke

  8. #48
    Badoom~ Skyward's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by iwakar View Post
    When a wrong-doer (or do-gooder) has been spotted, an INFJ will plot their demise (success) with chilling (loving) detail.

    ENFJs will execute aforementioned plot (plan).
    INFJs will have a very thought out plan. ENFJs just find out all the dirtylittlesecrets (happy-makers) and use those within the week.
    'Imperfection is beauty, madness is genius and its better to be absolutely ridiculous than absolutely boring.' - Marilyn Monroe

    This is who I am, escapist, paradise-seeker.
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    Anthropology Major out of Hamline University. St. Paul, Minnesota.

  9. #49
    DoubleplusUngoodNonperson
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    well, since INFJ's have Ti higher..... they will be more sane and level-headed, IN THEORY!

    You know, since Ti is everything. WATCH MORE NOVA AND PBS FUGGAZ

  10. #50

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    Quote Originally Posted by nozflubber View Post
    well, since INFJ's have Ti higher..... they will be more sane and level-headed, IN THEORY!
    I don't have enough real time data with ENFJs to hypothesize.

    "The purpose of life is to be defeated by greater and greater things." - Rainer Maria Rilke

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