User Tag List

First 678910 Last

Results 71 to 80 of 99

  1. #71
    Junior Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2009
    MBTI
    ISFJ
    Posts
    16

    Default

    No, he was the second person I had sex with but the first guy I had sex with was in high school and out of curiosity... but even that was after two years of dating him. And I don't know if he's using me or not... people have told me he keeps me around like a "trophy" and he'll never find anything better. But he doesn't ever let me know that I'm beautiful or special.

  2. #72
    Seriously Delirious Udog's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2008
    MBTI
    INfp
    Enneagram
    9w1 sp/sx
    Socionics
    INFp None
    Posts
    5,295

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by shortnsweet View Post
    We sound like nosey concerned nagging parents.
    Hehe. Damn, we need a beer injection STAT!

    Actually, I'm asking because it's something she should think about. I don't really care one way or another, but if he is she should realize it. It may help her get over him.

  3. #73
    Junior Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2009
    MBTI
    ISFJ
    Posts
    16

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by shortnsweet View Post
    We sound like nosey concerned nagging parents.
    haha it's okay. I like when people are concerned about my wellbeing.

  4. #74
    Senior Member King sns's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    MBTI
    enfp
    Enneagram
    6w7 sp/sx
    Socionics
    IEE
    Posts
    6,748

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Udog View Post
    Hehe. Damn, we need a beer injection STAT!

    .
    Yea or maybe we just need to get laid ourselves! ha!



    Anyway, regarding your situation Hunni, I don't know what to tell you. Seems like you know exactly what to do, (break it off for good). But something is holding you back from doing it.
    Love is such a broad term that I think can be overused in situations like these. What do you love about him? Clearly its not the way that you feel when you're together. It can't be the sex, because last I checked, around 50% of people on the planet have penises. From the few posts you've made, sounds like you might have a possible problem with self esteem. Is it that you think you can't do any better? Its hard to know what kind of advice to give in these situations.

  5. #75
    Senior Member Koocoomoo's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2009
    MBTI
    iNFp
    Enneagram
    4w3?
    Posts
    127

    Default

    I always thought it was interesting that we're supposed to be opposites,
    but GOSH! I think ESTPs are THE MOST hilarious people I've ever met. No one makes me laugh as hard and genuinely as they do.
    Plus, all the ESTPs I know are the nicest, sweetest, most considerate beings ever.
    I could never in a relationship with them, but the ESTP is good people.
    'Sall I'm sayin.

    Painfully Bipolar

  6. #76
    Ginkgo
    Guest

    Default

    My mother is an ESFP, and our communication styles are polar opposites. She cannot grasp intangible concepts for her life, so I had to spell everything out for her in detail before she could understand.

    Hopefully you do not have this issue, but if you do, you should make sure that your communication style is clear and concise.

  7. #77
    Senior Member Ruthie's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2009
    MBTI
    ?
    Posts
    436

    Default

    From the other perspective...

    Last month I started dating an INFP, and while it might not be said of all infp-estp pairings, it hasn't been a great match. He tries to do so many thoughtful things for me... every time I mention I like doing something, he invites me to do it. As a result, ALL of our dates have been places I like to go, even though I'm not the one suggesting it or even trying to plant the idea.

    It can come out really badly sometimes - I mentioned that I liked fairs, so he invited me to the state fair. Nice, right? Only he hates rides, something I don't really understand until we get on the tilt-a-whirl together and I spend the whole ride telling him to breathe and trying to keep him from being sick. On one level, I know it was sweet of him to try, but on another level... gimmie a break, it was a tilt-a-whirl!

    It's not just that. Last week, he took off work several hours early to cook dinner for me - the exact meal I had said I wanted. Again, I know I make him sound like a dream guy, but it isn't that easy.

    I do generally try to follow the guidelines of social acceptability, so - as a woman - I try to curb my behavior to be more in line with his. When he's sick on the ride, I become comforting (even though I'm not feeling particularly empathetic). I tell him how delicious the meal he cooked is, even though romantic dinners just aren't my thing. I become completely passive about what I want to do, constantly deferring: Let's do something you want to do next week... even though I'm much more comfortable offering an opinion than soliciting others. I tell myself before each date that I'm going to be myself and either he still likes me or he doesn't. But each time, I wind up subconsciously matching the mood of the moment until I get home and wonder who the hell I was with him.

