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  1. #31
    ish red no longer *sad* nightning's Avatar
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    I'm not sure if I agree that INFJs are low maintenance... but rather a different sort of maintenance compared to ENFJs. Much agree with cascade's comment on Fe emotionality. Extroverted ENFJs have a tendency to let others know about their moods more often than INFJs. That is not to say INFJs don't having fuming moments. They just try not to let it go in front of the general public. Instead they vent in private or with people who they feel close to one on one. The need is focused on a few selected individuals, so if you're merely an acquaintance, INFJs will seem low maintenance.

    Re: switching off auxiliary function
    Yes, you can turn off auxiliary. But it's not recommended to just skip on over to your tertiary. Instead you should supplement with axuiliary shadow.

    From my personal experimentation. Fe is easiest to shut off if I use Ti with Te. I still get Fe making snap judgment on things, but I let it go to analyze the problem with Ti, then ask what's the most effective solution (Te). It's good to have an external balance to prevent myself from being locked up in thoughts. Hence the need for Te in place of Fe.

    For ENFJs, I would say the problem with turning off Ni would be Fe running wild. To react without thought. In this case tertiary Se isn't going to help. Because it's just giving Fe more fuel to go nuts. Auxiliary shadow (Si) pairing would help to slow down thoughts. Think about the consequences of what you've done in the past to rein in the impulses. Then Si -> Ni, what does current and past events remind you of, think about what things you can do to break up tension. Use that silly Ni imagination to channel pent up energy.
    My stuff (design & other junk) lives here: http://nnbox.ca

  2. #32
    Cat Wench ReadingRainbows's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by nightning View Post
    I'm not sure if I agree that INFJs are low maintenance... but rather a different sort of maintenance compared to ENFJs.
    Emotional Matinence
    Quote Originally Posted by EffEmDoubleyou View Post
    St. Stephen took rocks and St. Sebastian took arrows. You only have to take some jerks on an internet forum. Nut up.

  3. #33
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    Quote Originally Posted by nightning View Post
    That is not to say INFJs don't having fuming moments. They just try not to let it go in front of the general public. Instead they vent in private or with people who they feel close to one on one.
    That is so true. I feel really bad for my family that they have to put up with me and my fickle moods. In public, I'm seemingly all...nice and calm, not easily moved.

  4. #34
    Senior Member the state i am in's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by PinkPiranha View Post
    Do you speak from your own personal experiences on that tac?

    I'd rather be Ne primary myself. It just seems so much more bullet-proof and self-rewarding.
    yes. if we had a complain-fest, my first remark would be being under-appreciated and un/mis-recognized for most of my life. then i realized the importance of iNtuition in social life and i feel fixed, know what i can do and have faith in its value, etc.

    My father told me something recently, something I remembered even this morning -- I wake or go to bed sick a lot. I've been fighting it for so long that it's second nature to brace myself when I feel it coming on. He told me not to fight it, to just let it happen because it was going to happen anyway, and then work to stop it when things had calmed down. This doesn't apply all the time, like with pain, but I get so angry and stiffen up when I feel sick and horrible AGAIN that not fighting it had never occurred to me.

    Are you troubled by harmful ideas because you never act on them?
    for me, and i think this relates to what you're saying, harmful ideas are ideas that get me in to traps. that are justifications for my own inclinations and perceptions that do not help matters. that add noise and confusion. harmful ideas are negative not bc of their relationship with action, they are harmful bc for an infj we feel our ideas. the ideas inside of us spur on Fe responses. so when an idea says something, when we see these connections between things in such and such a way and use Ti to justify our perception and give it all-encompassing authority rather than letting Fe deal with it in an extraverted way and disarm it, we get trapped Fe that can't do anything. like a one way fortress that traps us from getting out rather than the negativity from getting in.

    Entjs need that sort of physical connection and outlet. It's the same with my bff Athena. She needs to be very engaged in the present doing something she likes to counteract the stress she's under.
    does this not work with you? Se escape hatch/release valve/sensory coma? it does let the inflammation die down.

    I've been trying many methods of peeling it's fingers back over the years. Nothing completely effective.
    if you're in a difficult situation family and health wise, it's extra difficult. you have to use the strength you have built up from dealing with such things for so long and direct all of it on the positive things that can help you. bc a difficult situation can sour anyone, especially now and then. no one wins every game. and that's way too much to ask of anyone. there's simply too much for balance to be easy to come by.

    my only actual advice is to worry less about how you affect and come across to others. you seem to be letting that be the final nail in the coffin, using Fe to judge yourself way too much and not letting Ni find ways to cut you some slack, take into account different angles and perspectives, and not necessarily let the Fe run haywire and kick you when you're down. you're just a bit down now and then like everyone else, have some serious shit to deal with, etc. yet you still seem to be a very positive person for most people most of the time, so there's no reason to discount that and throw it all out at once.

  5. #35
    Member Faine's Avatar
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    My sister tested as an ENFJ. We often laugh about how similar and yet very different we are.

    I think the most noticable differences between us probably lay with our flow and expression of energy and also how we respond and react to our emotions. She is certainly more... explosive, than I am. Whatever it is she's feeling at the time, good or bad, it's right there for everyone to see, right in your face, no escaping it. She will try to hide this when around people she doesn't know so well, but to friends and family, she's very bad at keeping us out of the know. Her face really says it all. She's also more likely to react and say things without thinking them through. I'm usually calmer to the point of people not knowing what I'm feeling at all, and it's only in private or with people I'm close to that I'm a bit more honest about my emotions and my feelings on matters.

    When it comes to interacting with others, my sister is usually much louder and more energetic than I am. She loves being given a leadership role amongst friends and being the centre of attention. She likes to make sure she's helping them all one way or another and frequently receives praise for her efforts. I think she generally seeks that praise more than I do, but her kindness is by no means conditional. She has her limits like anyone, but will give and give for as long as she can. More often than not she seems to lack confidence without friends or some kind of social purpose and can suddenly become quite quiet and sulky on these occassions. She misses people much more quickly than I do, but we both seem to worry about and want to help people in our own ways.

    I can only really describe my sister as more extreme than I am, and not in a bad way. She's just much more emotional. Something by her is either very, very good, or very, very bad. Someone is either amazing or a total dick. The movie was either fantastic or a complete waste of time. There's not as much middle ground as I tend to find myself using.

    At any rate, I think our desire to help people and connect is much the same, we just tend to go about it in different ways.
    INFJ 9w1.

  6. #36
    Iron Maiden fidelia's Avatar
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    Thanks Faine, that was really helpful. Any other differences that you can think of? I just am not sure if I know any ENFJs in real life and so am trying to decide what would make them stand out.

  7. #37
    Revelation Lauren Ashley's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by greed View Post
    It seems that, overall, there's more of a difference between ExxP/IxxP types than ExxJ/IxxJ types aside from the introversion/extroversion difference. I've noticed a huge difference between ENFPs and INFPs as far as approach to the world, for example, but not so much between ENTJs and INTJs.
    Interesting. I see ENFPs and INFPs as having a lot in common, and ENTJ and INTJ as being very different. But I'm biased as I grew up with an INFP and ENFP.

    Quote Originally Posted by PinkPiranha View Post
    Oh I don't know. Take a look around here. You'll see what I mean. Plus, I've known rather a lot of INFJs irl and they all seem to get a free pass somehow, no matter how they behave. They're brilliant, they're passionate, etc et al. They'll always be worth the effort. It's some magic quality.
    Who are you hanging around with? Mind introducing me? Because everyone I know loves ENFJ. ENFJ is the perfect person -- organized, outgoing, and intelligent. Whereas INFJs no one really notices because they tend to fade into the background.

    Quote Originally Posted by the state i am in View Post
    most of all, the function difference in order DOES matter. dom Ni vs dom Fe is much different. you can avoid your second function a hell of a lot easier than you can avoid using your first.
    True. The auxiliary function serves the primary function.

  8. #38
    Senior Member Ruthie's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by cascadeco View Post
    To be honest, externally, in a social setting, I don't know that the differences between INFJ and ENFJ would be terribly apparent. Both would be relying on Fe. I have known INFJ's who can be much more talkative and babbly than ENFJ's in the same setting, and of course the reverse could be true too. I don't think you can use talkativeness (or lack of) as an indicator.
    That's so true.

  9. #39
    The Black Knight Domino's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lauren Ashley View Post
    Interesting. I see ENFPs and INFPs as having a lot in common, and ENTJ and INTJ as being very different. But I'm biased as I grew up with an INFP and ENFP.
    I find INFP and ENFP to be quite different as well, but I think you may be onto something about certain E/I reversals being less distinct between certain pairs.


    Who are you hanging around with? Mind introducing me? Because everyone I know loves ENFJ. ENFJ is the perfect person -- organized, outgoing, and intelligent. Whereas INFJs no one really notices because they tend to fade into the background.
    They "love" us for ten minutes and then they go into "you're too much" mode. Ticks me off. It's just like telling an introvert that their quiet nature is a flaw and not a trait. I've experienced this with men way more than women. Other women don't necessarily seem to mind me.

    Maybe I should just move to Lauren Ashley Land where ENFJs aren't so unfairly judged or treated like a homogeneous blob.
    eNFJ 4w3 sx/so 468 tritype
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  10. #40
    Badoom~ Skyward's Avatar
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    *Skips the thread out of impatience cause he'll lose the train of thought if he doesn't post RIGHT NOW*

    [trainofthought]
    A good example of an ENFJ is Eve from the movie 'Driving Lessons.' She's zany, intelligent, sophisticated, and just a wee bit of a nutter.
    ENFJs always seem to be moving. Movemovemovemove. If they aren't doing something they burn themselves up with their intensity.

    INFJs seem to be more aloof, more like someone viewing the world as if they were an astronaut. They are still 'doers' but their need to do is a backseat driver, not in control of the wheel like with ENFJs.

    I find the ENFJs I know tend to be warmer more quickly to people than INFJs. Where an INFJ connects slowly to people and situations, testing the water before sliding in, an ENFJ is diving in: "The best way to find out how deep the water is is to jump in!" could easily be an ENFJ trait.

    [/trainofthought]
    'Imperfection is beauty, madness is genius and its better to be absolutely ridiculous than absolutely boring.' - Marilyn Monroe

    This is who I am, escapist, paradise-seeker.
    -Nightwish

    Anthropology Major out of Hamline University. St. Paul, Minnesota.

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