    As a result, while I know this guy likes me, I don't think he really knows me. I soften my jokes, rein in my opinions, and try to say comforting, sensitive, encouraging things. On top of that, it's made me resentful of him. I know consciously that it isn't his fault, but part of me just thinks that if he could toughen up a bit, I could be myself. As is, this relationship is going nowhere, and I'm apparently going to prove to him that nice guys, do indeed, finish last.

    Sorry for the long story. Just wanted to give a little glimpse of how it's not always so easy to be on the other side of these relationships either.

  8. #78
    Junior Member mangos's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2009
    MBTI
    INFP
    Enneagram
    6&2
    Posts
    21

    Default

    Please note this is just my personal experience and I'm in no way saying that all ESTP's are this way. That said, I dated an ESTP for 3 years, and it did NOT work out. He was flaky and controlling and insensitive, did whatever he felt like, tried to boss me around, etc. I mean, he had his good points too (he was pretty hilarious and entertaining), but I certainly didn't feel he was "protecting my weak sides" or anything like that--he was kind of an exploitative ass who criticized me a lot and made me feel stupid and irrational. I think he did love me, in his warped sort of way, but our relationship was pretty dysfunctional, seeing as he felt that his wants and whims and thoughts were more important than mine (or anyone else's). I'm sure not all ESTP's are the way mine was, but my experience wasn't good.

    Edit: My ESTP also had some mild anxiety/depression going on, and I'm sure that affected his behavior somewhat, although I'm not exactly sure to what extent. But he definitely had some baggage.

  9. #79
    man-made neptunesnet's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2009
    MBTI
    INFP
    Enneagram
    5&4 sx
    Socionics
    INFj
    Posts
    1,232

    Default

    Hm, this is tricky.
    One of my good friends is an ESTP. We get along well. I know she trusts me and confides in me about her problems. On the other hand, if ever I ventured to tell her anything truly personal about myself, which is about as rare as my winning a gold Olympic Medal, I never tell her too much. It's always vague and superficial. It's not because I dislike her or don't trust her. She just doesn't see things in the same way I do, and I don't want my idealism to be (once again) discouraged. With her thinking function, she sometimes scoffs at my ideals because she doesn't understand them ('tis a no-no in my book) and prides herself on her pragmatism. I can't begin to recall the times she thought defaming or badmouthing someone was only "harmless banter," and I don't take too kindly to verbal bullies .
    But we are great friends. She's a loyal and enjoys my company, and I listen to her problems and like her "let's party" personality. We're both creative and share a similar brand of humor, and she has a pretty well-developed feeling function. The relationship is good for the most part...Well, except when she texts me and expects me to respond immediately although I'm stuck in dream world and want. to. be. left. a-lone.


    I don't know you personally, so I can't determine whether or not your relationship would work out. Sawree . I know with my ESTP friend that I honestly don't feel we could have a long-lasting and meaningful friendship. It's nice for now, but unfortnately it's fleeting.
    It could work, though, in a romantic relationship.
    Just not with me.
    Last edited by neptunesnet; 09-18-2009 at 05:00 PM.

  10. #80
    Nickle Iron Silicone Charmed Justice's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2009
    MBTI
    INFJ
    Posts
    2,808

    Default

    All the ESTPs that I know in real life are badass! They also aren't monogamous or emo, and are occasionally dominating. You gotta be able to lay the smack down on them every now and then, and let them have their space. I'd say no go for INFP in general. They're the lady killers, and you, are the lady.
    Likes lulabelle liked this post

Similar Threads

  1. INTJ (Se) how does it work, and what for?
    By Gizmo in forum Myers-Briggs and Jungian Cognitive Functions
    Replies: 0
    Last Post: 06-06-2015, 07:37 PM
  2. Does it drive you crazy to have nothing to do at work?
    By Athenian200 in forum The Bonfire
    Replies: 38
    Last Post: 11-11-2013, 05:40 PM
  3. [NT] Sleep - how does it work?
    By alakazam in forum The NT Rationale (ENTP, INTP, ENTJ, INTJ)
    Replies: 20
    Last Post: 05-11-2010, 12:21 AM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
Single Sign On provided by vBSSO